Category: Halloween - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - Halloween Stuff (Oct 2001)

10/27/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Halloween was a big deal for PHC. Halloween was a big deal for me. I pulled out all the stops for October 2001, I created a couple of sketches that I kinda knew wouldn't work for them, but they were Halloween and where else was I going to place them? Then I came up with a anthrax-inspired horror movie parody (at the time the National Enquirer and NBC were receiving anthrax in the mail). Here's the thing; I posted these bits on the blog before, so, back when I was doing it all as Skit Happens for a big Halloween countdown to push my book, Halloweenies. I'm just going to link them below:

It Came From the Mailroom!

Hiding Dragon, Crouching Pumpkin

The House Without a Pumpkin Tree

Barely Home Companion: Halloween Edition -Frankenstein & Igor (10/00)

10/29/2019

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is an interesting bit (for me). I once read a Woody Allen short story about Dracula. I was so impressed with it. I wanted to write something like it. So I did. He did Dracula, so obviously I would have to do Frankenstein. This was originally a short story. It was published as part of an anthology series years later (which has since gone out of print...which is weird for an ebook). The story was dialog-heavy (as much as my prose is) so I figured I could adapted it as a radio skit for PHC for one of their October shows. It was a pass.

I note in my journal at the end of October, 2000, that I had struck out again with PHC.

Four Halloween bits...Keillor going on and on about how "Americans don't make the most use of it [Halloween]" and proceeds to do practically nil on it . But winter! Don't get him started about winter!

I submitted to other venues after that, but it never got picked. It's my attempt at "racy" and there's one line ("Have you ever discussed politics with him?") that is straight up Woody Allen, although my attempt at making it more "me" (calling him a "feeb" instead of an "imbecile") really undercut it.

I actually took the script and collected together with a couple of my other horror bits and submitted it around as an episode of "The Nether Regions," a "Twilight Zone" type radio anthology show. One group produced another part of the anthology, so this skit has yet to become...ALIVE!

Sooo, Halloween is coming (it's one of my favorite holidays) and I have a Halloween book to sell. It's "Halloweenies," a tale of a boy and his costume...and friends. And family. And cops. And gangsters. It's funny.

Frankenstein & Igor

DOA: Hollywood; Halloween Edition - Amity Mayoral Debate

10/29/2019

TMI: Hollwood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

Again, I'm really satisfied with this sketch. Back in that summer it had been mentioned to me, as I noted in the forward of the skit, Politics is unpredictable. Like, did you ever notice that the mayor in "Jaws" is still the mayor in "Jaws 2?" How’d that happen?

It was something my son-in-law pointed out to me and it started to flesh itself out into a sketch over time, a perfect Halloween/Election Day combo that seems more common now as horror and politics have gotten more intertwined. Sure, there's a couple of typos and I left the name "Watt" in one place after I changed it to "Carla." So many Jaws Easter eggs in it. And it had some decent bits for the woman in the cast. And some really good throw-away lines and the Abby & Grace characters came out of left field, but really work in this context. Alas, it wasn't produced, but I hope you'll enjoy it now.

1977 Amity Mayoral Debate

DOA: Hollywood; Halloween Edition-Halloween Hearings

10/28/2019

TMI: Hollwood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

In 2018, we were watching a lot of unqualified people get nominated to a lot of important government jobs. The Kavanaugh hearings were very much in the news that autumn and it seemed like a good mix; Halloween and political humor. I was very happy with this sketch. I'm a fan of the Halloween movies and could really picture Jamie Lee Curtis playing the part. The length was good, it had a decent number of characters, each with a moment and it really flowed well. I thought I made a solid political parody without naming names but the gang didn't use it, so here we present....

Senate Halloween Hearings

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - Et. Al.

10/27/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie I worked on. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

So, I always recorded the Halloween decorations, first by photo, then with videos, since I started doing back in the 80s. Not everything is digital, but when I wrote my book, "Halloweenies," I pulled out some of what I had to create a couple of book promos for it. One shows the stuff in my attic, they other has photos from when I was decorating the door of our side-door apartment where we spend 20 years of our lives. Here's where you really see some of the different masks I used on my mechanical man figure, from mummy to monster to witch to wizard to vampire. It was pretty flexible. And I was always on the hunt for new accessories. It originally started with glove hands with string tied to a railing. Then monster hands, then I found the monster arms. I originally had an old man mask, but the way the ladder stood, with the paint ledge jutting out front, made everyone assume he was an old woman. So, I added a witch hat and cauldron and made him a witch. There were lights, coffins, and smoke machines added over the years. He even did a couple of personal appearances at some Halloween parties. That was the beauty of it, easily assembly and disassembly.

