Category: Halloween - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

DOA: Hollywood; Halloween Edition-Halloween Hearings

10/28/2019

TMI: Hollywood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

In 2018, we were watching a lot of unqualified people get nominated to a lot of important government jobs. The Kavanaugh hearings were very much in the news that autumn and it seemed like a good mix; Halloween and political humor. I was very happy with this sketch. I'm a fan of the Halloween movies and could really picture Jamie Lee Curtis playing the part. The length was good, it had a decent number of characters, each with a moment and it really flowed well. I thought I made a solid political parody without naming names but the gang didn't use it, so here we present....

Senate Halloween Hearings

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - Et. Al.

10/27/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie I worked on. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

So, I always recorded the Halloween decorations, first by photo, then with videos, since I started doing back in the 80s. Not everything is digital, but when I wrote my book, "Halloweenies," I pulled out some of what I had to create a couple of book promos for it. One shows the stuff in my attic, they other has photos from when I was decorating the door of our side-door apartment where we spend 20 years of our lives. Here's where you really see some of the different masks I used on my mechanical man figure, from mummy to monster to witch to wizard to vampire. It was pretty flexible. And I was always on the hunt for new accessories. It originally started with glove hands with string tied to a railing. Then monster hands, then I found the monster arms. I originally had an old man mask, but the way the ladder stood, with the paint ledge jutting out front, made everyone assume he was an old woman. So, I added a witch hat and cauldron and made him a witch. There were lights, coffins, and smoke machines added over the years. He even did a couple of personal appearances at some Halloween parties. That was the beauty of it, easily assembly and disassembly.

My favorite part is the kids' reactions to it. Some are fascinated by it. Others are frightened. The parents love it. It's turned into a real photo-op as they get their kids to stand next to it and take pictures. That part is a joy. And the weather has been nice on Halloween for so long that I get to hang outside with my bowl of candy and take care of business.

DOA: Hollywood; Halloween Edition-Scary Things

10/26/2019

TMI: Hollywood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

I had a nice creative spark back in October 2018. A lot of inspiration for bits to submit. Some inspiration came from babysitting my grandkids. They were young and watching a LOT of Disney Jr. and other age-appropriate things. But after awhile, things like Vampirina and Netflix's Super Monsters started to grate on my old-school Universal-era horror movie fandom. So, this skit was born. I was really happy with it, it had a solid beginning, middle and end. I think I nailed the sit-com tone. I got to do some goofy jokes and vent on about "these kids today and their monsters." As for the group, it was an good-size cast, each character had a moment. Granted it wasn't super topical, but I thought it had a great show-business vibe that I thought the group would appreciate. I was disappointed it didn't get in for their Halloween show. You'd think I'd be used to disappointment by now, right?

Disney’s Scary Thingies

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - 2018

10/26/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

2018. It's the usual guys, rearranged; my pumpkin patch. The grave yard, the warning signs. Some years a flying bat, other years a dropping spider. Things come and go.

I had added some new things; a different bird in a cage, a ghoul climbing up the wall. The skeleton gets a seat this year and a bag of candy. Turned the mechanical into a scarecrow (with his own theme song!) This year I placed him on the lawn for the first time, as I usually put him at the top of the driveway (because parking has gotten so bad on my block that my wife couldn't count on getting a space on the street when she came home from work).

I would always video the scene twice, once in daylight, upon completion and then at dusk, when you could see the lights better. Alas, few do. Trick-or-treating tends to wrap up in our neighborhood by dark, so not one sees the glowing cauldron or back-lit coffin.

I have other things in reserve already for next year. I always "dream big" but then scale back once I actually have to start assembling things. I see some people go nuts to the point where when it rains, they have to run out and cover everything in plastic bags because they're not really built for outdoors. I don't want to do that. I want to be creative, but I don't want to work so hard at it.

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - 2016

10/25/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

Sorry, this came out pixelated. It might be the first time I tried using my phone to film it, instead of a palmcorder or iPad. Or that weird digital recorder I got from somewhere.
The problem sometimes is I buy more stuff then I can use. The original point of the mechanical man was that it was quick to set up and take down and pack away. Since I'm not leaving these bigger decorations out for the whole month, ease was the main drive when doing this. Then I'll go out and buy fake stone wall paper and can't figure how to incorporate it. Or buy a poseable life-size skeleton. That's when I started decorating the small balcony about the front door. I could place things up there for the whole month.

My favorite thing is to try and make it look like the skeleton got caught up and tangled in the lights it was putting up.
Now, the Peanuts decoration. That I got for my wife. Saw it on someone's lawn and figured I should get one. Here's the thing, I set it up in front of the stoop and the lawn care guys cut off part of Linus' head the day after I set it up. That's another reason I would delay putting out the bigger decorations; the lawn care people. They never copped to it. They raked up and disposed of the cut-off piece but I put it up every year (expect this year) anyway.

DOA: Hollywood; Halloween Edition: Jekyll & Sober

10/24/2019

TMI: Hollywood produces a live TOPICAL show each week, every Sunday. And by "every" we mean "many." Not everything submitted gets in. And not everything that gets rejected has a shelf life.

