Category: Barely Home Companion - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion - A Visit from George W (Sep. '04)

10/6/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

The election was coming up and, surprise, the GOP was playing games. Whether it was declaring Orange Alerts at odd news cycles, swiftboating people or outing spies that showed there were no WMDs in Iraq, there was a lot of insinuation being pumped out against the Democrats, or anyone else who questioned the Republicans during "wartime." I attempted to capture the spirit here, while keeping it light. It wasn't selected, but in hindsight, writing a sketch mentioning GK having an affair with an intern probably wasn't a smart thing. Hey, who knew?

A Visit from George W.

Barely Home Companion: Apologies with Dan Rather (Sep. 04)

9/29/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I had the Barney sketch waiting. I had written the season opener sketch and that was prepped. Then there was breaking news and I needed to write a quick sketch about it! A sketch torn from the headlines. Reporter Dan Rather got into a ton of trouble when he attempted to prove the George W. Bush dodged the draft during the Vietnam War. It had been rumored for years. Rather's group discovered a letter which seemed to prove that he got special treatment to join the state militia, which would keep him in the states. He presented it to the public. Then it turned out the letter was a fake. Someone sold Rather a bill of goods and he grabbed it. An on-air apology was deemed necessary. So, I took the idea that while he's apologizing for that, maybe there would be a couple of other things he needed to get off his chest. Thus begat this (rejected) sketch:

Apologies with Dan Rather

Barely Home Companion: Summer Vacation (Sep. 04)

9/28/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This was an epic "welcome back" sketch for the official season opener. So, over the summer, there was Ken Jennings winning streak, the political conventions, the Olympics and I'm thinking there must have been talk about the PHC movie they were working on. It wasn't released until 2006, but I must have alluded to it here for some reason. This sketch had everything; topical events, celebrity voices, sound effects! I think I lifted the whole radio olympics thing from a sketch 4 years previous. Over-stuffed to the max, it didn't make the cut. Don't know why. Poking too much fun at GK? It would have filled a lot of air time.

Summer Vacation

Barely Home Companion - 3 Tenors Sing Barney (Sep '04)

9/22/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Man, it's only the second week in and I'm already submitting recycled material. I had this piece sitting in my pile for quite some time. I even attempted to re-work it as a Christmas sketch (which I also submitted). But the Three Tenors was big at this time and Barney was still huge. Both were Public Broadcasting properties, so, why not? But, it was probably too TV for GK. I'm he probably didn't even know who Barney was (and the quick aside to Our Gang comedies didn't help much). It's just a silly bit of musical fluff, and I'm not shocked it didn't make it. I had it really to go the week after the State Fair show, not realizing the season hadn't begun yet, so I had to sit on it until 9/25/04. So, enjoy:

3 Tenors Sing Barney

Barely Home Companion - Peach Pie (Sep. '04)

9/15/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

PHC did a special live show from the MN State Fair in 2004, two weeks before the season was to begin. State fairs mean foods and contests. While I'm not sure what triggered this sketch specifically, it is a typical "contrarian"-type sketch that I often wrote. Basically, it was take a simple premise, have someone defy it and attempt to act like it's fine. So, having a peach pie without peaches seems a no brainer. Tying the sketch to the season premiere seemed be a way to attract enough attention to get accepted. The show passed on it. It's still a fun little bit. We would try again in two weeks, when the season actually got under way.

Peach Pie

Barely Home Companion - Summer Turnover (June '04)

6/30/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

So, this was going to be the last show of the 2003-04 season and as I started to re-read this piece after 20-odd years, I thought it was going to be a goof on Keillor and his show, since I was featuring his fictional writer, Sarah Bellum. Back in the early days of TV, when a show went on summer hiatus, they would often replace it with a "summer series." It could be a variety show, a British import, or some left-over program that didn't make the cut. It starts with that as the premise. Maybe I'll come up with some wacky-sounding replacement radio shows with punny names. But that premise gets hijacked by a missing paranoid programing director. Then this sketch really takes an sudden turn. Evil dictator Suddam Hussein had been captured and as summer approached, they were setting up his trial for war crimes and general evil-ness. So, that was in the news and my little PHC parody became a Hussein sketch. No goofy radio shows. No (major) digs at PHC. No sly in-jokes about my stuff never getting selected. No summer cliff-hangers. Disappointingly, it didn't get selected. So, prepare to witness...

Summer Turnover

Barely Home Companion - SpaceShipOne (June '04)

6/23/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Back before Bezos, Musk and Branson were all racing to be the first billionaire in space, there was something called SpaceShipOne. It was the first movie into space by a private company. It launched a sub-orbital flight the week the show broadcast, so I wrote up a sketch. The idea of private companies going into space is something I've been mocking since my Galaxy Rangers days. I wrote a NY Post op-ed piece about it when they launched John Glenn back into space. As my character, Zoot Martin, the head of Space Peace, says in Galaxy Rangers, "people have a habit of mucking up anyplace they go, and that includes space." Arnold Davies is the forerunner of today's space privateers. And they were as annoying as the rapidly spreading cell-phone users of the day. I actually submitted this sketch the same week as my House of Tea sketch, and it's one declining times I submitted more than one sketch in a week this far into my run. But the Seattle House of Tea and the Space launch were both topical and had to be addressed. Not as much as I thought they did, however, since neither made it to air.

SpaceShipOne

Barely Home Companion - Hal's House of Tea (June '04)

6/16/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This sketch is kind of interesting to me. Obviously, I took the premise I've used so many times before, the super-specific store that sells one thing. But the show was playing in Seattle this week and I did a twist on it. What if the guy who opened the store recognized his folly? What if, in the city of coffee shops and Starbucks, Hal thought he'd go all-in on a tea shop? I thought it really worked. And I love the tag line on it. But I'm the only one that thought so. Anyway, welcome to the House of Tea, steeped in desperation.

Hal's House of Tea

Barely Home Companion - Also in Hollywood (June '04)

6/9/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I had forgotten about this item. Naturally, the show was on the road, broadcasting from Hollywood. And, as usual, I attempted to create a bit that was geared to the location. And I wound up writing a sequel to my "The Hawaiian Rule" bit that had been used as the basis for the sketch performed on the show the back in 2002. I tried to hit the impressions the show had used before and then it morphed into a President Bush Jr. bit, since Bush had practically become a series regular at this time. I can only imagine what PHC would have made of Trump had the show continued (beyond their shared habit of harassing women). And with that said, here's the rejected sketch, "Also in Hollywood"! Action!

Also in Hollywood

Barely Home Companion - Glimpse into Tomorrow (Jun. '04)

6/2/2023

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This sketch featured out old friend inflation. Remember when gas prices got bad and we had to vote Carter out of office? Then gas prices rose under George W. and everyone was cool with it? Then supermarket prices started going up and there was nothing to do but cut taxes for the wealthy and invade Iraq. Well, when I read that milk at the time cost more than gasoline, it reminded me of the old conspiracy theory about how Big Oil destroyed plans for a car that ran on water. And that's always the thing, people are trying to invent the future but really have no idea what it'll take to do that. The future is just going to shape itself and all we can do is attempt to solve the problems of the present. No need to drag the future into it. But that's getting far afield from the point of the sketch, which is...better luck next time! Similar to the rejection I got on it...

Glimpse into Tomorrow

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