"The Expendables 2" is now in theaters.  I parodied the original.  Through one of those creative flukes, I sold two different versions of the same idea to two different producers.  Let's check them out:

First, the version from All Star Radio, which stayed close to my script:

The the version from American Comedy Network and took the idea in a (slightly) different direction:

Just an update.  That blog posted an entire day's worth of entries insulting Akin for messing up everything nationwide.  I guess next he'll be forced to support Sen. McCaskill out of spite.

I know this happens all the time; the spinning and re-spinning of a political statement.  But I've never seen it done so blantantly and so fruitlessly.  It's fascinating how this blogger who backed Todd Akin goes from describing Akin's "legitimate rape" statement from "clumsy remark" to "misspoke" to "stupidity" to a sarcastic "No kidding" to damning him with a biblical quote.  I'll give the blogger points for not removing his old posts denoting his backpedaling.  But it's so interesting watching how he attempts to defend & justify the remark, then attempt to deflect the criticism with some sort of false equivalency with the dispised opponent, then starts posting the remarks of the GOP big-wigs demanding Akin quit without comment and finally denounces Atkin's plan to remain in the race as prideful.  In the end, it's the underside of the bus for you, Rep. Akin.
  

Everyone loves cheese.  But not everyone loves every cheese.  Yet stores try to foist new variations of old favorites upon us.  And frankly, they just never catch on:
 
Swiss Army Cheese – the only cheese that came with a screwdriver and cork screw.
 
Latin American Cheese – A bitter cheese, annoyed by the fact that everyone just assumes that American Cheese covers it all.
 
Tea Brie – cheese that tasted like tea.  Yet isn’t made with tea. Weird, right?
 
Egg Cream Cheese – old Brooklyn Favorite.  But old Brooklyn is gone.
 
Crème Cheese – made from the insides of Devil Dogs and Ring Dings.
 
Provolone 2: Lost in New York – face it, cheese sequels are never as good as the original cheese.
 
Hell in a Handbasket Cheese – a hot and spicy cheese bad for your heart and soul.
 
Red, White and Bleu Cheese – a cheese that only sold well in July.
 
Cottage Industry Cheese – a favorite of small businesses.  But the small dairy that made it could never expand its output.
 
Monterey Jack Flash – it caused gas, gas, gas.
 
Amateurvolone – the opposite of Provolone. 

Got a couple of nice bits up on the radio:

and from American Comedy Network: