Category: - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

The Nick Files: Cupid is as Cupid Does

3/31/2022

Through an amazing string of events and much confusion on my part, I submitted my award-winning script, "Cupid is as Cupid Does" to the Radio Theater Project in St. Petersburg in Florida (thinking it was some other group). Turns out they enjoyed the script and wanted to produce it! So, I sent them a couple of other Nick Files scripts I had written and they decided they were open to producing them! They do their shows monthly, usually the last week, and this was from their February show, so the Cupid script worked for their Valentine-themed show of multiple scripts. Just this week they produced another episode, "The Leprechaun Con" which worked for St. Patrick's Day in March. As soon as they post that I'll post it here as well. It's interesting to think that I've created a radio "series" of sorts. Right now RTP is sitting on 4 additional scripts. And because of that, I began another 2 scripts that I'll be sending them shortly.

Nick Flebber was created for my Christmas script "Lost Claus" and I've since spun him off into new adventures and cases. The first couple of scripts were cobbled out of a couple of TV scripts I wrote for that pitch. Then I pulled out my old research and ideas and started some original audio plays off the confidence I gained from my fractured success with other contests and stuff. RTP really put me over the top, being open to all the scripts. I hope people are noticing.

Anyway, if you enjoy the Nick Files, check out his other adventures on Amazon.

The Radio Theatre Project · The Nick Files Cupid Is As Cupid Does Written by Dan Fiorella

Barely Home Companion-Guy Noir Saves Christmas (Dec. 02)

12/6/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This sketch is a part of a much larger narrative. I talked about it here, but to recap; while my screenplay "Lost Claus" was kicking around, I decided to adapt it into a sketch for PHC. The sketch is essentially the opening scene from the screenplay and a reworked interview scene at the North Pole with Santa's daughter. Oh, and the confrontation with the villain. And then kind of leapfrogged to the happy ending. I thought it was pretty amazing. PHC passed. Happily, the sketch version went on to some greener pastures. I turned it into a flat out radio script and began submitting it around. It won a contest and was produced (here). It was then later produced by another radio troupe.

In retrospect, it was probably a long shot a best. It was pretty long (Almost 20 pages). I thought I nailed Guy Noir pretty well. It was filled

Guy Noir Saves Christmas

Prairie Home Companion - Autumn Basket of Cheer (Oct. 2002)

10/13/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is actually a sketch tale and not a skit happens post, as this sketch made it in. I got a lot of nice feedback on this one. It's my homerun. Granted, they rearranged it a lot; GK is out and a regular announcer is in. The annoyed husband is now the wife.

Autumn Basket of Cheer

Barely Home Companion - NPR NEWS FLASH (March 2002)

4/23/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

So, it was time to recycle some material. I've recycled this bit so many times, I've forgotten when I did it. It was a parody of local newscasts that would race to be the first ones on the scene and their live reports were pointless because they didn't know anything, because they just rushed to the scene and went on air. My favorite would be the newscopter that would hover over a scene and try to explain what was going on from hundreds of feet in the air! So I took it to the next level, where the newsvan and helicopters were actually affecting the events or they were trying to create mayhem so they could report it. I submitted it to a summer network pilot, "Where's the Party" and they used some parts. A few years I reworked it for radio. PHC had introduced some characters who did breaking news, so I adapted it to that. PHC didn't use the bit. I re-worked it again and it got picked up by one of the radio syndicators I freelanced for, and they broke it up, (as written) into a running gag. I'll attach all the versions after the PHC version. It's one of those solid bits I wrote that eventually found a home. Yay!

NPR NEWS FLASH

Barely Home Companion - The Noisy Awards (March 2002)

3/19/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

As March approaches, we were deep into award season. You had the Emmys, the Tonys, the Grammys, so why not the Noisys? It seemed like the perfect set-up to do one of PHC's patented SFX bits; an off-beat excuse to allow Tom Keith to run through his assortment of sound-making toys. It's a short bit with a lot of silly pun-like sound cues and I thought it worked quite well. I don't recall trying to foist it on to the other radio outlets I was dealing with, they were all dealing with pop music outlets and probably wouldn't consider a sound-effects heavy bit, even if we could tie it to awards season. Needless to say, PHC took a pass on it.

The Noisy Awards

Barely Home Companion - The Hawaiian Rule (1/02)

1/5/2021

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

I've forgotten what an overhaul this sketch had gotten from my submission. The show was since on its road trip and was doing the show from Hawaii. I broke the cardinal rule of writing for PHC, doing TV references. And that little bit of the bit is simply a set up to the main part of the sketch, a SFX skit about coconuts, which I had totally forgotten about. So, Garrison actually took my premise that the FCC requires all broadcast shows to do episodes from Hawaii, and swapped out my TV references (Brady Bunch, Sanford and Son) with other dated TV references like Mr. Ed, Gomer Pyle, Ed Sullivan...and Arthur Godfrey.). Obviously, they turned it into a bit that showcased Tim Russell vocal talents. Some of my references (I Love Lucy, Elvis) got in but vastly reworked. I guess because of that, I got no on air or online credit for the bit. But the SFX half is a pretty good, silly premise with the usual type of SFX antics. Sorry that didn't make it in.

