Lindsay Lohan was released from a Los Angeles County jail after serving 4 1/2 hours of her 30 day sentence…
…She said her stint in jail was "scary" from what she can remember of it.
…she’s just that crazy; prison doesn’t even want to make room for her.
…I guess she got time off for misbehavior.
Musicians David Crosby and Graham Nash performed “an acoustic set of protest songs” at Occupy Wall Street’s protest center in New York City. Just in case you were starting to think Occupy Wall Street wasn’t a bunch of aging hippies.
Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael Jackson's physician, was found guilty of involuntary manslaughter for the death of Michael Jackson…
…no word yet on when they’re going after La Toya’s doctor for what they did to her.
…he could face 4 years in jail or serve as the head of an Obamacare death panel.
At the recent G20 meeting, live microphones picked up a private conversation between President Obama and French President Sarkozy during which Sarkozy said he "can't stand" Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, to which Obama replied, "You're fed up with him? I have to deal with him every
…know you know how voters here feel.
…if this is how he talks about our allies, I wonder what he says about our enemies?
…The White House has had no comment on this. Sure, he scrapes and bows to America’s enemies, but no “I’m sorry” for an ally.
…apparently everyone heard it, except ABC, NBC, CBS, MSNBC and CNN.
In the six days after Politico's first piece about Herman Cain’s sexual harassment charges ran, CNN, ABC, CBS, MSNBC and NBC ran more stories on that subject than it did on 2008 presidential candidate Barack Obama's connections to domestic terrorist Bill Ayers, convicted real estate developer Tony Rezko, and America-hating Rev. Jeremiah Wright combined...
…which just goes to show you, sex sells.
…if only Obama had hit on one of them.
Big news for the Duggar family of the "19 Kids and Counting" show; they announced they are expecting their 20th child. Also the population control group, The Center for Biological Diversity, has putted them on their 10 most wanted list.
White House Office of Science & Technology Policy released a statement that it has "no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race…"
…excluding Congressman Dennis Kucinich.
…so much for the “Tax the Aliens” movement.
…have they not been to an OWS protest?
In Iowa, a 30-year-old woman attempted to burn down a couple's house in retaliation
for being unfriended on Facebook…
…also, ploughed under their property on Farmville.
…Imagine what she would have done if they were on LinkedIn.
…which reminds me; a big shout out to all my wonderful Facebook friends!
The White House had to reverse its decision to approve a Christmas
tree tax amid backlash over the fee…
…The Agriculture Department had wanted to impose a new 15-cent Christmas Tree Tax to support a Federal program to improve the image and marketing of Christmas trees. You want to improve the image of Christmas trees? Don’t charge more for them.
…now maybe Charlie Brown can afford a decent tree.
…well, it’s beginning to look a lot like a war on Christmas.
…what’s next? A 15-cent Menorah tax?
…To improve the image and marketing of Christmas Trees? You want to improve the image of Christmas Trees? Then just add tinsel.
…Well, at least they didn’t call it a “Holiday Tree Tax.”
The BBC reported that a private investigator working for News of the World conducted surveillance on Prince William…
…because the royals live in such shadows.
…why didn’t they watch the wedding on TV like everyone else?
Occupy Oakland took a $20,000 donation the group received from Occupy Wall Street for legal and medical aid and opened an account at Wells Fargo Bank with it…
…apparently, it was the only bank left they hadn’t vandalized.
…because they were giving out toasters and everyone wanted some toast.
…so, no hard feelings about all that vandalism?
Ryanair Airlines announced a new in-flight app that will allow passengers to screen porn. They are also now offering TSA pat-downs with a “happy ending.”
West Hollywood became the first U.S. city to enact a law that bans the sale of fur clothing. Next they’re going after animal prints.
Police clashed with rioting students after football coach Joe Paterno was fired over his handling of sex abuse allegations against a former assistant football coach…
…OWS protesters are reportedly really jealous.
…OWS protesters responded by saying, “Hey that’s our thing!”
…after they found out why he was fired they responded,“Whoops, our bad.”
Another actor from Broadway's "Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark" musical was injured during the show…
…while it hasn’t won a Tonys, it has gotten good reviews from the EMS.
…I remember when “break a leg” was just a showbiz saying.
…usually when a Broadway actor sees stars it’s from the review.
…explaining why the show has received two sprained thumbs up.
There are reports from across the country that the recent nationwide test of the Emergency Alert System did not go successfully. So expect an Emergency Alert System re-test soon.
Gov. Rick Perry is catching a lot of flack over his latest debate mis-step…
…too bad it wasn’t something easily forgivable, like keeping unemployment up at 9% or
creating a 4 trillion dollar deficit.
…fortunately he has another 50 or so debates to go.
The video game, "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3”has set entertainment industry records with the biggest product launch of all time beating out the video game from Toyota, “Recall of Duty.”
The Corporation for Travel Promotion, a private-public partnership was formed with a marketing budget of $200 million to promote America to travelers…
…and an even bigger budget to get them to go home.
There have been five reported deaths at the various Occupy Wall Street camps across the country. Apparently we don’t have to chase them off, they’ll eventually just kill each other.
Egypt's antiquities authority closed the largest of the Giza pyramids on Nov. 11th, following rumors that groups would try to hold spiritual ceremonies on the site at 11:11 A.M. on Nov. 11, 2011…
…officials now figure they are safe until December 12, 2012.
…which is weird, because October 10, 2010 was such a bust.
An Illinois man was arrested after he called 911 on five different occasions to report that his iPhone was not working…
…or did the iPhone call 5 times to rescue it from this idiot.
…another case where the smart phone is smarter than the user.
…hey, if the iPhone wasn’t working, how was he able to call 911?
Jon Corzine’s bankrupt trading company MF Global Inc. says it is terminating its entire workforce of 1,066 employees. Sounds like a typical Democratic jobs program.
In order to meet fuel economy targets General Motors will be replacing spare tires with inflator kits…
…so, in addition to being bailed out, they want a tow as well.
…leave it to GM to treat a spare tire as a fifth wheel.
…and then have everyone hope for the best.
A man is suing Whole Foods Markets in Pennsylvania claiming he was fired due to his Muslim faith. The store claims he was fired due to absenteeism, but apparently he wasn’t there they day they released that memo.
A Florida woman left a thousand dollars in an envelope at home then came home from work to find their dog ate the money. The dog was then picketed by protesters as being part of the 1%.
Occupy protesters announced plans to protest at the annual Tournament of Roses Parade. They will be the ones that don’t smell like roses.
The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration’s yearly report shows that greenhouse gases jumped 1.5%. Well, it is an election year.
The American Farm Bureau Federation finds that the cost of the average Thanksgiving dinner has increased 13% this year. Another reason for GOP candidates to be thankful.