From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Come the end of October, I was bouncing between political stuff and Halloween stuff. In one of those rare moments this late in the game, I came up with 2 sketches for the last show in October. This is the political one. What kind of commercial would you put out there if you were running for Dogcatcher in that time of going negative in ads, with a slight hint of 9/11 patriotism. Although it wasn't selected, I thought it would go something like this:
Dogcatcher
(GK, TK, HB: Harold Baker)
GK: We'll return after this paid political message.
TK: There are dogs in the woods. David Markem says he can catch them. But based on his record, how do we know he can? This town needs a dogcatcher it can trust. Can we go back to the old pre-9/11 ways of catching dogs? Some of those dogs could be rabid. Some of the dogs could even be dingos. But with David Markem as dogcatcher, how will we ever know?
We need dogs caught. And when we catch them, we need to put them down. We need Harold Baker. Vote for Harold Baker for dogcatcher. Don't vote for David Markem. I repeat, do not, under any circumstances, vote for David Markem.
HB: I'm Harold Baker and I approved this message.
end
GK: We'll return after this paid political message.
TK: There are dogs in the woods. David Markem says he can catch them. But based on his record, how do we know he can? This town needs a dogcatcher it can trust. Can we go back to the old pre-9/11 ways of catching dogs? Some of those dogs could be rabid. Some of the dogs could even be dingos. But with David Markem as dogcatcher, how will we ever know?
We need dogs caught. And when we catch them, we need to put them down. We need Harold Baker. Vote for Harold Baker for dogcatcher. Don't vote for David Markem. I repeat, do not, under any circumstances, vote for David Markem.
HB: I'm Harold Baker and I approved this message.
end
