From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
So, for Halloween, I did a copy and paste; a bunch of quick ideas that were kicking around or used for prose, I pulled together for this series of brief commercials featuring lessor known horror movies. I worked them into other things, and heck, I may again, because these could be really spooky tales! They passed, so here it is:
Halloween Horrors
(GK, MN: Man, MD: Moderator, GL: Girl, WM: Woman)
GK: Later tonight on most of these public radio stations, a Halloween special, "Tales of Terror." Featuring a radio adaptation of the classic, "Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman"
(spooky music, thunder, wind)
MN: Good evening, Frankenstein. Allow me to introduce you to the Wolfman. Wolfman, this is Frankenstein.
(some grunts and growls)
GK: Also, "Godzilla vs. Mothra" in a moderated debate, each with level podiums, three minute time limit, questions asked by a single moderator and no reaction shots.
MD: (done in a typical "dubbed" voice.) Mr. Godzilla, you state that you are a friend of Tokoyo but Mothra points out, rightly, that you have destroyed the city as often as not. How do you respond to these allegations?"
(roars and sound FX)
GK: And "I was a Teenage Teenager," the gruesome tale of a young girl who hits puberty...
(thunder, wind, spooky music)
MN: Honey, what's that on your face?
GL: It's make-up!
(music sting. scream. Doorbell)
WM: Who's at the door?
GL: It's a boy. We're going on a date!
MN: Don't open the door!
(scream.)
GK: Tales of Terror, tonight on public radio.
end
GK: Later tonight on most of these public radio stations, a Halloween special, "Tales of Terror." Featuring a radio adaptation of the classic, "Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman"
(spooky music, thunder, wind)
MN: Good evening, Frankenstein. Allow me to introduce you to the Wolfman. Wolfman, this is Frankenstein.
(some grunts and growls)
GK: Also, "Godzilla vs. Mothra" in a moderated debate, each with level podiums, three minute time limit, questions asked by a single moderator and no reaction shots.
MD: (done in a typical "dubbed" voice.) Mr. Godzilla, you state that you are a friend of Tokoyo but Mothra points out, rightly, that you have destroyed the city as often as not. How do you respond to these allegations?"
(roars and sound FX)
GK: And "I was a Teenage Teenager," the gruesome tale of a young girl who hits puberty...
(thunder, wind, spooky music)
MN: Honey, what's that on your face?
GL: It's make-up!
(music sting. scream. Doorbell)
WM: Who's at the door?
GL: It's a boy. We're going on a date!
MN: Don't open the door!
(scream.)
GK: Tales of Terror, tonight on public radio.
end
