Category: Barely Home Companion - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - Leonard’s Extra Loud Fireworks for the Deaf (Jun. '07)

7/3/2026

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Don't remember this one, but it is totally something I would write. It was the last show of the season and July 4th was just around the corner, which means people had been shooting off fireworks since mid-March. A ridiculous product made to solve a ridiculous problem. And maybe the old SNL "News for the Hard of Hearing" was an inspiration. And I liked the idea of pushing fireworks on radio. I thought it was fun. I was alone in the PHC universe to think that. As the season ended, I knew I hadn't had a piece produced in 2 years and frankly, I was starting to lose hope. But come September, I did begin submitting material again because I'm just that dense.

Leonard’s Extra Loud Fireworks for the Deaf

Barely Home Companion - Summer Blockbuster 2007 (Jun. '07)

6/26/2026

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Yeah, re-reading this sketch, there was no way it was ever going to be picked. As the show would head toward its summer break, I would always submit a season finale-type sketch, talking about summer plans, bogus cliffhangers, or summer blockbusters. But this thing is just a wordle meets Mad libs. I essentially tried to come up with the longest daisy chain of a movie title I could. And then another one. And one more for good measure. GK hated pop culture stuff (mostly) but these movie titles were all over the place. It was a commercial parody outside the "later on public radio" framework. But I kind of like it. Word play, non sequitur dialogue, mocking Hollywood's pandering instincts, it all comes together for a decent parody and radio bit. Oh, well. Nineteen years later, we present:

Summer Blockbuster 2007

Barely Home Companion - Celebrity Spelling Bee (Jun. '07)

6/19/2026

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Okay, this is one of those sketches I forgot I wrote 20 years ago. It was a goof on the slew of celebrity game shows that were then popping up on TV, especially as the summer approached. Very straight forward, attempting to use the cast's abilities to mimic celebrity voices, and very inspired by the Celebrity Jeopardy sketches on SNL. Maybe that's why there are only 3 spellers. I'm looking at it and it seems short, like I could have tossed in a few more people in there to do impressions of. So, 2007. I go to google a picture to include on the blog and what to I stumble upon? Actual shows called Celebrity Spelling Bee. See, GK? This could have been you! You could have done it FIRST!!! But did you? Nooooooo. Man, I even have a Trump reference and portray him in 2007 as a jerk. Maybe, GK, if you had done this sketch, we could have shamed him from the public spotlight and saved ourselves a LOT of grief. That's on you GK. I blame you.

Celebrity Spelling Bee

Barely Home Companion - On the Page (Jun. '07)

6/12/2026

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Well, here's a silly bit I had totally forgotten about mocking the reality show craze. It's a pretty good late-career submission to PHC. I think what triggered the sketch was a show that was going to be about picking a director to make a film...wash it Project Greenlight? or some such thing. Anyway, they went on and on about directors and I decided to go with a real WGA-twist to create the most boring really show ever; watching writers write. On radio! The SFX of typewriters makes me chuckle as I reread it. Maybe I can do this as an AI bit, just lose the celebrity judges...

On the Page

Barely Home Companion - Off-shore Trans-Fat Restaurants (Jun. '07)

6/5/2026

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Back in 2007, (as I explain in the bit) the mayor of NYC was on a real health kick, attacking Big Gulps and transfats, and making laws against them. Now, how does one get around laws? By going into international waters, of course. I really liked this sketch and tried to work it into something. I did rework it to present to PHC, but they didn't go for it. Even with a pretty decent Mark Twain joke. And now that transfats are practically on the food pyramid, it doesn't seem like something to get back to...maybe food dyes? I dunno. Anyway, here's the bit as GK read it...

Off-shore Trans-Fat Restaurants

Barely Home Companion - Oh, Diploma! (Apr. '07)

4/24/2026

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Yeah, it's been a while since my last PHC entry. I submitted my last bit to them at Christmas 2006, then nothing until April. And late April, at that. My memories of my time with PHC actually ended in 2005. I was surprised I had as many later submissions as I did. And no recollection as to why I resumed attempting to send PHC my material. I know for a fact nothing else got picked. There was no feedback. I even went through a time where a book publisher contacted me about a book I wrote but only if I could get GK to mention on air. I asked GK and never got a response. I didn't submit again until June, for the end of the season. I did resume in sending material in for the 2007-08 season, but more infrequently. I even have a couple of things into 2008. But we were winding down now.

As for the piece itself; One spring I got to talking with someone and graduation was coming up and for some reason we decided that there weren't any good graduation songs to celebrate with. And that bothered me. So much so, that I ended up writing two songs. Of course, they were parodies. The first was "My Diploma," a take on "My Chironna" with actually got produced by American Comedy Network. The second was this. PHC didn't use it. I did a pretty slick screenplay (Faking Reality) that got optioned about some high school seniors, so I worked a scene into that and used the song there. That is still in limbo. Thanks to the wonders of AI, I created a slick-sounding but totally non-parody version of the song, which I embedded below.

Oh, Diploma!

Barely Home Companion - Celebrity Scrooges (Dec. '06)

12/24/2025

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I really don't remember much about this sketch or the circumstances around it. It looks like I was submitting a trio of Christmas bits to them this week. My records show they were all written the same week. I have no memory of doing three at once. Maybe I did a them for the few weeks in December 2006 and mislabeled them. But then looking at the other sketches in the file, I'm about to stop submitting for 4 months. My next submission isn't until April 2007. I must have had my fill at this point.

But the sketch itself is obviously me trying to recapture my "Celebrity Hawaiians" bit, just letting the troupe go through all their favorite impressions. It's a premised they used a lot on the show, just quick one-liners from various celebs. I thought I geared it toward the show's strengths and it was a holiday bit, but it didn't make the cut. Re-reading it now, it's pretty good, says I. Silly, with some clever lines and good contrasts between actor and dialouge.

Celebrity Scrooges

Barely Home Companion - Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa (Dec. '06)

12/19/2025

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

When all else fails, do a song parody. I'll admit, this thing had been knocking around inside my brain for a while and with the holidays approaching and needing a submission to submit, I finally put pen to scale and wrote it. Song parodies were tricky. They didn't often do them, as I remember, but I did manage to get one chosen for an earlier Christmastime show. Naturally, there are other holidays kicking around, so why not try to create a song for them? It didn't get selected, probably because I kept spelling it with one "a." But now, thanks to AI, I can create a tune for it that is no "Quando, Quando, Quando" (I'm assuming because I haven't created it yet but will post it here when I do).

Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa

Barely Home Companion - It's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas (Dec. '06)

12/12/2025

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Actually, submitting this song parody in December would be late these days. Back then, this was the verge of all the radio stations starting to go to all-Christmas all-the-time mid-November. Still something that bugs me. Need to start working on Thanksgiving songs. Oh, and I ran the lyrics through AI and it spit out a version of the song, which is posted below, so now it exists somewhere...

It's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas

Barely Home Companion - Abbott & Costello Meet Scrooge (Dec. '06)

12/5/2025

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Obviously, December rolled around and I must have felt compelled to do my first Christmas sketch. As I often did with PHC, I circled back to Abbott and Costello. I mean, is it a good idea? Maybe. But that I went right with a "Who's on First" parody about the names of the three ghosts to mimic the names of the three ball players seems weak. But it goes fast and I'm sure it would gets some laughs. I worked it into one of GK's patented "Tonight on most public radio stations" set-ups, and I assumed it stood a chance, but it got passed over, much like the other holiday.

Abbott & Costello Meet Scrooge

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