Category: Prairie Home Companion - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Prairie Home Companion - Duct Tape Surgery (Oct. 2001)

2/24/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Here's a bit of weirdness; I've been forced to relocate my audio bits as the old website suddenly ceased to exist, taking all my material with it. Since a group I'm dealing with uses SoundCloud, I've started setting up shop here. As I was doing so, I realized I never posted one of my PHC bits.

It was October 2001. Garrison Keillor had heart surgery over the summer. It was now just a month after 9/11. This was the first show of the season. I had submitted a sketch sort of referencing 9/11, a Guy's Shoes bit I wrote about here. They did use a version of it. But, I actually got a second piece on the show, the one and only time that happened for me. I combined GK's heart surgery with his running bit about duct tape and he opened the show with it.

This reminds me of the fact that GK never kept in touch with me. I spent the latter half of the summer checking the PHC website to find out when the show was back on the air. Especially this summer with his health and after 9/11. The show usually started in October and I don't remember if they pushed it back at all. But I know that no one had reached out to me to see if I was okay or to inform me if the show schedule would be changed. And I had to do that for the rest of each season, checking when it was on or where it was broadcasting from.

Anyway, here from Oct. 6, 2001, is Heart Surgery and duct tape.

Dan Fiorella · PHC - Duct Tape Heart Surgery

Barely Home Companion-Post-State of the Union (Jan. 2004)

1/20/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

If memory serves, this is the last bit PHC bought from me. It's massively re-written as GK inserts his "tax & spend" liberal ideals into the bit to garder "clapter" (that's getting claps instead of laughter for something said. It's not a joke, just a declaration that everyone agrees with). It's just odd how I attempt to write a tight sketch, it gets unraveled into a meandering routine.

It's back on the old PHC website (they had shrubbed it after GK had his #MeToo Moment a few years ago), but I'm posting my audio file below, so you may compare and contrast.

Post-State of the Union

Sketchy Tales: PHC-Ketchup Advisory Board (Dec. 03)

12/28/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Here's one of those submissions with a happy-ist ending. As I've mention before, I was always looking to write one of PHC's signature bits, not the big ones like the cowboys or the english major, but I tried his Guy Noir character (and got a line or two picked up for one sketch), I submitted for duct tape and ketchup to some success. But a many of my sketches had to pass through the GK-rewrite process.

One of my pet peeves is how we're inundated with Christmas music from Thanksgiving on and then somewhere around noon on Christmas Day, the radio station all go back to their standard playlists. I used the ketchup sketch to whine about that. But the folks latched onto the idea that music today sucks and people seem overly attached to 1950s pop music. It's weird how that's the premise they focused on.

A version of my sketch was produced and there's a couple of my lines in their version. I got a check and an online credit. And enough confidence to continue submitting to the show for a couple of more years.

I'm posting my version of the sketch, followed by the audio of the PHC Dec. 27, 2003 production (which they have in their archives, here

Ketchup Advisory Board: Post-Holiday Blues

Prairie Home Companion - Autumn Basket of Cheer (Oct. 2002)

10/13/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is actually a sketch tale and not a skit happens post, as this sketch made it in. I got a lot of nice feedback on this one. It's my homerun. Granted, they rearranged it a lot; GK is out and a regular announcer is in. The annoyed husband is now the wife.

Autumn Basket of Cheer

Barely Home Companion - The Hawaiian Rule (1/02)

1/5/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I've forgotten what an overhaul this sketch had gotten from my submission. The show was since on its road trip and was doing the show from Hawaii. I broke the cardinal rule of writing for PHC, doing TV references. And that little bit of the bit is simply a set up to the main part of the sketch, a SFX skit about coconuts, which I had totally forgotten about. So, Garrison actually took my premise that the FCC requires all broadcast shows to do episodes from Hawaii, and swapped out my TV references (Brady Bunch, Sanford and Son) with other dated TV references like Mr. Ed, Gomer Pyle, Ed Sullivan...and Arthur Godfrey.). Obviously, they turned it into a bit that showcased Tim Russell vocal talents. Some of my references (I Love Lucy, Elvis) got in but vastly reworked. I guess because of that, I got no on air or online credit for the bit. But the SFX half is a pretty good, silly premise with the usual type of SFX antics. Sorry that didn't make it in.

The full show ishere. I put the broadcast version of the sketch below.

The Hawaiian Rule

Barely Home Companion - Taliban 12/22/01

12/22/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Meanwhile, back at life in post 9/11...With the hunt on for Osama Bin Laden after the terrorist attacks, there were lots of reports of where he was alleged to be. And he kept releasing videos. And kept declaring one jihad after another, to keep his base energized. And that's where the idea for this sketch came from, that he's in the cave reduced to declaring jihads on every little annoyance. Seemed like a classic sketch premise.

