Category: Radio - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

2021 Marion Thauer Brown Audio Drama Scriptwriting Competition

7/9/2021

It's been announced that my radio script, "Cupid is As Cupid Does" was the winner in this year's MTB Audio Drama Scriptwriting Competition, which celebrates exciting aural storytelling!

The script is an adaptation of my short story that was published in "Love and Other Distractions: An Anthology by 14 Hollywood Writers." You can pick up a copy today. All proceeds go to charity!

The story is a sequel of sorts to my film script "Lost Claus." I've been working on several episodes of a project I call "The Nick Files," where the detective character, Nick Flebber, is called in to solved other odd-ball cases. I started adapting them to radio, getting the idea from the time I took the film script and knocked it down to a 15-minute sketch for Prairie Home Companion. They didn't produce it, but I sent it around to various radio groups and it's been produced. I followed that up with an adaptation of my book "Author in the First" and then found a home with the Lakes Area Radio Theater. They have produced "Never Say Never Neverland Again," "The Leprechaun Job" and "Spoiler Alert" but I'm still waiting for them to post the shows online.

Wow, this post went off in a lot of directions at once.

Barely Home Companion - Radio Sight Gags (July 2002)

7/9/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

PHC was winding down for the 2001-02 season with their big Season Finale. I always would try to put something together that was bigger and broader to make a year-end splash. The show announced it would begin live-streaming the show on the internet and that triggered this idea, a sketch about radio sight gags.

It's something I've alluded to before, with things like "radio magicians" and such but the idea of online video made this a skit that had to be submitted. I checked my journals from this time and I was pretty distraught, trying to finish up a screenplay, trying to get a paying gig as I watched Cracked magazine start to implode. The day job was a nightmare and the family kept me busy. I noted in my notebook how I had an idea, then forgot it, then remembered it as I was writing I forgot it. I was upbeat about the idea and thought it was funny and how I had to add a mime to the end to punch it up. Again, a brief bit of silliness and sound effects that I would have bet PHC would love! I would have lost that bet. The show aired for the last time that season without me. And again, a very specific sketch that couldn't be submitted elsewhere

Radio Sight Gags

Barely Home Companion - Kettering, Ohio (June 2002)

6/25/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is one of those pieces I had totally forgotten about. PHC was on one of its road trips and was doing a show from Kettering, Ohio, which usually meant they liked to do some bits about the town they're in and it's history. I had become fond of these times because they forced me out of my box. As noted, I was running on creative fumes, submitting old material to the show. So, I did some internetting about Kettering, Ohio and wrote up a lecture about the town.

I have to say, rereading it now, it's actually pretty good. I present the facts in a goofy fashion and had fun with the topic and the man the town is named after. Naturally, I was disappointed it wasn't used, more so because there was absolutely nowhere else to send it. That was the thing with PHC, you wanted to write in its voice but that made it harder to submit rejected material elsewhere. It was something I always did with the more neutral or generic comedy sketches, but these type of things were dead in the water. Well, here it is for the first time anywhere; a celebration of Kettering, Ohio on its 50th anniversary:

Kettering, Ohio

Barely Home Companion - NPR NEWS FLASH (March 2002)

4/23/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

So, it was time to recycle some material. I've recycled this bit so many times, I've forgotten when I did it. It was a parody of local newscasts that would race to be the first ones on the scene and their live reports were pointless because they didn't know anything, because they just rushed to the scene and went on air. My favorite would be the newscopter that would hover over a scene and try to explain what was going on from hundreds of feet in the air! So I took it to the next level, where the newsvan and helicopters were actually affecting the events or they were trying to create mayhem so they could report it. I submitted it to a summer network pilot, "Where's the Party" and they used some parts. A few years I reworked it for radio. PHC had introduced some characters who did breaking news, so I adapted it to that. PHC didn't use the bit. I re-worked it again and it got picked up by one of the radio syndicators I freelanced for, and they broke it up, (as written) into a running gag. I'll attach all the versions after the PHC version. It's one of those solid bits I wrote that eventually found a home. Yay!

NPR NEWS FLASH

Barely Home Companion - NPR News (March 2002)

3/15/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is a heavily recycled bit. I had come up with a couple of sketches and pitched them as a series of black-outs for an ABC comedy pilot called "Where's the Party," a sketch-comedy-music-talk show. I honestly don't remember how the idea came about, but there were a series of sketches about a news team that was so desperate to be the first on the air that they caused the problems. It got produced in 1991. The bits got scaled back a bit (as you'll see in the video below) for budget reasons. But the radio version went all out again, as originally written. So I pulled them out and submitted it to PHC. They didn't go for it. Years later (I think 2010) I submitted to the All Star production Network and they did do two of the full sketches. I'm including them below, as well. So, again, first rule of comedy writing, Never Throw Anything Out.

