​From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion."  I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie."  It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there.  But, like any other job, there were...things...

All righty, I have NO recollection of this sketch; where it came from, what inspired it, how I put it together.  It's like I'm reading it for the first time.  And I like it.  Was there some big plagiarism scandal going at the time?  A quick google search says yes there was.  A Harvard student, Kaavya Viswanathan confessed to cribbing parts of a book for something called How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life.  I have no recollection of this either.  Oh, well.  Anyway, I ran with it and turned it up to 11 with some nice bits of cross talk in it.  Sort of Pythonish, but not really.

​​​​​​​​​​​From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion."  I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie."  It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there.  But, like any other job, there were...things...

Here's me making fun of the dot.com bubble, by taking an idea I had, then grafting it onto a running character PHC had, Larry.com.  Ebay was a big deal.  Grubhub hadn't become a thing yet, but I wondered about how I could profit off of used-food.  Eat-bay seemed like the perfect vehicle.   Then I pull a big twist and have a second PHC regular show up!  And then I goof on Napster for a minute.  It's not a bad little sketch, considering how little I know about technology.   And I'm actually surprised it's as long as it is for such a goofy idea.

​​​​​​​​​​From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion."  I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie."  It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there.  But, like any other job, there were...things...

I guess I'm doing this to remind myself about all the material I've written over the years.  I have no memory of this sketch.  It's a quick commercial parody for a dumb product, which I must have backed into with the name of the product.  I'm reading it and it definitely reads like a PHC sketch, with the couple at odds over the whole concept.  I should check to see if I peddled it to the other radio outlets I was dealing with at the time.  It really would fit in most places.  Maybe I need to mind the files for internet content.  If only I had production abilities or connections.

They didn't use the bit.  And the show was taking a few weeks off before doing a series of shows on the road, some within Minnesota. 

My short play, "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Sobriety" will be part of the Hudson Classical Theater Company's WAGG short play festival March 22 & 23 at the 102nd Street Field House.  It's a free event, but you need to reserve a seat at Eventbrite here.  ​

​​​​​​​​​From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion."  I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie."  It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there.  But, like any other job, there were...things...

Just some random silliness.  Pirates were becoming a recurring theme in my comedy.  Video pirates who were recording Hollywood movies to bootleg, porch pirates stealing packages, Last Pirate Standing, a game show video (that actually went to air), medical eye patch commercials.  It's a fun thing to write about.  Getting them picked is a different story.  There had been stories about schools putting on productions of plays without getting permission.  Some where they didn't even get a script, a teacher transcribed a play from memory.  So, it seemed like the most logical next step for piracy, me bucco!

​​​​​​​​From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion."  I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie."  It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there.  But, like any other job, there were...things...

Remember back to when the worse thing a vice-president could do was shoot someone in the face?  But, then, like now, there was never any pushback on it.  Dick Cheney shot a guy and got away with it.  In fact the guy had to apologize to him.  This was kind of a inflection point with the GOP to where in the future a candidate for office could brag about shooting people on 5th Ave. and not lose support.  

I don't know if I thought PHC would use a sketch like this.  I mean, I thought it worked.  And it was topical.  And I thought a decent take on the news, but maybe it was a bit too stringent for the radio show.  Didn't get picked.  But it's a good snapshot of another time and place.

​​​​​​​From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion."  I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie."  It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there.  But, like any other job, there were...things...

Here's one I had forgotten about.  The Catsup stuff was a regular bit on the show, and it was award show season, so why not combine them? I had some movie related jokes to get out of my system (Hollywood's obsession with rehashes, reboots and sequels),   I really like the line "metaphorical water cooler."  How did I come up with that?  I thought I really captured the essence of Ketchup.  They didn't use it, but since it is award season again, it's a good time to post, right?

​​​​​​​​From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion."  I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie."  It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there.  But, like any other job, there were...things...

The year 2006 wasn't a great time for the auto industry.  Obama had to bail out Detroit and so did George W.  New technology was eluding them and old technology was locked in.  Cars from overseas were ruling the market and layoffs were the norm.  The perfect time to mock the car makers, no?

The more things change, the more they stay the same.  (The sketch wasn't used, BTW)

HENRY: Hi, I’m Henry Forged the Third, President, CEO, Founder and Chairman of the Board of Forged Motors.  As you may have heard, we here at Forged have been having a hard time of it.  But thanks to laying off a bunch of people and paying for a bunch of new commercials, I think you'll see things start to turn around.  

Sure, we now realized that maybe building a car called the Forged Glutton wasn’t the brightest idea.  

(sound of engine starting, then gulping sounds)

I mean, really, we thought it up when gas was only 2 dollars a gallon.  Who know it would cost more than milk?  And just because people went nuts over Sports Utility Vehicles that really wasn’t a good reason to run out and build the SUV XXXL. 

(sound of huge monster engine starting up, ship horn blows)

      Of course now we realize that by “hybrid technology,” people didn’t mean an automobile that uses both gasoline and nuclear power.  So much for the Forged Fission.  
      
      (sci-fi pulsing sound)
      
      But we at Forge Motors are desperate to prove to that we have our thumb on the pulse of America and that we understand your transportation needs, as well has those of your chauffeurs.  You know, I remember a time when people wouldn't buy a German car because we fought the Nazis in World War II.  I wish we had those people around today.  We fought Japan in that war, too, you know.  Yet you all go out buying their cars like they weren't guilty of horrible wartime atrocities.  What’s up with that?
      
      Anyway, we’re retooling and we’re repositioning ourselves to retake the American automobile market.
      
      (banging and hammering)
      
      It’ll take hard work, some lobbyists, tariffs and a bunch more layoffs.  Oh, yeah, and outsourcing.  Can’t forget the outsourcing.  
      
      We’re bringing in the best and brightest engineers, people who are the cutting edge of Amish technology.  Yes, soon you’ll be able to own the Forged Surry or the Forged Perambulator. 
      
      (horse whiney, clip-clop)
      
      Yes, we’ll be putting the horse back into horsepower.  It was my granddad, Henry Forged the First, who said he wanted to make a car that his own employees could afford.  Since we now have way less employees, that means more cars for you, so come on down to your local Forge dealer and check them out.

ANNOUNCER: Forge Motors.  America’s number one automaker until recently. Hey, at least we're not GM.

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