Category: Cracked Magazine - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Cracked: A Look Backed- Sylvester on the Stump 8/20

7/12/2023

One of my steadiest gigs was writing for Cracked Magazine. I talked about it here.

After Cracked was sold by Dick Kulpa to a confusion of people, we were all out of work. The new owners wanted little or nothing to do with the former crowd. A lot of us wound up on a Facebook group page. Some stories are told, old pieces reposted and vague memories shared. And then, the administrator of the page, author and comic nerd, Chet Jasper Reams decided to try something new. Which was create new content.

Back in 2020, there was a presidential election. Maybe you read about it. Reams dropped me a DM and asked if I might consider writing up a short piece about the mascot, Sylvester, running for president. I'm sure I don't know if he contacted anyone else, but I said, "Sure." I tend to to that. I wrote up a bit and sent it in. Then something amazing happened. He got it to artist Bruce Bolinger to draw it! That was in late July, 2020. By the end of August it was posted on the group page.

Something new is bubbling now, but it got me to thinking about that article and I figured I should include it on the blog. So, this is

Sylvester on the Stump 2020

Barely Home Companion - Trump Golf (Mar. 04)

3/3/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

People have forgotten (or ignore) what a object of ridicule Donald Trump was before he ever ran for office. SNL was mocking him back in the Phil Hartman days. By the 2000s, he was on "The Apprentice" and a regular target for Darrell Hammond. And we were piling on, too. I wrote up this piece about Trump after he announced some golf course was opening. I wrote the radio sketch and after PHC passed on it, I adapted it for Cracked magazine. The timing is close, the sketch is from February 2004 and it was in Cracked #364, which is dated September 2004, but usually comes out a month or two earlier. Cracked didn't have a long lead time, so if I re-wrote quickly enough, Cracked could have grabbed it quickly. They were kind of desperate for material during this era. It maybe have been too pop-culture-y for GK. Or Trump simply wasn't on Keillor's radar yet. I don't remember if they had done any Trump-related material back then. Nonetheless, here's the version I submitted to PHC:

Trump Golf

Barely Home Companion: Roller Coasters (6/2001)

6/4/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell "prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

As summer was approaching, it was time to pull out summertime bits. I had written this piece as a prose article, then converted it into a Cracked magazine submission. It was accepted there, at least. I thought I did a fairly decent job at adapting it for radio, but I didn't make the cut. Perhaps it was a tad cruel and crude for GK, but I always fancied the idea of him reading certain expressions in that tone of his. Nevertheless, we now present the PHC version of...

Roller Coasters

Cracked: A Look Backed: Easter Edition - The Upside/Downside of Easter

4/21/2019

Happy Easter! And here's my addition to your basket, my Easter piece for Cracked magazine, #343, May 2000!

Barely Home Companion - ULTI-MED 5/00

3/13/2019

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Oh, look, another pharma parody! This one was a rewrite of an old Cracked magazine piece I did. Also inspired by SNL's Happy Fun Ball. They are fun bits to write, as you can just do a stream-of-consciousness run of the various things that can go wrong. It's a staple of comedy, runs of words that play off each over, sound alike, get worse and worse, or more absurd. It's just weird that I submitted this bit so closely after I submitted the other bit. But, when you're trying to come up with material, you can't get too choosy about what and when you send it. But, unlike the Cracked version, the set up is pretty straight forward. It's the disclaimers that go nuts and completely contradict the commercial. Especially the fact that the first three things side effects are the exact things the commercial copy says it doesn't do. Too subtle?

ULTI-MED

A Face for Podcasts: Fun Ideas #7

11/2/2018

Hey, internet! I'm on a podcast! Mark Arnold, author and curator of pop culture, invited me to be on his Fun Ideas podcast! We talked about many things, but mostly me. We met online years ago when he was working on a book about Cracked magazine. So the podcast starts there and goes far afield. He posted it on Youtube. Also, I talked A LOT, so he broke it into two parts. What can I say, you get me wound up and that's what happens.

Cracked: A Look Backed - #364, Sept '04

3/14/2012

#364, Sept '04

The Grand Finale. For me.

This was a quick rewrite of a sketch I had submitted to the Prairie Home Companion radio show earlier that year. They passed on it. Cracked was desperate for material as it was winding down, so I adapted to the magazine and submitted it. I don't remember the "you're fired" ending (and it didn't exist in the original radio version) so I'm wondering how much they pushed me to add it or just edited in after they bought it to work in that "You're fired" catchphrase.

Cracked Look Backed - #363, Jul '04

3/13/2012

#363, Jul '04

Yeah, the gap between issues is widening.

This may have been the Charity issue. They were so strapped for cash at one point, the editor asked us to donate material so the whole issue wouldn't be reprints.

Dick Kulpa, the editor-in-chief and soon to be owner, was out there hustling, doing a grass-roots campaign to raise awareness. He went to comic conventions chatting up celebrities and looking for new investors.

Cracked: A Look Backed - #362, Apr '04

3/11/2012

#362, Apr '04

Things were fading fast. Money was tight. We were losing the team of artists. The covers were getting busier and busier, tabloid style. And the behind the scenes activities that I didn't hear about until much later were more pronounced. The editor quit and was replaced by 2 guys, and they got a write up about it inside the issue!

Cracked: A Look Backed - #360, May '03

3/10/2012

#360, May '03

Notice they're now "picking the top 10 Simpson episodes." The mag started drifting into prose land. And the assissant editor was pumping out material, writing articles to be drawn up and writing prose pieces and "Letters to the Editor" articles.

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