From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
What can I say, there used to be commercials for the Chubb Institute for work skills. What could be more natural than to add the "y" and still present it as a training institute and weight center. Again, a short bit as the season was winding down and I wasn't fully engaged at this point. It had been months since I had a piece up. And even longer since there was any true contact with me. Or acknowledgment of me. My heart wasn't in it, but I still felt compelled to keep submitting material. Oh, well.
The Chubby Institute
ANNOUNCER: Are you out of work and overweight? Are you looking for a better job while overweight? Trying to advance your career and in addition to being overweight? Maybe you need more training. Maybe you need to attend the Chubby Institute.
STUDENT 1: Thanks to the Chubby Institute, I was able to learn a new skill and get a better job, all while being overweight.
ANNOUNCER: If you're tired of trying to improve your life in a caloric-conscious environment, then maybe it's time to enroll in the Chubby Institute. We offer degrees in Engineering, Deep Frying, Teaching, Court Reporting, Desserts, Air Conditioning Repair, Ice Cream Consumption, Trucking, Donuts, and many more. All nationally accredited courses. Financial aid and Hamburger Helper are available to all qualified students. So come to the Chubby Institute and take a bite out of life.
STUDENT: (mouth full) You'll be glad you did! You gonna eat that?
End
STUDENT 1: Thanks to the Chubby Institute, I was able to learn a new skill and get a better job, all while being overweight.
ANNOUNCER: If you're tired of trying to improve your life in a caloric-conscious environment, then maybe it's time to enroll in the Chubby Institute. We offer degrees in Engineering, Deep Frying, Teaching, Court Reporting, Desserts, Air Conditioning Repair, Ice Cream Consumption, Trucking, Donuts, and many more. All nationally accredited courses. Financial aid and Hamburger Helper are available to all qualified students. So come to the Chubby Institute and take a bite out of life.
STUDENT: (mouth full) You'll be glad you did! You gonna eat that?
End
