As AI makes its presence felt in our daily lives, I decided it was time for AI to explain itself.  So, I asked it to, like it was a grade school assembly or Miss America contest.  I hope you enjoy its reply:

I wrote this one up, a topical bit, but my usual places passed on it.  I had a joke in my head, "Oh, it's that time when we have to pretend to care about soccer."  Then the word "feign" (which I originally pronounced as "faint
than "fein") popped into my head and the soccer organization, FAFI, and the whole thing came together.  So now, with the whole World Cup thing gearing up at last, I wanted to get this piece up, so, I present my snarky attitude towards soccer: 

Write what you know, they say.  Well, this is one of those things.  I had to have a Cardiac Catheterization in an effort to insert a couple of stents into my arteries.  This was a while ago and everything went fine and the recovery was 100% and feeling very much better.  But like any other thing medical, some weird thoughts run through your mind.  Plus, there was always jokes about things you don't want to hear your surgeon say, like "Whoops" or "That's going to leave a mark."  So it was that premise just with a medical speciality.  I think the bit grew out of the line "My left or his left?" I wrote it a while ago, I submitted it, got no response and just kind of forgot about it, until I was rummaging through some old files on the hard drive.   Re-reading it, I may be taking too much for granted on people's knowledge of cardiac catheterizations.  The basis is they run a fiber optic line from your right wrist to your heart.  It's got a camera and some grabby things where they can remove some plaque, insert the stent or, (God forbid) see that things are worse than they thought and withdraw and prepare the patient for by-pass surgery.  Years ago they actually made the incision in your groin area and ran the line up from there.  And they prep the groin area in case the wrist path doesn't work (the closing line).  I guess that brings everyone up to day.  So, some humor from my golden years here is: 

 This was a disappointing one.  I cracked wise on Twitter and got banned for a couple of days.  When I got back on, I attempted to retweet and edited version of my original but I didn't fool them.  I got banned again.  Naturally, I decided to write it up as a prose piece.  It came out as one of my "Live Tweeting" bits that I've done both on The Big Jewel and Weekly Humorist.  But none of my usual outlets would bite.  The whole situation really irked me and I was ticked off about not being able to vent about it so I forgot that I wrote the piece until I came across the old email I sent to myself back in September 2025.  Which works out I guess, since revenge is a dish best served cold.  I present my humorous version about getting banned on Twitter:

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This just a odd situation for me.  I wrote this piece up when the last Downton Abbey movie came out.  I've watched the series (more than once), and each movie.  It's a good show and I enjoyed it but it's so easy to goof on.  And that's what I decided to do.  It's a premise I've done before, trying to image how they could keep the cash cow alive with sequels and prequels and spin-off.  I just needed a bunch of Downton Abbey puns and I was off to the races.  I submitted to Weekly Humorist and was told it was accepted.  Then they never used it.  Frankly, I had forgotten about it until I was going through my spreadsheets for another reason.  

It's time has passed, so that was no sense in submitting it elsewhere.  It's a funny bit, with the WH stamp of approval, but left hanging.  Well, hang no more, Downton Abbey piece, and welcome to my blog...

This is a weird bit for me.  So weird, it was rejected by my usual sites.  I'll admit to being a fan of the quirky SNL troupe member Jane Wickline.  She seems like she's from outside the usual SNL mold and I can't quite put my finger on what pulls me in.  So, thinking on it, I decided to write it up.  And, full disclosure, a lot of if came to me in that semi-dream state as you're between sleep and waking, my little Neverland of comedy.  Granted, a lot of ideas come to me in that twilight time, but I actually remembered the stuff that came to me this time and wrote it down and emailed it to myself.  It started with the a couple of thoughts I've been knocking around, I added some absurd bits of non sequiturs and finally, brought the bit together by adding the stalker backstory.  It's like writer John Bono, who wrote about his time at National Lampoon, you have the main drive of the story, but what makes the piece work is some sort of running gag or subplot that anchors the material.  It was something I also learned from Olympia Dukakis from my time at Style Without Substance.  And it feeds in nicely to my SNL Fetish.

I worked on it and sent it out, but (as I suspected) it didn't click with those places, so here we are, on my blog.  I hope you get a chuckle out of it.

