|Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large||
As Not Seen on Newsbusted:
Contracting GOP leaders, Sen. John McCain stated that the information which led to the death of bin Laden did not come from torture. Gee, I wonder who twisted his arm to say that?
Newsbusted: Too Hot to Handle
The Associated Press reports that the high price of gasoline might be hurting Barack Obama's reelection chances. Mostly because the voters won’t be able to afford to drive to the polls.
Osama bin Laden's Surprise Visit to America --7/06
Osama bin Laden's Surprise Trip (formerly of Associated Content)
By Dan Fiorella
ANNOUNCER: And now this late breaking news bulletin.
ANCHOR: We've just received word that Osama Bin laden has just completed a surprise visit to one of this sleeper cell groups in the US. Covering the story is Abe Velmmer.
ABE: Yes, we just learned that Bin-Laden has just returned to his secret location in Afghanistan after a six-hour visit to the US. Last night, Bin Laden told followers that he was going back to his cave, when in fact he boarded his jet, Taliban One, and flew to Buffalo, New York.
ANCHOR: How was he greeted?
ABE: Warmly, although these terrorists in training only were made aware of the visit moments before bin Laden entered the room. He shook hands with the leader of the cell, one Mohammed al-Sid, and told al-Sid that, and I'm quoting, "You're doing a hell of a job, Mohammy." Since we don't know of anything al-Sid has actually done, we're not sure what to make of that. And he was gone as quickly as he came.
ANCHOR: Any repercussions from the surprise visit?
ABE: We're expecting bin Laden to release a video clip showing highlights of the trip on the Internet, as well as a DVD containing many extras.
ANCHOR: Thank you, Abe. We now return you to our regular programming---
This just in...
Osama bin Laden, martyr fodder.
Freelance writer, still hacking away.