The full show ishere. I put the broadcast version of the sketch below.

The Hawaiian Rule

Barely Home Companion - Taliban 12/22/01

12/22/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Meanwhile, back at life in post 9/11...With the hunt on for Osama Bin Laden after the terrorist attacks, there were lots of reports of where he was alleged to be. And he kept releasing videos. And kept declaring one jihad after another, to keep his base energized. And that's where the idea for this sketch came from, that he's in the cave reduced to declaring jihads on every little annoyance. Seemed like a classic sketch premise.

Now what they did to it was use the premise, use the gags, reorder them, reword them and then have it wander off into some weird winter wonderland bit. And for that, the credit reads:

© Garrison Keillor 2001, additional material by Dan Fiorella

I often joked that Garrison Keillor was exactly the kind of guy the WGA was created to fight. As I've said before, GK was pretty random with credits and here is the strongest display of his randomness. It's obviously my work, tinkered with. I am hardly the "additional material," he is. Hey, yeah, it's been a long time, but if I just silently accept it, the terrorists win. But as some outsider, I was grateful to be reminded that they were still reading my submissions and seeing stuff good enough to use. And pay for. Here's my version of the skit followed by the broadcast version that PHC archived here.

Bin Laden, Done That

Barely Home Companion - Being North Dakota (Dec. 2001)

12/15/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Here's one of those times it sucks to be a stringer. They were doing another road show. So I did some research and one of the news items for North Dakota back in 2001 was an effort to re-name the state. That sounded like a solid premise for a sketch. So I wrote it up and submitted it. And they used it. Or rather, re-purposed it. A truncated version of the bit winds up in that week's Guy Noir adventure, as the premise to kick off his latest case. Just mentioning the idea of renaming the state got a huge laugh. After that, they just run through the gag names without much commitment and then they go off on a lot bit about a finished basement and accents. But, the check cleared, and I picked up shared credit on the skit:

© Garrison Keillor, Dan Fiorella 2001

So, here's the original skit and what they broadcasted. The link to the full bit on the PHC site is here.

Being North Dakota

Barely Home Companion: Take Two (01/01)

1/17/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

This is one of those Barely Home Companion tales that has a happier ending. Since I never throw anything out, a few years after this got rejected by PHC, I submitted it to another radio content producer and they produced it! It's a straight-forward comedy sketch. In no way did I even attempt to tie it into the PHC format or regulars. It was just a funny audio bit. It's another one of those thing where I don't remember how or where it came from. After the script, I'm including the audio from the version that did get made.

Take Two

Barely Home Companion - Bush State o'Union Address 2004

1/13/2020

From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...

Back in 2004 there wasn't a heck of a lot of post-State Of The Union follow-up comedy. But that year Bush took a moment to speak out against steroid use in baseball, and while it is a valid concern, many wondered why it came up in a SOTU address. But that remark was the inspiration for a sketch: other things the President didn't get to bring up or fully explain. The bit went well and was surprisingly true to the script I submitted. Yet, there was no credit for me, on air or on the website. I noticed that there's no credit for Keillor online either.

This is a bitter sweet sketch for me, it's the last sketch of mine that they used. I actually continued to submit to the show for the remainder of the 2003-2004 season, and the next two beyond--I was even sending material well into 2007, and occasionally after that--but none of it was acknowledged. I was not really fired, no one asked me to go away, I just petered out. I just wasn't making the cut and after a while of that I just stopped sending things in. It was sad and frustrating but unsurprising based on all my previous experience there.

Writing is a solitary profession. I always dreamed of joining that comedy room or being part of a team. I wanted to belong to something that I wanted to belong to. Style Without Substance, the WGAE, the Plague, PHC, workshops, but something always eluded me. Sometimes they ended and it felt like I was dropped to the curb. Mostly it involves my lack of social skills, I'm civil, personable but I'm an introvert and can't exist outside my comfort zone for long. When my excuse for being with people ends, I am incapable of maintaining that relationship. It's happened with classmates, committee members and co-writers. I just retreat to my hidey-hole and look for the next place to mail by submissions out to.

Years ago, I was once talking with my friend; we were both writing and we both had day jobs. I hadn't really told anyone at work about what I did on the side and I asked him if he had. He promptly said no. And it was never something he considered. To him, "writer" was his secret identity and his super power. Sometimes I forget that. I'm a writer. Yes, there's the day job and the family and the chores and the kids, but the core issue remains; I'm a writer. And the fact is, working on this blog has reminded me of that. It's not a stellar career but it it mind.

Anyway, on Jan. 24, 2004, PHC presented my State o'Union sketch (with my original script posted below).

Bush State o'Union Address 2004

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