Now what they did to it was use the premise, use the gags, reorder them, reword them and then have it wander off into some weird winter wonderland bit. And for that, the credit reads:

© Garrison Keillor 2001, additional material by Dan Fiorella

I often joked that Garrison Keillor was exactly the kind of guy the WGA was created to fight. As I've said before, GK was pretty random with credits and here is the strongest display of his randomness. It's obviously my work, tinkered with. I am hardly the "additional material," he is. Hey, yeah, it's been a long time, but if I just silently accept it, the terrorists win. But as some outsider, I was grateful to be reminded that they were still reading my submissions and seeing stuff good enough to use. And pay for. Here's my version of the skit followed by the broadcast version that PHC archived here.

Bin Laden, Done That

Barely Home Companion - Being North Dakota (Dec. 2001)

12/15/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Here's one of those times it sucks to be a stringer. They were doing another road show. So I did some research and one of the news items for North Dakota back in 2001 was an effort to re-name the state. That sounded like a solid premise for a sketch. So I wrote it up and submitted it. And they used it. Or rather, re-purposed it. A truncated version of the bit winds up in that week's Guy Noir adventure, as the premise to kick off his latest case. Just mentioning the idea of renaming the state got a huge laugh. After that, they just run through the gag names without much commitment and then they go off on a lot bit about a finished basement and accents. But, the check cleared, and I picked up shared credit on the skit:

© Garrison Keillor, Dan Fiorella 2001

So, here's the original skit and what they broadcasted. The link to the full bit on the PHC site is here.

Being North Dakota

Barely Home Companion - A Charlie Brown Mid-Life Christmas (12/01)

12/13/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This was a strange run for me. They used some of my writing during the month of December, but never quite in the context I wrote it. I had this piece called A Charlie Brown Mid-Life Christmas which I adapted for radio and submitted. Granted, it faced the hurdle of being too TV, but, it's Peanuts, for heaven's sake and a classic Christmas special. Anyway, they lifted one line from my piece and used it in one of his Barry Minot sketches, a running bit he did that sounded like many of the other running bits he did. I got an "Additional material" credit for my efforts:

© Garrison Keillor 2001, additional material by Dan Fiorella

I posted my version of the sketch a couple of Christmases ago (the link is above) as a "Skit Happens" entry. The broadcast version is below, with the PHC page here. They saved my line for the big ending.

Dan Fiorella · PHC - Barry Minot Christmas

Barely Home Companion - Bush State o'Union Address 2004

1/13/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Back in 2004 there wasn't a heck of a lot of post-State Of The Union follow-up comedy. But that year Bush took a moment to speak out against steroid use in baseball, and while it is a valid concern, many wondered why it came up in a SOTU address. But that remark was the inspiration for a sketch: other things the President didn't get to bring up or fully explain. The bit went well and was surprisingly true to the script I submitted. Yet, there was no credit for me, on air or on the website. I noticed that there's no credit for Keillor online either.

This is a bitter sweet sketch for me, it's the last sketch of mine that they used. I actually continued to submit to the show for the remainder of the 2003-2004 season, and the next two beyond--I was even sending material well into 2007, and occasionally after that--but none of it was acknowledged. I was not really fired, no one asked me to go away, I just petered out. I just wasn't making the cut and after a while of that I just stopped sending things in. It was sad and frustrating but unsurprising based on all my previous experience there.

Writing is a solitary profession. I always dreamed of joining that comedy room or being part of a team. I wanted to belong to something that I wanted to belong to. Style Without Substance, the WGAE, the Plague, PHC, workshops, but something always eluded me. Sometimes they ended and it felt like I was dropped to the curb. Mostly it involves my lack of social skills, I'm civil, personable but I'm an introvert and can't exist outside my comfort zone for long. When my excuse for being with people ends, I am incapable of maintaining that relationship. It's happened with classmates, committee members and co-writers. I just retreat to my hidey-hole and look for the next place to mail by submissions out to.

Years ago, I was once talking with my friend; we were both writing and we both had day jobs. I hadn't really told anyone at work about what I did on the side and I asked him if he had. He promptly said no. And it was never something he considered. To him, "writer" was his secret identity and his super power. Sometimes I forget that. I'm a writer. Yes, there's the day job and the family and the chores and the kids, but the core issue remains; I'm a writer. And the fact is, working on this blog has reminded me of that. It's not a stellar career but it it mind.

