Right now I'm even to lazy to check to see if I included the sketch between the chapters of my book, "Halloweenies," where the Dad of the family is an aspiring writer and has written all these Halloween sketches to submit to people (Where does he get his ideas???). You can check it out over at Amazon...
It was a solid bit and I set it around, but it never got picked up anywhere. Maybe it's made up of too many clams, but I had fun with it. Maybe I even posted it during one of my Halloween runs in years past. Could be. But for Barely Home Companion, this was the next item up. So, enjoy
T.G.I.Friday the 13th
BK: Tired of the same old boring restaurants? Then maybe it's yime for you to drop in at T.G.I.Friday the 13th Bar & Grill. It's the grill with thrills, presenting the best of Transylvanian cusine...both northern and southern Transylvania. For a ghoulishly good time, there's nothing like a last meal at T.G.I.Friday the 13th's. Try one of our frighteningly good main courses, like spaghetti & eyeballs, potatoes au rotten or maybe some Ghoul-lash...made from real ghouls. How about a nice steak?
DR: No, thank you.
BK: Our Zombie waiters have been created to serve you with the utmost courtesy and care.
ZB: I'm Steve. I'll be you're zombie server tonight. Would you like to order some drinks?
WM: What do you recommend?
ZB: The zombies.
BK: Unwind with a drink so delicious, it's scary. Have a Bloody Mary or Frosty Franken-stein of beer to wash down one of our tasty appetizers. Try our Buffalo wings made from real Buffalo. Mozzella sticks made from real sticks. Have a lady finger?
BK: Come on in anytime. Have a rough week at work? Then you'll enjoy this:
WM: "It's my boss! On a meat hook!!!"
BK: Bring the family for one of our mouthwatering kiddie meals, made from real kiddies.
MN: Did you say kitties? Baby cats?
BK: No, I said kiddies, small children.
MN: Oh. Okay, then.
BK: So whether you're an early-riser or a night crawler, you'll have something to scream about at T.G.I.Friday the 13th's.