All Categories - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Hashtag, You're It! - Future Fear Football

9/12/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

A nice spring back for me. From barely getting any last week, I'm back to my average amount this week. Ironic, because I'm not a football guy. I had to look up a list of all the pro teams and still had to figure out why the NY Jets weren't listed. I had to got to the NFL site for a full list. Once there, the idea of Future Fears kinda fell into place. There were a lot of clever ones (and a few clunkers) posted. But here's the link to the ones WH picked:

#FutureFearFootball

All the News Fit to Fake- WWN: Dear Dottie 9/10/02

9/11/2024

Back in the aughts, Cracked magazine was owned by the same company as the Weekly World News. During the rocky final years of Cracked, our editor, in an attempt to give the writers a pay check, had us contribute articles to WWN ("the humor magazine that nobody knows is a humor magazine.") It took me a while to get the hang of the paper but first the editor suggested I do the "Letter and Answer" format for their Dear Abby-style advice column, except that their "expert," Dottie, was a bitch. I struggled with the format, kinda of recycling various jokes and bits I had over the years into a letter format with a snotty answer.

Oh, I had forgotten; once a month or so, the paper wanted a double-dose of Dottie. I'll be honest, I never truly got my rhythm with these columns and it was a real job working them up, both letter and responses. Improve your aim was a punchline rolling around in my head for years. My feeling toward SUVs are here. Oh, wow, my pimple joke is here. I had forgotten over the years I had assembled a supply of jokes that I was never going to go onstage and tell. I thought they were good, and very much in this awkward character I thought I had, but I never had the nerve. I repurposed them for the column. The Laff Riot letter was about an annoying co-worker I had. And the political letter was certainly catching a vibe.

Barely Home Companion - Real Estate-etics (Sept '05)

9/6/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I really don't remember too much about this piece. I looked up some stuff and apparently there was this Asia shyster, Tommy Vu, who was pumping out these "how to get rich" videos about getting rich with real estate. And there were all the weigh-loss, exercise videos and informercials out as well. And I combined them into this slightly racist parody. There probably wasn't much here that would tickle GK's fancy, but some weeks, the muses come slowly.

Real Estate-etics

Talking Horse Productions: A Guy's Monologue

9/5/2024

My monologue, A Guy's Monologue, was selected by Talking Horse Productions for their annual fund-raising drive. Each day for the month of September, they post the video of a monologue produced for Talking Horse. And you get to vote for your favorite (mine) by donating on the included link. I hope you can check out my work and "vote" for me! Thanks!

Hashtag, You're It! - Psycho Sitcoms

9/5/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

We'll file this week's game under "ouch." I only got one item out of a dozen selected! I'm a little annoyed by this. I really liked doing this one. I'll admit, to try to stand out from the crowd, I did a search of sitcoms from the 50s and 60s. To quote a friend who decided to pipe in, "Obscure much?" Oh well. Maybe next week.

Hashtag, You're It! - Medical Metal Bands

8/29/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

I was around for this week's game. I'm starting to wonder about this. My favorite (AC/IV) wasn't chosen. I saw some others that were really good and didn't get selected. Not sure who's judging it these days, but I am not always happy with their choices. And the matrix pulled up metal bands again as the baseline. And, face it, most people only know a couple of metal bands, really. So, we're all bumping up against the same half-dozen names to parody. In that sense it can get a little repetitious. And WH usually grabs the obvious ones and we have to work a bit to create something unique. Anyway, that's how I see it.

#MedicalMetalBands

Hashtag, You're It! - Patriotic Pop Bands

8/28/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

All right, not that anyone's paying attention, but I've been offline for a week or so. Plus WH is playing around with links and their site, where I can't even get in to see posts they do until a few days later. Very odd. Any, the last game I actually got involved in was this. Did the usual, looking up a list of "nursey rhymes" and there's a surprising number of them. And a lot of little songs and says I've heard of actually started as nursey rhymes. So these games are educational! I only got 3 in, but there's some fun things here.

#NerdyNurseryRhymes

All the News Fit to Fake- WWN: Dear Dottie 8/27/02

8/28/2024

Back in the aughts, Cracked magazine was owned by the same company as the Weekly World News. During the rocky final years of Cracked, our editor, in an attempt to give the writers a pay check, had us contribute articles to WWN ("the humor magazine that nobody knows is a humor magazine.") It took me a while to get the hang of the paper but first the editor suggested I do the "Letter and Answer" format for their Dear Abby-style advice column, except that their "expert," Dottie, was a bitch. I struggled with the format, kinda of recycling various jokes and bits I had over the years into a letter format with a snotty answer.

Tangent: Years after I worked on the WWN, I was talking to my friends college-age son. I happened to mention that I wrote for WWN and the kid's eyes popped out. He didn't know I was a writer, so he certainly had no idea I wrote for the WWN. But he was actually impressed. Back when he in was in college, the 2000's, the magazine was a big read on campus. They loved it. So, for a brief, shiny moment I had some cred.

Man, a lot of old bits of mine in this one. Tattoo confidential, from a script. The cell phone guy is a sequel to my turning signal guy and their fight against "the man." The last letter I copped from a PHC ketchup sketch I wrote. The communion one is pretty much how we feel about those A&E-style First Holy Communion parties we see every year. I kind of liked the confidentials, they were like a prose version of a Bob Newhart bit. You can to do the set-up and punchline together, wording it just right to figure out what the letter was about.

All the News Fit to Fake: WWN: Dear Dottie 8/20/02

8/21/2024

Back in the aughts, Cracked magazine was owned by the same company as the Weekly World News. During the rocky final years of Cracked, our editor, in an attempt to give the writers a pay check, had us contribute articles to WWN ("the humor magazine that nobody knows is a humor magazine.") It took me a while to get the hang of the paper but first the editor suggested I do the "Letter and Answer" format for their Dear Abby-style advice column, except that their "expert," Dottie, was a bitch. I struggled with the format, kinda of recycling various jokes and bits I had over the years into a letter format with a snotty answer.

All these letters were various bits knocking around my head. The airline one was something that had been in the news. The turn signal one was from an article I wrote for the Staten Island Advance. The confidentials are lifted from some radio skits I wrote. Why the heck would a TV exec write to Dear Dotti? Because he needed to be mocked!

Hashtag, You're It! - Pitiful Pixar Movies

8/10/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

This week's game was weirdly specific. I mean they've done Disney movies before and different genres, but Pixar? I guess that means they've arrived with enough movies to mock. I pulled up the list of their movies and worked by way down, creating my usual dozen. I got 4 picked. There were a fair number of submissions, but WH is getting picky. The weekly list seems lighter and weighted down with their in-house creations. See for yourself as we list:

#PitifulPixarMovies

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