My favorite part is the kids' reactions to it. Some are fascinated by it. Others are frightened. The parents love it. It's turned into a real photo-op as they get their kids to stand next to it and take pictures. That part is a joy. And the weather has been nice on Halloween for so long that I get to hang outside with my bowl of candy and take care of business.

DOA: Hollywood; Halloween Edition-Scary Things

10/26/2019

TMI: Hollwood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

I had a nice creative spark back in October 2018. A lot of inspiration for bits to submit. Some inspiration came from babysitting my grandkids. They were young and watching a LOT of Disney Jr. and other age-appropriate things. But after awhile, things like Vampirina and Netflix's Super Monsters started to grate on my old-school Universal-era horror movie fandom. So, this skit was born. I was really happy with it, it had a solid beginning, middle and end. I think I nailed the sit-com tone. I got to do some goofy jokes and vent on about "these kids today and their monsters." As for the group, it was an good-size cast, each character had a moment. Granted it wasn't super topical, but I thought it had a great show-business vibe that I thought the group would appreciate. I was disappointed it didn't get in for their Halloween show. You'd think I'd be used to disappointment by now, right?

Disney’s Scary Thingies

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - 2018

10/26/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

2018. It's the usual guys, rearranged; my pumpkin patch. The grave yard, the warning signs. Some years a flying bat, other years a dropping spider. Things come and go.

I had added some new things; a different bird in a cage, a ghoul climbing up the wall. The skeleton gets a seat this year and a bag of candy. Turned the mechanical into a scarecrow (with his own theme song!) This year I placed him on the lawn for the first time, as I usually put him at the top of the driveway (because parking has gotten so bad on my block that my wife couldn't count on getting a space on the street when she came home from work).

I would always video the scene twice, once in daylight, upon completion and then at dusk, when you could see the lights better. Alas, few do. Trick-or-treating tends to wrap up in our neighborhood by dark, so not one sees the glowing cauldron or back-lit coffin.

I have other things in reserve already for next year. I always "dream big" but then scale back once I actually have to start assembling things. I see some people go nuts to the point where when it rains, they have to run out and cover everything in plastic bags because they're not really built for outdoors. I don't want to do that. I want to be creative, but I don't want to work so hard at it.

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - 2016

10/25/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

Sorry, this came out pixelated. It might be the first time I tried using my phone to film it, instead of a palmcorder or iPad. Or that weird digital recorder I got from somewhere.
The problem sometimes is I buy more stuff then I can use. The original point of the mechanical man was that it was quick to set up and take down and pack away. Since I'm not leaving these bigger decorations out for the whole month, ease was the main drive when doing this. Then I'll go out and buy fake stone wall paper and can't figure how to incorporate it. Or buy a poseable life-size skeleton. That's when I started decorating the small balcony about the front door. I could place things up there for the whole month.

My favorite thing is to try and make it look like the skeleton got caught up and tangled in the lights it was putting up.
Now, the Peanuts decoration. That I got for my wife. Saw it on someone's lawn and figured I should get one. Here's the thing, I set it up in front of the stoop and the lawn care guys cut off part of Linus' head the day after I set it up. That's another reason I would delay putting out the bigger decorations; the lawn care people. They never copped to it. They raked up and disposed of the cut-off piece but I put it up every year (expect this year) anyway.

DOA: Hollywood; Halloween Edition: Jekyll & Sober

10/24/2019

TMI: Hollwood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

Sometimes you think of the perfect holiday sketch a week after the holiday. Well, thanks to modern technology, I can now write it up and mark in in my computer calendar so it will remind me to submit it next year. That's what happened here. This Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde parody popped into my head around Halloween 2017, but too late to submit it to the group. So I wrote it up and waited a 12 months.

I really liked the flow, the characters, the internal logic of the premise; it was a joy writing it up. I only wished they had done it (womp, womp). Then I waited a year to post it here (at least I think I did. I checked the blog and couldn't find it. I couldn't remember if I posted it or decided to wait for Halloween). So, here is...

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Sobriety

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past-2015

10/24/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

Some of my other favorite things were the rubber skull. It's my second. The rubber started to come apart on the first one I had (which was a rare find) and I was desperate for a replacement. Where did I find it? DisneyWorld. Grabbed it as soon as I saw it. My one disappointment? I saw these amazing Haunted Mansion Ghosts masks (which would have fit on my mechanical man really well) but I didn't buy one. They were pricey. I figured "next time." When we returned several years later, they no longer sold them. Drat. Anyway, years later I found blinking eye ball lights (for Jack o'Lanterns) and installed them in the skull. I always enjoyed the effect.

One year I bought a cauldron for the time I turned the mechanical man into a witch. Then I got a coffin. It was perfect! It folded up. The lid open and closed. It lit up at night! Some assembly required, however. But then I got a smoke machine and put that inside the coffin and it was awesome. So naturally, the man would be a vampire from time to time.

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