From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
After the horrific terror attacks of 9/11/01, the entertainment industry kinda shut down. There was too much to process and too many to mourn to allow ourselves to simply slip back into day-to-day life. But, even in the darkest tragedies, people get antsy for something more. Our basic needs still exist, to eat, to drink, to be among others. And social interaction leads to other things; the need to enjoy. The need to laugh.
In so many ways, all eyes were on New York City. Not just for what had happened, but for what we were. NYC is one of the broadcast centers of the nation. And, slowly, the media began to shake off the darkness. We all know how Letterman, John Steward, SNL and even Howard Stern started up their shows-both trying to acknowledge the change while conceding that some things, like the need to laugh, never change.
I had a small part in all this. Half way across the country, PHC had been on its hiatus with reruns for the summer. Their season opener was set for 10/6/01. Not for nothing, but by that time, my day job had been back up and running in Lower Manhattan for weeks. We were pressing forward, step by step, with the ashes and smoke still drifting out of Ground Zero. Work pushed us forward. But, try writing comedy.
The one thing the show had going for it was that over the summer Keillor had undergone heart surgery. He opened with that (which also was written by me). Then he went into one of his Wobegon monologues (which was usually done toward the end). He was going to get back into their routine as quickly as possible.
Anyway, it was time to write something to submit. The heart surgery was a quick bit I had done weeks earlier after I first read the news. But something new? That was proving tricky. One thing that was kind of annoying to me at this time was the sudden rush of patriotic commercials that were hitting the air. Everyone was trying to acknowledge the tragedy while still selling their wares. And some of the connections were really weak. So, that's how I decided to handle it...
In so many ways, all eyes were on New York City. Not just for what had happened, but for what we were. NYC is one of the broadcast centers of the nation. And, slowly, the media began to shake off the darkness. We all know how Letterman, John Steward, SNL and even Howard Stern started up their shows-both trying to acknowledge the change while conceding that some things, like the need to laugh, never change.
I had a small part in all this. Half way across the country, PHC had been on its hiatus with reruns for the summer. Their season opener was set for 10/6/01. Not for nothing, but by that time, my day job had been back up and running in Lower Manhattan for weeks. We were pressing forward, step by step, with the ashes and smoke still drifting out of Ground Zero. Work pushed us forward. But, try writing comedy.
The one thing the show had going for it was that over the summer Keillor had undergone heart surgery. He opened with that (which also was written by me). Then he went into one of his Wobegon monologues (which was usually done toward the end). He was going to get back into their routine as quickly as possible.
Anyway, it was time to write something to submit. The heart surgery was a quick bit I had done weeks earlier after I first read the news. But something new? That was proving tricky. One thing that was kind of annoying to me at this time was the sudden rush of patriotic commercials that were hitting the air. Everyone was trying to acknowledge the tragedy while still selling their wares. And some of the connections were really weak. So, that's how I decided to handle it...
Acme Floor Covering
by Dan Fiorella
(GK, AN: Sincere Announcer)
GK: And now a word from our sponsor...
(dramatic patriotic music)
AN: (commanding VO) America. The United States. The United
States of America. We answer to all those names. We
don't answer to "United Staters" because that would be
silly.
In these harrowing times, after this attempt to divide us
and knock us down, we find ourselves pulling together and
standing taller.
We salute our heroes. We honor the fallen.
We're Acme Floor coverings and we want to show our support
for the country because, after all, those big corporations
get to do patriotic commercials. So why not us? We're
Americans, too.
So know that when those car companies or that credit card
corporation produce their glossy and tasteful montages of
the spirit of America, we say "Me, too."
Acme Floor coverings. "We Cover Floors."
end
It was more of a head-on parody of the commercials, not quite hitting the mark for GK. Keillor took the premise of my bit and merged it into one of his running routines, Guys Shoes Store, sponsor of the Guys Shoes All Star Band. I caught some of the phrasing on air, but it didn't realize what he had done until I saw the posting online:
Didn't get big laughs, but it was their only reference to the event for the first hour, sly as it was. Sometimes the only way to precede is to lead with the familiar. Keillor did tackled the subject head on with the opening comments to the second hour and his full Wobegon Lake monologue at the end of the show.
So, that's how I helped make America laugh again after 9/11. God Bless America.
So, that's how I helped make America laugh again after 9/11. God Bless America.
