A humor magazine I often submit to but rarely get in runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter, where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my pun zone, so I often play. I set my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of entries and they many times get selection. This week's was tricky, Snotty Snacks. I wound up using the cold and phlegmy definition of snotty, then I realized (thanks to both the thesaurus and a few other entries) I could go with the other definition; snooty, or bratty. I threw one in at the end. Here's the link to this week's game:
Years ago I had read the Fletch books and really enjoyed them. Fletch was a reporter character, in the post-Watergate time when reporters could be border-line anarchists with a thirst for truth and justice. But he was also a wise-cracking non-conformist who didn't seem to much care for societal norms. When they announced that Chevy Chase was going to play the part in a movie and remember thinking to myself, "Wow, perfect casting." Then I saw the ads. They made Chevy out as a "man of a thousand disguises" who was going to solve a mystery. Now, if you told me Dana Carvey or Dan Ackroyd was going to play a man of a thousand disguises, I could see that. But Chevy, who shot to fame with Saturday Night Live, wasn't known for playing a bunch of characters. He was always Chevy. Whether he was a newscaster or President, he was Chevy Chase. For whatever reason, I wound up not seeing the movie or the sequel...
A humor magazine I often submit to but rarely get in runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter, where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my pun zone, so I often play. I've added these Wednesday morning game to my PC calendar to remind me when it is so I can submit a bunch of entries and pretend I'm part of their staff. This week I almost wimped out because it was about supervillains and I was never a big comic book guy. I googled "famous supervillains and did those, then kind of went rouge with the idea of what is a villain, really? Anyway, I got several in this week. Here's the link to this week's game:
It's Christmas in July and we're running a sale on my ebooks! The Nick Files are 99 cents each! Halloweenies is 99 cents! Novel Concept is FREE! Check it all out at my Author Page on Amazon!www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00A4NSMBC
A humor magazine I often submit to but rarely get in runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter, where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my pun zone, so I often play. The trouble is, the way my Twitter timeline flows these days, I don't always see the game in action and I always forget that it's on Wednesdays. Every single Wednesday. But when I do stumble into the game, I always submit a bunch of entries and they many times get selection. Here's the link to this week's game:
One of my steadiest gigs was writing for Cracked Magazine. I talked about it here.
After Cracked was sold by Dick Kulpa to a confusion of people, we were all out of work. The new owners wanted little or nothing to do with the former crowd. A lot of us wound up on a Facebook group page. Some stories are told, old pieces reposted and vague memories shared. And then, the administrator of the page, author and comic nerd, Chet Jasper Reams decided to try something new. Which was create new content.
Back in 2020, there was a presidential election. Maybe you read about it. Reams dropped me a DM and asked if I might consider writing up a short piece about the mascot, Sylvester, running for president. I'm sure I don't know if he contacted anyone else, but I said, "Sure." I tend to to that. I wrote up a bit and sent it in. Then something amazing happened. He got it to artist Bruce Bolinger to draw it! That was in late July, 2020. By the end of August it was posted on the group page.
Something new is bubbling now, but it got me to thinking about that article and I figured I should include it on the blog. So, this is
Sylvester on the Stump 2020
Before we send you all off on shore leave, as your captain, I feel the need to address out some things I feel regarding our first cruise out of our new homeport of Brooklyn.
First, we still say “Ahoy.” Not “Yo!” I didn’t think this was something that needed to be said.
The dessert to passenger ratio needs to be improved. I don’t want a repeat of the Chocolate Fountain incident again, stormy seas or not.
In light of the smash & grabs at the on-board duty-free shops, the nightly “Glow Party” and “White Rave,” “Silent Disco” and “Nickle Beer Night” are being rethought.
Passenger surveys are telling us people who come upon the pool-side Bingo game and yell “Bingo” should be keelhauled. This will not happen. Nor will future passengers surveys.
While we will continue the tradition of singing “Happy Birthday” in our onboard restaurants, we will no longer have staff yell “Happy Wedding Night!” outside the cabins of honeymoon couples.
Our standard reminder: It’s a trivia contest for our passengers not an audition opportunity for the staff.
Sailing into international waters means we can open the casino to passengers. It does not mean we will begin “the purge.”
And again, no, the company will not be booking a cruise with an “endangered species” buffet station. Whoever keeps suggesting that needs to stop suggesting it.
The person who booked the movies “Titanic” and “The Poseidon Adventure” has been sacked.
No more “anchor rides.”
As for making port at our private island, the staff member who was handing out shovels to the disembarking passengers and telling them to “find the buried treasure” has been confined to quarters.
Full contact shuffleboard is being discontinued.
When I inform the crew to “report your station” I do not mean the omelet station.
No, the onboard sneaker shop will not be renamed Davy Jones’ Food Locker.
Have a pleasant leave and make sure to return by 1300 hours. That’s 1 pm for our entertainers.
Freelance writer, still hacking away.