| Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large |
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From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
So, it was time to recycle some material. I've recycled this bit so many times, I've forgotten when I did it. It was a parody of local newscasts that would race to be the first ones on the scene and their live reports were pointless because they didn't know anything, because they just rushed to the scene and went on air. My favorite would be the newscopter that would hover over a scene and try to explain what was going on from hundreds of feet in the air! So I took it to the next level, where the newsvan and helicopters were actually affecting the events or they were trying to create mayhem so they could report it. I submitted it to a summer network pilot, "Where's the Party" and they used some parts. A few years I reworked it for radio. PHC had introduced some characters who did breaking news, so I adapted it to that. PHC didn't use the bit. I re-worked it again and it got picked up by one of the radio syndicators I freelanced for, and they broke it up, (as written) into a running gag. I'll attach all the versions after the PHC version. It's one of those solid bits I wrote that eventually found a home. Yay!
NPR NEWS FLASH I had a pretty solid week last week with a joke or two every night! Some rewording, some slight twisting or expansion, but a lot used. And a lot of premises used, too. A hat tip to the gang especially; I submitted a joke about the QAnon Congresswoman Greene challenging congresswoman AOC to a debate. I had made the joke, "I expected her to challenge AOC to an arm wrestling match." TMI picked up the straight line and reworked it to "Wouldn't challenging her to a duel be more on brand?" Which is the prefect punchline for that set-up and those characters. I'm proud that I'm able to more and more remove myself from the political arena and get back to some pop culture jokes, which don't get used much but I was worried about my ability to come up with jokes post-Trump. And I've managed to channel a lot of that disgust toward many others in the GOP, so I'll be flexing that muscle for a while. The group is taking off next week, although I'm still waiting to hear if they will be producing the monologues for the week. Anyway, just to remind everyone, TMI: Daily is on the TMI: Hollywood Facebook Page weeknights at 6pm on (Hollywood time), if you want to see the jokes that got away. And here's my contributions for last week:
PHC was still in NYC for the month of April, so I would naturally try to gear my material with my hometown in mind, and slip in my mention of the Staten Island ferry. I used to read that National Lampoon made it a point to adjust the parody to the medium it was going to be in; so they wouldn't do a TV satire like MAD magazine, they would do a TV satire like resembled printed matter; a press kit, a diary. or studio notes on a script. Same with the "commercial parodies." They would format ad parodies as magazine ads, mimicking the style of typical magazine ads. SNL took it to the next, logical step-went doing commercial parodies they would try to imitate the style of the video ads on TV. Sure, they started out in the 70s as in-studio announcer style (Bass-O-matic) but moved quickly into filmed bits (Little Chocolate Donuts) because that was the style boomers were used to. Over time, they commercials became almost solely pre-filmed bits, again, following the more elaborate style of the 80s and beyond, to the point now that companies are paying them to parody them. This was never the case with PHC. Sure, GK would often segue into a bit by announcing "this portion of the show is brought to you by..." and announcing something (Duct Tape, Ketchup) but it would simply be a PHC-style low-key verbal bit. Even my first skit for PHC (Abbott & Othello) was set up as a "later tonight on Public Radio" preview commercial. In NYC, Circle Line cruises are a tourist institution. We see the boats in the harbor all day long. So, naturally I wondered, what if you took it to the next level? Cruises to nowhere were becoming popular at the time, so I decided to combine the concepts. I like the way it turned out. Short, sweet, absurd and, I thought, written very much in the PHC style. But no, they didn't use it. And since that ship as sailed, let's present it here: Endless Circle Cruise
 A lot of venting this week. It was a strong start to the week, with 2 jokes and one set up. The spring break was used as-is. The COVID vaccination joke, well, after telling us to cut down on the Trump jokes, they took my line "don't want the rich catching COVID from the landscapers" and turned it into a Trump joke. I wrote a joke about Putin being selected the sexiest man alive and after coming up with 2 punchlines where I was desperate to avoid a "falling out of a window" gag, they went with a "falling out of a window" gag. Then Thursday...Thursday. I wrote a "Masked Singer" joke. While I wrote they were changing the name to "The Double-Masked Singer" it got changed it to this "cast doesn't have to worry, since they are all masked." To me, that was the obvious line, and one I feel we've used before. Something about a furry convention, I think. Anyway I wanted to avoid that, so I thought I'd reference the recent issue of "double masking." They reworded the Pence book joke. Then the MacGyver joke. I mean, I wrote that the show was going to be cancelled unless he could get a paper clip, double A batteries and a roll of aluminum foil. For some reason they decided they had to go straight on-the-nose by saying "unless they could MacGyver a way out" and a different list of items. Why??? Comedy is so subjective. And Friday, frankly similar set-ups were used; Prince Phillip's death, ancient Egyptian city discovered, but there was so much reworking the punchline to where despite some words being repeated or inferred (Meaghan Markel, Indiana Jones) they ended with a totally different punchline and intent. But two jokes they used verbatim again, even though I felt they were my sillier, weaker lines. Oh, well. Anyway, just to remind everyone, TMI: Daily is on the TMI: Hollywood Facebook Page weeknights at 6pm on (Hollywood time), if you want to see the jokes that got away. And here's my contributions for last week:  From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... This is a goofy little sketch I remember with fondness. I thought it was a great premise. I thought it used the medium of radio excellently. I thought it fit the mood of the show. I was wrong. April 2002, the show was back in NYC, as it did a couple of times a year for a run at The Town Hall on West 43rd Street, and I was never invited to attend (not bitter). It was inspired by my friend's latest episode of losing something on a city bus and making the attempt to retrieve it. Now, it was a Staten Island bus. If the drivers find an item on the bus, they bring it to the main depot on Staten Island. If it isn't claimed within a day or two, it get sent to the main Lost & Found in Manhattan. The idea of a lost and found for the entire city mass transit system seemed absurd to me. And all the umbrellas they must have! So, I decided to write a sketch about it. And because PHC was my sole outlet for material at the time, I geared it towards that. I thought it turned out quite well... NYC Department of Lost & Found
 Rough week for me. Only 3 jokes. Granted it was a short week with no show on Good Friday, but Monday and Tuesday I got shut out. I managed to spring back with one on Wednesday's show and 2 on Thursday's. But many of the premises were my submissions where the punchline went in a totally different direction. For example, there was a joke about a disease that effects bears so that they are unafraid of humans. I wrote "So, be careful out there, Mr. Ranger!" So that Yogi Bear reference gets changed into "It's call Yogi Bear-itis." Which, okay, but if you're going to make that joke, why not go for Yogi Berri-berri? My other line was "It's called Colt-45," which in retrospect should have been "Cub-45." Joke writing is not for the thin-skinned. Anyway, just to remind everyone, TMI: Daily is on the TMI: Hollywood Facebook Page weeknights at 6pm on (Hollywood time). And here's my contributions for last week: |
Dan FiorellaFreelance writer, still hacking away. 
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