Blog Archives - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - Ground Hog (Jan '05)

1/31/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Again, when all else fails, go with a song parody. Staten Island has a very strong ground hog culture, with our own Staten Island Chuck, who famously bite one mayor and was killed when another mayor killed him by dropping him...allegedly. So, as the month came to a close and Ground Hog Day was within sight, I took the old Elvis song and made it about ground hogs that kinda scans. Anyway, I predicted it wouldn't get picked and it wasn't!

Ground Hog

Barely Home Companion - Fox Sweeps (Jan '05)

1/29/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Again, quick bit, pop culture, TV parody. Three strikes. I thought maybe the PHC crowd would enjoy mocking the FOX crowd. This was when FOX was deep in it's "When Bad Things Happen to People" phase, with horrible videos of terrible things. It was all based on the idea that you can't stop watching a train wreck, so why not televise train wrecks. I thought by adding some SFX, it might get considered, but no, it was not.

Fox Sweeps

Barely Home Companion - Wintertime (Jan '05)

1/26/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

When all else fails, song parody! The show only did song parodies occassionally. I remember one about the Y2K computer bug, to the tune of "Y-M-C-A." They did my version of "12 Days of Christmas" previously. But sometimes a tune gets in my head with an alternate title and a line or two and I follow it up. And if there's a writer's block to deal with, that's enough to carry me through sometimes. They didn't go for it, however...

Wintertime

Leave it to the Prose: #Live Tweeting the Wait Line for Slinky Dog Roller Coaster

1/26/2024

Finally got around to writing a new piece and sent it off to WH, and they went for it. It actually is another in my occasional series "Live Tweeting" which started over at The Big Jewel, here and here.

We reached Toy Story Land and the first ride the kids want to go on is the Slinky Dog rollercoaster, over my vote for Spinning Martians... (the rest of it)

#Hashtag, You're It! - Frosty Fantasy

1/25/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

Okay, this one threw me at first, I thought they were going blue again. Then I realized they meant Fantasy MOVIES. Oh, okay, that I can manage. Did 15 or so. Got seven onto their site. And I finally did write something new and submitted it. More on that later. Meanwhile, enjoy this week's hashtag game finalists:

Barely Home Companion - BUSH SPEECH (Jan '05)

1/24/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I had some succession with a SOTU address back in 2004, so I figured I'd attack it again, with a preview in 2005. Didn't get picked. It's an okay bit. The negative campaign ad? I'd actually turn that into a running bit over at ACN radio for elections involving the Pope, the American Idol, and a Iraqi president, so something came of it. Anyway, here's W's speech preview:

BUSH SPEECH

On the Radio: Candy Cane Christmas

1/21/2024

Here's the second part of my Christmas 2-fer. The Florida Radio Project produced my piece, "A Candy Cane Christmas." This idea has been bouncing around my head for ages. The Hallmark Christmas machine has gotten out of hand the last few years, churning these holiday rom-coms out to the extend that it's spilled over into 2 other cable channels. I like to think I was poking fun of it first, but the pop culture zeitgeist has definitely zeroed in on it, from SNL sketches to Comedy Central movie parodies and back to Hallmark, which has started to poke fun at itself in a couple of recent movies. The sketch had made the rounds to various comedy outlets, with little success (try finding a stage troupe that also does Christmas shows). I then incorporated it in to MY version of a holiday rom-com, a screenplay I wrote called "Merry Broadcast." The Florida group did a great job with it and the audience was onboard, so enjoy A Candy Cane Christmas:

The Radio Theatre Project · A Candy Cane Christmas Written By Dan Fiorella

#Hashtag, You're It! - Titillate A TV Show

1/19/2024

Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site.

I always hesitate when this kind of topic is offered, titillate. I'm a prude. I don't like working blue. And when people dive into this opening, it always feels kind of crass. But, in for a penny, in for a pound. I try to go for clever over crude, the double entendre or pun on the title, not that I always succeed. I managed to grind out 15 or so and 10 got picked, so I guess that's a victory. WH posted it over that their (ad-heavy) site, so check it out! Meanwhile, I have to start submitting some legitimate articles to them again.

#TitillateATVShow

On The Radio--The Nick Files: Lost Claus- Florida edition

1/18/2024

Back in December, I had a 2-for of Christmas cheer. The Florida Radio Project did two of my scripts. First (second will be another post), they did a new version of "The Nick Files: Lost Claus." After having written a couple of radio adaptions of my Nick Flebber stories I took a look back at "Lost Claus" which was, to be honest, a glorified radio sketch that was a cross between my original screenplay and a comic story I made to parody my old K-mart job. So, I attempted to fill it out with some scenes from the original versions and beef up my page count/run time to 30 minutes. Then I sent it out. And it sleigh-ed the audience. Ha! Check it out for yourself:

The Radio Theatre Project · The Nick Files: Lost Claus Written By Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - Escaping Neverland (Jan -05)

1/17/2024

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Okay, I've been off the grid for a couple of weeks and have fallen behind. If I thought anyone was reading the blog, I might be upset about that. But for now, let's try to catch up. It's no mid-January and I want to post the January 2005 skits I submitted to PHC as we enter the second half of the 04-05 season.

Reading this bit I have to admit I don't know what I was thinking. Finding Neverland was in the air, with a movie and play kicking around. They were about the author of Peter Pan. Then there was the whole Michael Jackson legal action going on about what allegedly happened on his Neverland ranch. Sure, there was the possibility of a sketch here. But for PHC? No way! Anyway, I wrote it up and submitted it. They passed on it, which really isn't a surprise. It was short. It was topical. It never stood a chance.

Escaping Neverland

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