NPR News

Barely Home Companion - The Hawaiian Rule (1/02)

1/5/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I've forgotten what an overhaul this sketch had gotten from my submission. The show was since on its road trip and was doing the show from Hawaii. I broke the cardinal rule of writing for PHC, doing TV references. And that little bit of the bit is simply a set up to the main part of the sketch, a SFX skit about coconuts, which I had totally forgotten about. So, Garrison actually took my premise that the FCC requires all broadcast shows to do episodes from Hawaii, and swapped out my TV references (Brady Bunch, Sanford and Son) with other dated TV references like Mr. Ed, Gomer Pyle, Ed Sullivan...and Arthur Godfrey.). Obviously, they turned it into a bit that showcased Tim Russell vocal talents. Some of my references (I Love Lucy, Elvis) got in but vastly reworked. I guess because of that, I got no on air or online credit for the bit. But the SFX half is a pretty good, silly premise with the usual type of SFX antics. Sorry that didn't make it in.

The full show ishere. I put the broadcast version of the sketch below.

The Hawaiian Rule

Barely Home Companion - Taliban 12/22/01

12/22/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Meanwhile, back at life in post 9/11...With the hunt on for Osama Bin Laden after the terrorist attacks, there were lots of reports of where he was alleged to be. And he kept releasing videos. And kept declaring one jihad after another, to keep his base energized. And that's where the idea for this sketch came from, that he's in the cave reduced to declaring jihads on every little annoyance. Seemed like a classic sketch premise.

Now what they did to it was use the premise, use the gags, reorder them, reword them and then have it wander off into some weird winter wonderland bit. And for that, the credit reads:

© Garrison Keillor 2001, additional material by Dan Fiorella

I often joked that Garrison Keillor was exactly the kind of guy the WGA was created to fight. As I've said before, GK was pretty random with credits and here is the strongest display of his randomness. It's obviously my work, tinkered with. I am hardly the "additional material," he is. Hey, yeah, it's been a long time, but if I just silently accept it, the terrorists win. But as some outsider, I was grateful to be reminded that they were still reading my submissions and seeing stuff good enough to use. And pay for. Here's my version of the skit followed by the broadcast version that PHC archived here.

Bin Laden, Done That

Barely Home Companion - Being North Dakota (Dec. 2001)

12/15/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Here's one of those times it sucks to be a stringer. They were doing another road show. So I did some research and one of the news items for North Dakota back in 2001 was an effort to re-name the state. That sounded like a solid premise for a sketch. So I wrote it up and submitted it. And they used it. Or rather, re-purposed it. A truncated version of the bit winds up in that week's Guy Noir adventure, as the premise to kick off his latest case. Just mentioning the idea of renaming the state got a huge laugh. After that, they just run through the gag names without much commitment and then they go off on a lot bit about a finished basement and accents. But, the check cleared, and I picked up shared credit on the skit:

© Garrison Keillor, Dan Fiorella 2001

So, here's the original skit and an edited recording the broadcast version of my material below. The link to the full bit on the PHC site is here.

Being North Dakota

Barely Home Companion - A Charlie Brown Mid-Life Christmas (12/01)

12/13/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This was a strange run for me. They used some of my writing during the month of December, but never quite in the context I wrote it. I had this piece called A Charlie Brown Mid-Life Christmas which I adapted for radio and submitted. Granted, it faced the hurdle of being too TV, but, it's Peanuts, for heaven's sake and a classic Christmas special. Anyway, they lifted one line from my piece and used it in one of his Barry Minot sketches, a running bit he did that sounded like many of the other running bits he did. I got an "Additional material" credit for my efforts:

© Garrison Keillor 2001, additional material by Dan Fiorella

I posted my version of the sketch a couple of Christmases ago (the link is above) as a "Skit Happens" entry. The broadcast version is below, with the PHC page here. They saved my line for the big ending.

Sketchy Tales: Christmas Edition - Do You Know the Way to Santa Claus? (12/00)

12/22/2019

This was the first thing I sold to ACN radio. Granted, it was massively rewritten, but the idea of substituting "Santa Claus" for "San Jose" was totally mine. For the season, I pulled out the original parody lyrics, then I'm pasting the produced version below. I liked my version a lot, even working it into one of my screenplays.

Do You Know the Way to Santa Claus
by Dan Fiorella
(sung to the tune of "Do You Know the Way to San Jose?")

Do you know the way to Santa Claus?
I've been away so long, my life's gone wrong, I need a pause.
Do you know the way to Santa Claus?
I'm going back to find some peace on earth with Santa Claus.

Noel is a great big season.
Spend a hundred now, and spend some more.
In a week, maybe two, you're back in the store.
Changing gifts and stuff back into cash.
And all the toys you treasured so
Are broken now and in the trash.

I need to believe in Santa Claus.
He's got a lot to give, not just to kids, but to us all.
I was born and raised on Santa Claus.
I'm going back to find some jingle time with Santa Claus.

The North Pole should be a magnet.
It's the place where Christmas spirit reigns.
Free of greed and the deeds that drive you insane.
Santa is the man who shows the way;
With peace on earth, good will toward man
and that's the point of Christmas day.

We've all got a friend in Santa Claus.
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooo.
Do you know the ways of Santa Claus?
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooo.
Can't wait to get back to Santa Claus!
Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooo.

comedy, writer, Dan Fiorella, Daniel fiorella, screenplay, sketches,radio,computer games, television writer