Well, it's the end of the year, which means the gang at my old job is out looking for donations. The conservative news parody web series, Newsbusted, is looking for donations to stay in business for another year. Because, you know, that's how the free market works. I know things are tough because they're forced to reuse the punchlines they were using when I was there. It's gotten so tough, now every joke has to end with the tag "Obamacare."
Well, they missed the opportunity to use some jokes again this week:
There was a lot of negative reaction to President Obama’s 2012 State of the Union Address, or as FOX was
calling it, “President Obama’s Last State of the Union Address.”
Facing bankruptcy, the U.S. Postal Service is planning to close more than half of its 500 mail processing centers which would slow first-class mail delivery. At least that’s what someone tweeted me.
Just before Thanksgiving, PETA issued a demand that the city of Turkey, Texas, to change its name to 'Tofurky' for Thanksgiving. Because they have just that much time on their hands...
ABC News reported that Pakistanis are complaining about CIA drone attacks against terrorists inside Pakistan...because it’s killing repeat business.
The jokes that didn't make the cut last week:
After 72 days of matrimony, Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from husband Kris Humphries…
…apparently she didn’t want to be demoted from “Kardashian” to “Basketball Wife.”
…poor Bruce Jenner. He went and got that facelift for nothing.
…72 days. That’s barely enough time to get a sex tape made.
…no word yet on who gets custody of the Twitter account.
This are the jokes that didn't make it through the transom at Newsbusters.org:
The New York Post reported that the number of shootings in New York City have increased 154% since the beginning of the Occupy Wall Street protests because police are pulling their resources out of high priority areas to patrol the protests. In related news, the consumption of soy, quiche and hemp products has increased 1025% since the beginning of Occupy Wall Street---
In a bedside interview, the Lockerbie Bomber claimed that his role in the airplane bombing was “exaggerated.” Much like his cancer diagnosis.
Presidential candidate Rep. Ron Paul, is calling to impeach President Obama over his to decision to kill terrorist Anwar Al Awlaki. He says it’s because Al Awlaki was an American, born in New Mexico. Which actually makes him Al Queda’s first anchor baby.
Freelance writer, still hacking away.