Anyway, on Jan. 24, 2004, PHC presented my State o'Union sketch (with my original script posted below).

Bush State o'Union Address 2004

A Writer's Journal Journey: The Prairie Home Companion Years; 10/99-11/00

9/20/2019

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I've been pulling up these old PHC bits over the last few months and the decided I wanted to look up how I felt about things at the time. I pulled out my old journals from the PHC years and some of what I remember is off a bit. On 9/1/99, I wrote:

"Got a tip on PAGE for someone looking for comedy sketches. Turns out to be Garrison Keillor's NPR show.
I emailed them Othello, Barney and Peace o' Mind. The producer wrote back saying she really liked them. They're off the air 'til October but she'll be getting back to me."

Oh, yeah, PAGE. That was (is?) a writers BBS that was created originally as a space for Writers Guild Members to interact on the internet. I had forgotten that's where I got the lead from. It had been a really nice online presence that made me feel like I was part of the writing community. I lot of advice and help was shared there. Today, things have moved to Writers Action BBS.

On 10/6/99, I wrote:

"Prairie Home Companion used a version of Abbott & Othello Saturday on their show! It's now archived on the web. They liked the other 2 things as well. They'll be paying me for the sketch. Then she called today (Christina Tschida, producer) to get to know me better--the next batch of stuff floored her, it was very good and right up their alley. She'll be sending me some scripts and tapes to get a better feel of the show."

You can see why I was so stoked by this new gig. And why I was so bummed as I seem to lose their attention. I got phone calls, I got CDs, I got checks! By 10/20/99 I was already worried that they hadn't used anything else, or acknowledged the submissions. On 11/19, I note I submitted specific material for their Rapid City road show and had gotten no reaction. On 11/22, I wrote they had used my "Mt. Rushmore" sketch and then lamented that it veered into an anti-Republican rant and got away from the apolitical piece of whimsy that I wrote. Plus, nobody told me it was going up. But I had a check coming (which was very important in 1999). I was getting ready to set the next batch of material for their first New York City show of 1999. And I was going to ask if I could attend a performance.

On 12/8 I wrote:

"PHC didn't give me an on-air credit but the bit is posted with the standard "Idea by" credit. And a check is headed my way. No response to my request to attend the show. And none of my stuff has been used thus far in NYC. Very frustrating getting ignored in my hometown."

By 1/7/00 I note that PHC finally posted my credit online for the Christmas material they used. on 2/19 I learn the producer feels my material was missing the mark. I'm told to avoid pop culture, Keillor is clueless. Don't meander, maintain the through-lines. They were headed on the road to Great Britain, but used none of my submitted material there. So I began compiling material for their return, in NY, in March. Which I then managed to lose by somehow wiping clean my special PHC floppy disc. I had to recreate them. I was pulling out the stops at this point, new material, resurrecting and reworking old bits. I scanned the hard copy of an old thing I had rewritten for a revue, Dial M for Marriage, which was a very audio-based bit. I was grabbing stuff from college, typing up material that was all pre-digital, re-working it into radio format. I never would get an invite to attend the show.

Still to do: Groucho song "Medicine and "Style" audition--black out sketches as a Broadway tale--all must be typed.
Tschida kinda likes our Armageddon Married sketch (updated to "Who wants to Marry a Rich Guy) <ed. note: It was a skit about a mass marriage, inspired by a Rev. Moon stunt>. She's worried it's too TV. It's not and I told her that.
Also, she's desperate for jokes for the Joke Show <ed. note: That was out of my wheelhouse>

I'm shocked to see on 4/10/00, that my entry says PHC was interested in my NYC medley piece and asked for a rewrite on the ending. That's been my constant complaint here that I never heard back on them. And he's is evidence I did. They never used it, however. I even wrote that my erstwhile writing partner was working on his own solo piece, after I hooked him up with the show (he was my co-writer on the mass marriage bit). Again, had totally forgotten about that.

Anyway, they didn't use the skit. And I wrote that I was ticked off because they did a Staten Island ferry sketch. I'm from Staten Island! I should have done that sketch!

By June 2000, I'm just recording that I'm still "submitting a piece a week to be rejected by PHC." In July, I must have asked the PHC producer about other radio sites because I say there was no reply. All was quiet for the summer, radio-wise. As they geared up for the 2000-2001 season, I got word the producer loved Radio Olympics. But not enough to use it, as it turned out. I was starting to realize that the producer at PHC was important but labored under the whims of GK. That turns out to be another story, long after I was done...

Well, this brings my journal into synch with what I've been posting, so back to the sketches!

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