Category: Halloween - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Hashtag, You're It! -# Zombie Superheroes

11/5/2025

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Last week's game was the last heading into Halloween, and I thought it was going to be a tough one; I mean how many synonyms for "zombie" are there? And how many superheroes? It took a little bit for the gears to start meshing, but then the puns started to flow. I mean, I submitted almost 20 bits, and got nine in, so that's a pretty decent showing. I did look up the Top 100 superhero movies and that also opened a door...they considered things like "The Mask" and James Bond superhero movies, so that opened up the opportunities for humor. So, for a last whiff of Halloween, check out:

#ZombieSuperheroes

Barely Home Companion - The Tell Tale SFX (Oct. '06)

10/31/2025

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is actually one of my favorite audio pieces. I really thought PHC would go for this. A Halloween tale. SFX. Giving GK some narration story telling. I told it was a great twist on the type of sound effects bits they've done so often. But they didn't go for it. I rewrote it a number of times to submit to different venues, including a stage version. But actual productions would always fall short, until a couple of years ago, when I was able to include it as an audio streaming program, "Spooky Time Theater."

The Tell Tale SFX

Leave it to the Prose: Camp Crystal Lake Addresses its Poor Yelp Ratings

10/27/2025

Halloween was on its way, and because of various issues at home, it's been sort of on the backburner here. Yeah, I finally put up some window decorations, but didn't pull out the figures or the lights. I've barely watched any real Halloween-related shows or movies, but I've seen the promos for all the Fright Festivals, including the slasher movies, like "Friday the 13th." And the 14th. And the 15th. And the 16th...Finally, an idea popped to mind and I wrote it up and sent it to Weekly Humorist. And they liked it. So let's head on over to Camp Lake Crystal and see how they're holding up:

Barely Home Companion - The Attack of the Headless Zombies (Oct. '06)

10/24/2025

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is another of those submissions I knew from the start wasn't going to get picked. It's totally silly and off beat, but, deep down, I knew PHC wasn't going to go for it. But as I said elsewhere, I was really threaten by the idea of missing a "deadline." I was submitting in a vacuum, kind of fed up with the lack of attention paid and was traveling beyond the point of caring, frankly. But, it was Halloween, so it seemed worth a try...

The Attack of the Headless Zombies

Barely Home Companion - Halloween Songs (Oct. '06)

10/22/2025

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Naturally, as Halloween approaches, it was time to roll out my Halloween sketches. From the Halloween slush pile. I don't know why I even bothered submitting these. Song parodies of rock and disco? What was I thinking? There was no way this would be in GK's wheelhouse but the idea of me missing a submission really drove me still. Sure, maybe he didn't like my stuff, but he knew it would be there.

Just for fun, I ran the lyrics through AI to create a song out of them, posted below.

Musical Double Feature

Coming Attractions: Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Sobriety

2/27/2025

My short play, "Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Sobriety" will be part of the Hudson Classical Theater Company's WAGG short play festival March 22 & 23 at the 102nd Street Field House. It's a free event, but you need to reserve a seat at Eventbrite here.

Hashtag, You're It! -#Scary Snacks

10/29/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

I can't help but notice that no matter the adject used in front of the game's theme, the entries all wind up devolving into simply things that are gross or disgusting. Ask for scary, or bad, or wrong something and eventually the posts veer away from the usual definition. Forget about defining what a "snack" even is here. Anyway, I submitted by usual dozen or so entries and got 5 in, so that's good. I tried to keep scary as in "Halloween scary," but I veered off to into gross and one of them got picked. Then again, different things scare different people. Check out the scary (or gross) fun at:

Barely Home Companion - Candy Corn Council (Oct '05)

10/18/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

As autumn approaches, my mind goes all Halloweeny. It's a favorite holiday of mine (as many of my posts attest to). No one I know actually likes candy corn. In fact, many people I know actively despise it. Personally, I don't mind it, but it's not chocolate, so that's a big strike against it. But it's part of the season. And like so many other products, I'm sure the candy corn companies are trying to expand their markets.

I borrowed one of PHC's favorite tropes and created the Candy Corn Council that has some plans for that. I've used candy corn puns in my work in Cracked and The Staten Island Advance, so the concept for this bit was always bumping around in my head. Marrying it to a PHC council seemed like a natural thing to do. And I liked trying to make additional uses for candy corn kinda sound practical (British tea time?). Also the fact of the ridiculousness of advertising candy corn as "fat-free" (which I've seen) makes it a perfect target.

I forget how the Christo gag came about, but I think the sketch was built around it, from wherever it developed. I like it. Christo had some of his draping cloth exhibits in the news around this time, but it probably doesn't make as much sense now, but google Christo to understand the fat joke.

Candy Corn Council

Barely Home Companion - Halloween Horrors (Oct '04)

10/30/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

So, for Halloween, I did a copy and paste; a bunch of quick ideas that were kicking around or used for prose, I pulled together for this series of brief commercials featuring lessor known horror movies. I worked them into other things, and heck, I may again, because these could be really spooky tales! They passed, so here it is:

Halloween Horrors

Barely Home Companion-Ketchup Advisory Board (Oct. 2003)

10/28/2022

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Once more I attempted to submit a sketch into one of their regular features and tying it into the Halloween season. I did several of these ketchup ads over the years and I often recycled some of the opening monologues from a previous one, then added a new one. I would keep using ones that I was fond of figuring no one had heard any of them yet, so I can just paste it in. They were never heard. And they were not sketches I could submit elsewhere, so they died on the vine, the ketchup vine.

Oh, you can still buy my book, to help you re-live your fondest Halloween memories. Get you copy here.

I actually used to go through the kids candy each Halloween night and extract the lesser sweets and bring them to work, where my co-workers descended on the candy bowl like locust. Hey, free candy. It was a tradition for a long time. Many of my co-workers would approach me Halloween week and ask, "Are you going to bring in candy after Halloween?" and I often replied, "No, my kids are in their twenties now. They don't trick-or-treat anymore. I haven't done that for years! Where have you been? Go back to the cage." People hate to lose out on free candy.

Ketchup Advisory Board

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