Sometimes you think of the perfect holiday sketch a week after the holiday. Well, thanks to modern technology, I can now write it up and mark in in my computer calendar so it will remind me to submit it next year. That's what happened here. This Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde parody popped into my head around Halloween 2017, but too late to submit it to the group. So I wrote it up and waited a 12 months.

I really liked the flow, the characters, the internal logic of the premise; it was a joy writing it up. I only wished they had done it (womp, womp). Then I waited a year to post it here (at least I think I did. I checked the blog and couldn't find it. I couldn't remember if I posted it or decided to wait for Halloween). So, here is...

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Sobriety

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past-2015

10/24/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

Some of my other favorite things were the rubber skull. It's my second. The rubber started to come apart on the first one I had (which was a rare find) and I was desperate for a replacement. Where did I find it? DisneyWorld. Grabbed it as soon as I saw it. My one disappointment? I saw these amazing Haunted Mansion Ghosts masks (which would have fit on my mechanical man really well) but I didn't buy one. They were pricey. I figured "next time." When we returned several years later, they no longer sold them. Drat. Anyway, years later I found blinking eye ball lights (for Jack o'Lanterns) and installed them in the skull. I always enjoyed the effect.

One year I bought a cauldron for the time I turned the mechanical man into a witch. Then I got a coffin. It was perfect! It folded up. The lid open and closed. It lit up at night! Some assembly required, however. But then I got a smoke machine and put that inside the coffin and it was awesome. So naturally, the man would be a vampire from time to time.

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past-2013

10/23/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

A big part of the decorations was my Halloween mix-tape. Since the mechanical man was build over a step ladder, that meant that I had a couple of shelves to store things under the gown that made up the figure. It was originally a mix-tape, as I recorded the classic Halloween music I had available; Monster Mash, Thriller, Purple People eater. The trick was recording some on the music off the radio. Each year, one of the local radio stations would pull Zacherly the Cool Ghoul out of mothballs and let him host a Halloween party on air. He pulled out all the more obscure creepy-themed pop-songs, A Night in a Haunted House, Frankenstein and other wacky novelty songs. Come Halloween, I would pop the cassette into the player insded the mechanical man and let it blast. I had to run out every 1/2 hour to flip it over to play the other side.

Then came digital music. When I got my first iPod, the first thing I had to figure was how to use it for Halloween. I gather up all the songs I knew from the older recordings and hunted the internet for more. Then sound effects! There were sound effect records at the library! I recorded that and added it in. Every year I would find another song or five to add. Real old songs (the Boogie Man) and recent songs as they appeared (Ghostbusters, Nightmare before Christmas). The songs go from Bing Crosby to Frank Zappa. I got a iPod speaker, I load it up and it plays for hours without me touching it! It's great. No one really hears it all but me. And I let it play as I slowly dismantle the man every Halloween evening. It's the last thing I disconnect. And only then is Halloween over.

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - 2012

10/22/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted below. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters.

This was our third year in our house, but only the second Halloween I decorated for (2010 was the year my mother-in-law passed away. We bought the house and didn't do Halloween big out of respect). Twenty-Twelve was the year of Hurricane Sandy, which knocked Staten Island on it's butt. We had no electricity for a couple of days. The best I could do was hook up my battery powered items. I had pulled in a lot of decorations because of the high winds predicted. A lot of stuff would have blown away.

Just to be clear, I put up some decorations, window stuff, lights, maybe some outdoor spiderwebs, but I would save the big stuff (and the battery-powered motion-activated things) for Halloween day. I took off Halloween and would set about setting up my set-up. Everything focused around the mechanical man, but I was always on the out-look for a good decoration. I had a floor mat that screamed when you stepped on it. The "Beware" sign was an early find. My favorite thing is the raven (Beware, the end it near! Ha-ha-ha-ha). I found that in a store in Manhattan. This was back before you had entire stores devoted to Halloween. Or the internet. Different department stores would make a Halloween department and it was it and miss. One card store by me could be counted on to have unique and unusual Halloween decorations-my favorite was a boxed display, a face stared out and seemed to follow you. Also, a suction cup creature and you would stick to the bottom of a window and it looked like it was peering out at you.

But Hurricane Sandy made it a quiet year.

Ghosts of Halloween Decorations Past - 2011

10/21/2019

I have been decorating my front door for Halloween for a couple of decades. I talked about it previously here. This year, however I won't be doing it up much. The reason? The premiere party for the movie noted to the left. I co-wrote a horror/comedy short a couple of years ago a the request of an actress. And, dang, if she didn't get it made! Anyway, the screening is Halloween night, so I won't be home for the trick-or-treaters. I'm excited by all this, but I'm a little melancholy about it, too. It's been over 10 years since I missed a Halloween, and that was because my co-worker went on vacation that week and I had to cover the desk.

Now, Halloween decorations aren't only decorations, they're an invitation to the kids that I am open for Halloween and I have candy. Frankly, if I'm not home, I really can't extend that invitation, so I went light on the decorations this year. But to mark the time, I've pulled out the videos I have that were digital (starting in 2011) and decided to post them here over the next few days. You'll know a lot of similarities from year to year, but I trying to mix it up, too.

comedy, writer, Dan Fiorella, Daniel fiorella, screenplay, sketches,radio,computer games, television writer