Category: - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Sketchy Tales: Christmas Edition - Do You Know Your Secret Santa Claus?

12/9/2018

As American Comedy wound down, I was starting to download audio files of all my produced bits they did. And I found this one late in the game. I'm sure I've mention it before on the blog, but it was the first piece they bought from me. What a hoot, right? It got a massive rewrite, however. The song was lifted from a script I had written, a family comedy about a Christmas pageant and I wanted a bit where the kids would write a Christmas song. I had the song kicking around, based on "Do you know the way to San Jose." And it was more like "Do you know the ways of Santa Claus" about gift giving. So, still, it was a beginning.
ETA:
Hey, I found a version of it in my script of "Christmas Carol." It's included now! Compare and contrast!

Sketchy Tales is brought to you by "Lost Claus" the Christmas Comedy Caper that's more fun than a barrel full of elves! Get you copy today at Amazon.com!

Do You Know Your Secret Santa Claus

Sketchy Tales: Christmas Edition -Twelve PHC Days of Christmas

12/6/2018

This is one of those quirky moments with my time on Prairie Home Companion (which I'm planning to take on in the future) and by quirky, I mean Garrison Keillor actually credited me on this bit and even has my name as the copyright holder, which I assume is a song writing thing for him. They did change it a bit, but I must honestly say I was surprised that it made the cut. It's a silly little trifle, but I guess it struck somebody's funny bone. I apologize for the quality of the sound on this bit and all the PHC bits...I had to literally record them off the website. They only streamed the audio and I couldn't get the guy to send me an audio file for beans. I had to get a special cord (thanks & farewell, Radio Shack) that I could plug into the ear jack and plug into the mic jack to play it on one window and record it with some software. Technology, amirite?

We present this comedy to remind you that my Christmas Comedy Caper, Lost Claus is available over at Amazon. So buy your copy today and avoid the holiday rush!

Sketchy Tales: Halloween Flashback- Bag o'Leaves

10/7/2018

I always got a nice reception to this bit. Written for and produced by the Prairie Home Companion team in October 2002. Granted, it's more on an Autumn piece, then a Halloween piece, but, hey, 'tis that season. I was very excited when they did this bit, it's the first time of a very few, that they did one of my scripts verbatim. Such a talented group.

Halloween Flashback-War of the Worms

10/5/2018

The directors cut of the On the Air Radio Players production of 1/3 of my submission.

Halloween Flashback - Watch Vampires

10/1/2018

As was often the case, if ACN passed on a sketch of mine, it got submitted to All Star Radio, who would, as often as not, buy and produce it. As they did with this bit from Aug 2012, at the height of "Twilight" mania. But fits in perfectly for our holiday theme.

Halloween Flashback - Dancing with the Monsters

10/1/2018

I was lucky enough to stumble on a company, the late American Comedy Network which produced and syndicated comedy bits to radio stations across the nation. They liked a nice assortment of evergreen bits and topical comedy, torn from the day's headlines. Oh, and how they liked pop culture. TV parodies became my thing. And I quickly fell into the promo/commercial format for the show I was parodying, which was only natural, as the bit s had to be short, 30 seconds to like 2 minutes max. They passed on a lot, but I got quite a bit of things produced. And when it came to the holidays, oh, man, I was all over them. For instance, from Oct 2008, an original bit written for and produced by American Comedy Network...

War of the Worms

6/18/2013

Well, at long last, The On The Air Radio Players produced my 3rd place winning script, "War of the Worms" which they excerpted from my radio play "Tales From the Nether Regions." They posted the full show on their site, here. But, since I can't leave well enough alone, I tweaked it a bit and did some edits and SFX and I'm loading it here:

RIP ACN

2/6/2013

Just found out today that American Comedy Network has shut its doors. Where will wacky DJs get their material from now?
It was a good run and I had some amazing bits produced by them, several of them I've posted here.

First Newsbusted cuts me loose as they cut back their product (even though they had pretty much cut back on me for the last 6 months) and now this. Bummer.

Who Done It Better?

12/12/2012

Man, I know it's the nature of writing to be re-written. I've had punchlines altered that simpy killed the joke or the meaning behind it, but this was a punch to the gut. Came up with a song parody about the PC-ing of Christmas. I thought it was clever and funny and made a point. Sold it. Outside of the first two lines, it was changed. Maybe they went back to the point in their closing lines, but maybe it's too late or I'm too close:

Having a Secular Christmas Time
(Having a Wonderful Christmas Time)
By Dan Fiorella

Lawsuits filed, the manger’s gone
Hey you carolers get off my lawn
Simply having a secular Christmas Time
Simply having a secular Christmas Time

The songs are pop, the tree’s austere
The war on Christmas’ in high gear
Simply having a secular Christmas Time
Simply having a secular Christmas Time

I’ve forbade the children’s Christmas play
Now they sing “Jingle all the way”
Ding-dong, Ding-dong, ding-dong; Avon lady’s come.

The meal’s vegan, the Santa’s bland
The tree’s just pine; Nativity’s banned
Simply having a secular Christmas Time
Simply having a secular Christmas Time

Now Playing

8/23/2012

"The Expendables 2" is now in theaters. I parodied the original. Through one of those creative flukes, I sold two different versions of the same idea to two different producers. Let's check them out:

First, the version from All Star Radio, which stayed close to my script:

The the version from American Comedy Network and took the idea in a (slightly) different direction:

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