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Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - George Xmas (Dec '04)

12/8/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Before Trump got "elected," it was pretty much agreed that Bush 2 was the worse president (the fact that Trump hates George W. makes us pretty sure Trump knows this, too). George was an easy target and PHC had "him" on multiple times over the years. In fact, my last produced sketch was a Bush bit earlier in 2004). So, with Christmas coming and the Great Recession in full swing, it was time to combine the two for this sketch. Didn't make it, even though it would have killed in NYC.

George Xmas

#Hashtag, You're It! - Sick Seasonal Songs

12/6/2023

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Time for holdiay parodies and this was was a little disconcerting. I am about to submit an article to WH, my No-well bit, so this hashtag is cutting a bit too close to that. I'm sure they'll forget all about it when I submit it next week. I popped out a couple of these quickly, but then had to pull up a list of the top holiday songs and the most popular diseases. And again, I thought I read over the WH entries to the hashtag, but wound up duping a couple of ones I should have seen as obvious. But with well over a dozen entries, I got 7 included in the webpage. Check it out!

#SickSeasonalSongs

Barely Home Companion - Rockefeller Center (Nov '04)

12/1/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

PHC's annual holiday stay in the city of New York was always bittersweet to me. I knew I could right hometown-centric pieces but I also knew there would be no acknowledgment that the show was in my hometown. No invite to see the show. No free passes. No chance to meet the cast I had written material for. My opportunities were dwindling here and even if I had a sudden burst of creative energy, there was little chance it would make a difference. Communication was a one-way street. I submitted things by emailing them into a void. No responses ever. Not even to direct questions.

Going into (what would be my final Christmas season with the show) reminds me of an incident that happed a few years earlier. I had a small publisher once interested in my manuscript Lost Claus. Spoke to him on the phone. He liked the book. But he liked the idea that I worked on PHC. Would GK have me on the show to talk about the book. And silly mean gave him an honest answer, "No." I mention how little interaction I had with the staff at PHC. I mean, I once asked him about hosting or presenting at the Writers Guild Award show and got no response. I was blunt with the publisher about my experience with PHC. And I never heard from that publisher again. Granted the only reason he contacted me was to try and use me to get on PHC, so when that wasn't an option, I was useless to him.

Anyway, the holidays were here. The show was here, so I went with a silly joke about the Christmas tree and the Ronco Clapper. It's a fine little black-out bit, even if it was trying to do a sight gag on the radio. They passed.

Rockefeller Center

#Hashtag, You're It! - Harmful Holiday Movies

11/30/2023

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Again, they say "name a holiday movie" and they only two that rattle around are "White Christmas" and "It's a Wonderful Life." I mean, I've seen pretty much every Christmas movie, but kept blanking. So, I pulled up a list of the "top 100" holiday movies on IMDB (and I have to say there are some questionable choices there) along with the synonyms for "harmful" and that greased the wheels enough that I came up with 16 or so entries and 7 made the cut. Check them out for a good (if worrisome) laugh over at Weekly Humorist.

#HarmfulHolidayMovies

Barely Home Companion - ALLE-CAT (Nov '04)

11/24/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Another brief commercials parody. My writing style was getting tighter and briefer. It was a pun off a song title and that's about it. I was losing the ability to flesh out anything much. It wouldn't be until I started writing for TMI:Hollywood years later that I'd really stretch my sketch chops to get back to 5-minute or more skits. PHC passed on it, as did my other outlets. I'm not even sure I'd be able to create a sketch like this, mocking spinsters or engineered cats. Oh, well. We'll see if anyone notices it here.

ALLE-CAT

Leave it to the Prose: Thanksgiving Internationale By Chef Louis

11/23/2023

Bon jour, America! We here at the kitchens of Chez Chaz have discussed this many, many times and we had decided it is time. Time to save Thanksgiving from you Americans. The holiday fare is so Americanized. Yes, yes, it is true; turkey, stuffing, apple cider. It is stale, it is stodgy. You Americans, it would kill you to broaden your horizons? My staff and I have been working very hard to introduce a special Thanksgiving menu which we will be serving this year. What we have done is no less than remarkable. We have turned Thanksgiving into a gastronomic event! Read all about it here!

Barely Home Companion - Pirate Patch (Nov '04)

11/17/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

A quick little commercial pun, from back in the day when Big Pharma was pushing patches for everything as a drug delivery system to work to fight smoking, pain, addiction, hunger. It didn't get picked and it's really not long enough to fuss over, so we'll just strand it here now, matey...

Pirate Patch

#Hashtag, You're It! - Icy Sci-Fi

11/16/2023

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

I had to scramble a bit with sci-fi movies. You get overwhelmed trying to remember something so basic, yet so numerous and you go blank. So I looked up the top 100 sci-fi movies, then another list of 1950's movies. I even looked up synonyms for icy, but pretty much fell on the word "ice" for everything. I did around 14 and got 8 included in the final listings, so, a good showing. But many of the list items were Weekly Humorists own tweets and many simply didn't even bother with sci-fi movie titles. Sure, Frigid Jones Diary is a gimme, but not a sci-fi film, so I didn't include it. Anyway, let's check out some...

The Nick Files: Spell Check

11/15/2023

The Florida Radio Project began its new season just in time for the World Series. And as part of the line-up, they produced my Nick Files script; Spell Check. It's the prefect blend of autumn, baseball and witchcraft! After performing it live before a studio audience, they posted the audio at Soundcloud, so I hope you can take some time out to give it a listen. It's a home run!

The Radio Theatre Project · The Nick Files Spell Check Written by Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - Rent-a-Mob (Nov '04)

11/10/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is for November, but it sure was inspired by Halloween and watching horror movies. What if you could harass the power of the angry mob for good instead of mobbery? That's what I thought I would explore in this sketch. It didn't pass muster. Or Munsters, for that matter.

Rent a Mob

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