Blog Archives - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

A Writer’s Journal Journey 26

4/30/2017

I've been looking back on my adventure in Hollywood, culling pages from my journal...

Just a few days later Kevin called with news: the Warner team read the script and liked it, but they didn’t love it. They were on the fence about it. So Kimberly, who now no longer worked for Warner, told Joel & Bill to send it to Paul Reubens. An end-run. They did just that, sending it to Reubens’ agent. The idea was that if Reubens and his people liked it that would be enough to push Warner off the fence. Or entice Rueben to set it up elsewhere. Or just option the damn thing. In the meanwhile, Bill and Joel were still all set to send out the Flebber version of the script to others as soon as the option expired. Not good news, not bad news, just different news. “Stay tuned,” I noted.

A Writer’s Journal Journey 25

4/26/2017

I've been looking back on my adventure in Hollywood, culling pages from my journal...

6/24/91; the one-year anniversary of my Hollywood odyssey, Staten Island branch.

Kevin called. Kimberly liked the script. Thought it was better, funnier (huh?). Anyway, it was on the weekend read list for the studio folk with (we assumed) Kimberly’s recommendation. She'd be leaving at the end of the week (so how much would her recommendation even mean at this point?). Besides, the option would expire two weeks afterward.

Leave it to the Prose: President Trump's First 100 Day; an Alternative Look Back

4/26/2017

Got a new bit posted by the gang over at The Higgs Weldon site; President Trump's First 100 Days; an Alternative Look Back!

ETA: Higgs Weldon went dark, so I'm posting the list here...

President Trump’s First 100 Days
An Alternative Look Back
by Dan Fiorella

The first 100 days of any administration has always been a random, arbitrary mile marker for the U.S. president’s since Franklin Roosevelt hit the ground running (so to speak). Well, let’s give a side glance to the early days of the Trump Administration:

The oath of office was made with his right hand on a copy of “The Art of the Deal.”

A huge sigh of relief when he got get beyond the “I, Donald J. Trump” part of the oath of office.

The first recorded use of the word “bigly” in an inauguration speech.

The commission of the coal-powered Air Force One.

Executive order cancelling Taco Tuesdays. However, “Wednesday is Sundae” was expanded into Thursday.

Presidential Limousine replaced with Presidential R train to Trump Tower.

Exiting Administration officials required to sign Non-Disclosure Agreements but did receive bothexciting parting gifts and shots.

Botox and spray tan now covered by the ACA.

Fracking in the Rose Garden.

Annual White House Christmas card to be rated PG-13.

White House chef replaced by the Burger King.

Annual Easter Egg Roll will now feature solid gold eggs.

Presidential pole to be installed in Lincoln Bedroom.

Supreme Court cases now televised every weekday afternoon for a half hour, followed in most areas by ELLEN.

Attempt to replace Obamacare with Trumpcare. Basically the same, except everyone would havegotten a lollipop.

The annual tradition of pardoning a turkey at Thanksgiving will be replaced with auction of turkeys to Swanson.

Blocked Obama on Twitter.

Congressional filibusters replaced with “Hunger Games”-style showdowns.

Discovery of Donald’s long-lost, goofy half-brother.

So much gold leafing.

State dinners replaced with a Drive-Thru window.

He’ll have had his name on more stuff before becoming president than after.

Every day now “Bring Your Daughter to Work” Day.

Golf outings until you’re sick of golf outings. So many golf outings.

Press conferences will consist of Trump choosing questioners by tossing lawn darts at them.

A steady production of red baseball caps.

All his copies of Playboy are now eligible to be included in the Library of Congress.

A Fox News Reality show spinoff.

Presidential Cabinet replaced with Steel Cage.

The State of the Union Address will now be on a 10 second delay.

An undefined and looming sense of doom…

A Writer’s Journal Journey 24

4/20/2017

I've been looking back on my adventure in Hollywood, culling pages from my journal...

Mid-June I spoke with Kevin. He really loves the script (“so what else is new?”). It’s funny, but still “too simple.” They really have a problem with a clean through line on a comedy. Caught some typos, wanted line changes. He was editing speeches that had been there from the beginning drafts. These things are never finished. Then he brings up “Brain Donors” again.

My Morning Kvetch: Lions & Tigers and Beards, Oh My!

4/20/2017

In March 2016, a new comedy website launched, featuring short online articles. It was The Morning Kvetch. Alas, there was no traction and the site no longer exists. So, I'm going to drag out the bits I wrote for them and post them here from time to time. So, let us present (the last in the series):

Lions & Tigers and Beards, Oh My!

My Morning Kvetch

4/16/2017

In March 2016, a new comedy website launched, featuring short online articles. It was The Morning Kvetch. Alas, there was no traction and the site no longer exists. So, I'm going to drag out the bits I wrote for them and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:

To Shave and Shave Not

My Morning Kvetch

4/14/2017

In March 2016, a new comedy website launched, featuring short online articles. It was The Morning Kvetch. Alas, there was no traction and the site no longer exists. So, I'm going to drag out the bits I wrote for them and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:

It Doesn’t Take a Village to Raise a Pet

A Writer’s Journal Journey 23

4/14/2017

I've been looking back on my adventure in Hollywood, culling pages from my journal...

I received the script at the end of May. Naturally, there was a call with Kevin. I was trying to save some of my actual jokes. I was being told the bad elves had to go, too repetitive, too one-jokey, just not funny. Still have to reign in my clever scene descriptions, cut pages, re-work Elfis into a scene of his own.
I finished it all quickly, trying to give Arsenio (the new hip elf) a decent scene, which I didn’t quite pull off. Arsenio merely exists because I was told to put him there. He doesn’t have a personality yet. Maybe, I decided, to make him a bit of a smart aleck. It was all under consideration.

A Writer’s Journal Journey 22

4/12/2017

I've been looking back on my adventure in Hollywood, culling pages from my journal...

A few days later, when next we spoke, I told Kevin that the option on the script expired May 6th, 1991, only a few weeks off.

Meanwhile, I completed and sent them the 75 pages I had. I thought the story was more heavily plotted but not “as funny.” I didn’t trust my judgement at this point. I scribbled that I was hoping the script reverts back to the Nick Flebber version.

Just a few days later and I had finished the draft of “Kringle.” I dropped the final 1/3 in the mail. Now it was out of my hands…

My Morning Kvetch

4/12/2017

In March 2016, a new comedy website launched, featuring short online articles. It was The Morning Kvetch. Alas, there was no traction and the site no longer exists. So, I'm going to drag out the bits I wrote for them and post them here from time to time. So, let us present:

Charged Up

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