Blog Archives - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - Halloween Horrors (Oct '04)

10/30/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

So, for Halloween, I did a copy and paste; a bunch of quick ideas that were kicking around or used for prose, I pulled together for this series of brief commercials featuring lessor known horror movies. I worked them into other things, and heck, I may again, because these could be really spooky tales! They passed, so here it is:

Halloween Horrors

#Hashtag, You're It! - Ghastly Groceries

10/26/2023

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of entries on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Full disclosure, I missed last week's game. Stuff happened. Now, as spooky season winds down, it was time to come up with Haunted Housewares. Of course, WH posted all the obvious ones in house so the rest of us had to hustle to come up with something original. It took a bit to get up to speed, but I submitted 12 and got 5 in, so good for me. You can check out the scary appliances at:

#HauntedHousewares

Barely Home Companion - Dogcatcher (Oct '04)

10/26/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Come the end of October, I was bouncing between political stuff and Halloween stuff. In one of those rare moments this late in the game, I came up with 2 sketches for the last show in October. This is the political one. What kind of commercial would you put out there if you were running for Dogcatcher in that time of going negative in ads, with a slight hint of 9/11 patriotism. Although it wasn't selected, I thought it would go something like this:

Dogcatcher

(GK, TK, HB: Harold Baker)

GK: We'll return after this paid political message.

TK: There are dogs in the woods. David Markem says he can catch them. But based on his record, how do we know he can? This town needs a dogcatcher it can trust. Can we go back to the old pre-9/11 ways of catching dogs? Some of those dogs could be rabid. Some of the dogs could even be dingos. But with David Markem as dogcatcher, how will we ever know?

We need dogs caught. And when we catch them, we need to put them down. We need Harold Baker. Vote for Harold Baker for dogcatcher. Don't vote for David Markem. I repeat, do not, under any circumstances, vote for David Markem.

HB: I'm Harold Baker and I approved this message.

end

Spooky Time Theater Opens

10/22/2023

If you only subscribe to one horror parody comedy anthology, make it Spooky Time theater! Listen to the first episode free, then subscribe to hear the series. All on the Headfone app! Do it today, before they run out!

Dan Fiorella · Spooky Time Theater Trailer 30 Sec

Spooky Time Theater On The Air!

10/20/2023

Just in time for Halloween 2023! My latest project, "Spooky Time Theater" has been released! Spooky Time Theater features tales of horror, terror and spookiness! Join host Grave Robinson as he presents the greatest tales of dismay that he can afford! It's all on the Headfone app. Listen to the first episode free then subscribe to Headfone and listen to hours and hours of audio drama, romance, comedy and...scariness! Find it now here!

Here's a commercial for it:

Dan Fiorella · Spooky Time Theater Trailer 90 Sec

Barely Home Companion - Political Diet (Oct. '04)

10/20/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Another cute, quick piece, combining food and politics. The election was getting over bearing and any way to mock it was welcomed relief. And we'd need a lot of relief back then. But this sketch wound up in the "leftovers" pile for another day.

Political Diet

Barely Home Companion - SLEEP-TRAINING (Oct. '04)

10/13/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I guess I had sleep on the mind this week, too. There was a big push back in the day to efficiently use up all your time, and one could easily claim sleeping was wasting a lot of time. So this brief sketch was born. I guess PHC was sleeping when they read it because they passed on it. Oh, well.

SLEEP-TRAINING

#Hashtag, You're It! - Ghastly Groceries

10/12/2023

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of entries and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

WH is keeping with their spooky season vibe for this week's contest. And again, I was all in, submitting 18 and getting 6 listened on their website. A lot of solid entries, even though there was some overlap with previous games like "Silly Cereals" or "Terror Toys." I don't care for the way WH features their own "entries" on the "winners" list and I swear they add some after the game starts, because I swear I read what they posted, and I wind up duplicating some of their jokes anyway. Well, you should check out the punnery at:

#GhastlyGroceries

Barely Home Companion - Dream marker 3000 (Oct. '04)

10/6/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This sketch came to me in a dream...kinda. I woke up during a great dream, knowing it would be gone soon. But what if you could tag the dream with a bookmark and return to it later? Cool, right. I'm sure Elon Musk is working on it, but I thought up this rejected skit back in 2004, so, I call dibs.

Dream marker 3000

Barely Home Companion - A Visit from George W (Sep. '04)

10/6/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

The election was coming up and, surprise, the GOP was playing games. Whether it was declaring Orange Alerts at odd news cycles, swiftboating people or outing spies that showed there were no WMDs in Iraq, there was a lot of insinuation being pumped out against the Democrats, or anyone else who questioned the Republicans during "wartime." I attempted to capture the spirit here, while keeping it light. It wasn't selected, but in hindsight, writing a sketch mentioning GK having an affair with an intern probably wasn't a smart thing. Hey, who knew?

A Visit from George W.

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