So, I got roped into watching WWE Smackdown by my grandson.  As we discussed the matches via Facetime, I was goofing on the various types of matches I saw, ladder matches, steel cage matches, brawls, free-for-alls and whatnot.  That got me to thinking about all the money the WWE is leaving on the table (match) by not broadening their reach and coming up with new types of dangerous bouts.  I wrote up some notes on the subject and submitted them to Weekly Humorist and they published it on their site.  I always enjoy getting something new up.  So, let's get ready to chuckle, and check it out!

As the winter games wrap up, I had some thoughts I wanted to put down...

I’ve watched the Olympics over the years, and I may be missing something here.  Take the summer Olympics.  It was a competition between nations, originally.  Like war.  So, the original Greeks just turned what they did during war and turned it into a sport; throwing spears, hurling rocks, riding horses, running away, swimming from sinking ships.  It’s the winter Olympics where I lose the thread.  I mean, I understand something like the biathlon being based on Scandinavian fighting techniques but the rest of it looks like a series of bar bets and dares.

Take ice skating; sure, people think it’s the winter version of track and field, but think about the basic premise.  Two guys are looking at a village on the other side of a frozen lake.  The ice is slippery, so walking across it could be dangerous.  Naturally, one guy says, “Hey, instead of trying to walk across the ice, why don’t we strap knives to our shoes?”  And you know the second guy was drunk when he said, “Sure!” 

Even if you think of skating as a way to get around in winter time, who was the first person to think, “how about we start jumping around while we’re on the ice?”

“Oh, and maybe spin in circles?”

“Totally!”

And don’t get me started about the first guys who stood at the top of a mountain and figured the best way down was to tie planks to their feet and slide down.

Worse, the skeleton.  I used to ride a sled down the hill when it snowed but this sport seems to have taken all the wrong lessons from it.  And the name they came up for the sled is “skeleton”?  What’s that all about?  You know a bunch of Vikings were pillaging a village on top of a snowy hill and decided they had to get down and back to the boats fast, so they ripped the skeletons out of the bodies of their victims and rode those down.  It’s the only logical reason if you think about it.

And curling.  Yeah, we’re all watching curling ironically and it seems like the kind of sport you could play while downing a can of beer but answer me this: if curling is a winter Olympic sport, why isn’t shuffleboard or bocci ball a summer Olympic sport?  The winter Olympics need curling because there are only so many variations on winter sports.  You slide on something, we get it.  It’s winter, so you’ve immediately ruled out any water sports because the water is frozen.  And, frankly, most of the sports are mostly dependent on gravity as opposed to skill.  Do they involve some skill?  Maybe, like when you learn how to turn into a skid on an icy road.

In the end, I suppose we should enjoy these winter games because once climate change eliminates winter, we’ll miss them.  Probably.

                                                                            end

After signing a bill allowing schools to resume offering whole milk in schools, President Trump went on to explain that “whole milk” is a legal definition.  And that it's spelled with a 'W’.  It seems this isn’t the first time this issue has come up:


“Whole Lotta Love”- the Led Zeppelin song famously not about holes.

“(He’s Got) The Whole World in His Hands”- in addition to noting which spelling of “whole” it was, it had to be noted the hands weren’t Trump’s…because they’re so small.

“Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off”- a classic from the American songbook, this Gershwin song was not about cancelling a construction project, despite how much Trump claimed it was.

“When You’re Smiling (The Whole World Smiles with You)”-Honestly, he thought the song was about one of those toothless hobos so it’s assumed it’s not just the word “whole” he’s misunderstanding.

“Whole Lotta Shakin’ Going On”- to be fair, he often confuses this Jerry Lee Lewis song with a stripper, Lotta Hole, who he knew in Atlantic City.

“A Whole New World”- not only was it necessary to explain the spelling of the title of this song from “Aladdin,” but he had to be told he didn’t negotiate a peace treaty between Agrabah and Ababwa.

Weirdly, he keeps calling the movie “Holes” “Wholes.”

                                                                                  The End

Watching the History Channel and its quirky historical documentary series certainly opens you eyes.  You learn so much, like were the Slinky came from, how M&Ms were invented and who made Cheetos famous? Usually the answer is WW II.  They did a whole episode on the creation of mass produced bread and how to make it more available to the public and easier to consume.  It was all about the race to sell sliced bread. 

Seeing it got me top thinking about how they might have approached such an endeavor. I wrote my take on the event several months ago and sent it around.  Then it sat on my hard drive until today.  Because today, July 7, back in 1928 was the date slice bread was first sold to the world!  So let's take a look at the diary of the man who made sliced bread his quest: