Category: - Dan Fiorella: Writer @ large

Dan Fiorella

Leave it to the Prose: Christmas Edition - Other Things The Mayan Calendar Got Wrong

12/27/2018

There were a couple of New Year's Eves where people were worried that it would be the last. 2013, for instance, where the Mayan calendar ended it's configurations, so, naturally, everyone assumed time was up, because ancient civilizations could really be counted on for that type of information. I was deep into my "list" phase, where all my prose material came out as lists of something or other. I wrote up this bit and sent it to The Big Jewel, optimistically in 2012, figuring "what are the odds of the world actually ending?" I post it here, it links back to The Big Jewel.

We present this holiday comedy to remind you that my Christmas Comedy Caper, "Lost Claus" is available over at Amazon. So buy your copy today and avoid the mid-holiday rush!

Skit Happens: Kwanzaa Edition - Sing-a-Long

12/26/2018

Do I have any business writing a Kwanzaa song parody? See a need, fill a need. I saw a lacking of graduation songs, so I wrote a couple. And did we really need a bunch of new Christmas song parodies? Not really, but I did them anyway! Sure, maybe trying to merge Kwanzaa with an old Englebert Humperdink bassa nova song was an iffy idea at best, but now that the holiday is here and I have a blog to fill, we'll post it! Ha!

This edition of Skit Happens is brought to you by "Lost Claus" the snappy Christmas comedy mystery! It's a Chris-mystery! Leaping Yule Logs, Santa's missing! And only one man can find him, Nick Flebber, PI. Get your copy today at Amazon!

Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa

(to "Quando, Quando, Quando")

So, it's not just Christmas time
Happy Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa
Getting presents is just fine
Not just Angola currency

Got no tree or holly wreath
Happy Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa
No mistletoe to stand beneath
But we got all our first fruits.

Celebrate for eight days
Every day just has a theme
Let me show you my maize
Or give you a brand new book.

Seven principals so bright
Happy Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa, Kwanzaa
Seven days of candle light
But it's not like Hanukkah!

Sketchy Tales: Christmas Edition - The Nick Files: Lost Claus

12/25/2018

This is a special bit for me. As I've described elsewhere, Lost Claus was a labor of love for me. And it was often in my thoughts. It was a screenplay and a book. I created a radio play of it and submitted it as a Guy Noir audio play. The parallels were very strong between my Nick Flebber and Guy Noir, since they were both broader takes on the typical Hollywood private eye. Anyway, PHC passed. I salvaged that and converted it back into a radio adaption to submit to radio troupes that I found online. One group ran a contest and I entered and finished in the money, which meant they performed my piece as part of their show. I got a copy and preserved it here. It starts out all "Lost Claus" but the ending I hijacked off of something else I had written many years before, a comic book that I made to goof on my days at K-mart, which I passed around to my co-workers. That's where the character Ebeneezer J. Grinch was born, as a stingy store manager trying to lock down Christmas.

And, of course, Skit Happens is brought to you by "Lost Claus," the hilarious tale of abduction, blackmail and elves. What happens when Santa goes missing? Find out in "Lost Claus" available at Amazon!

Dan Fiorella · The Nick FIles - Lost Claus

Sketchy Tales: Christmas Edition - Christmas Eve Crisis

12/24/2018

This is a sweet little sketch I wrote many moons ago. Naturally, I submitted it around to everyone and received a lot of rejections. I actually wrote a summer sequel to it anyway, "Mid-Summer Crisis." Then I stumbled across a Craig's Listing from the Charles Stewart Howard Playhouse for an annual Christmas show they did. It was an evening of "short plays, 10 minute maximum" which to me means "sketch." I pulled out several of my bits and sent them out. This one got in and was performed. The only record of the night were photos they posted online, which I grabbed.

If you liked this holiday bit, you'll love my book, Lost Claus, the story of a tough PI and an elf who have to save Christmas. It's over at Amazon. Buy a copy today! Yule be glad you did!

Christmas Eve Crisis

Skit Happens: Christmas Caroling Edition 3

12/23/2018

Well, the "Red Christmas" is very recent, written earlier this month for TMI: Hollywood. I just saw it as a quick little cold opening number; sing while the photos were displayed. I submitted it with the note telling them I couldn't decide to send it then, because it was the big news story (for about an hour) or wait until the following week for the TMI Christmas show because it was Christmas. I would let them decide. As far as I know, neither happened. Since then, there's been a ton of "Red Christmas" parodies, so I just want to get mine out there. "Dissing" is an older bit that went out to the radio people without a hit, so we present it here...

This edition of Skit Happens is brought to you by "Lost Claus" the snappy comedy mystery! Leaping Yule Logs, Santa's missing! And only one man can find him, Nick Flebber, PI. Get your copy today at Amazon!

Red Christmas I Saw Mommy Dissing Santa Claus

Skit Happens: Christmas Edition - The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

12/22/2018

I had forgotten about this skit until we watched "A Christmas Carol" recently and it reminded me about one of the aspects of the film. Hey, look, I love "A Christmas Carol" and most of the movie versions of the story. I've see almost all of them, and a lot of them dozens of times. And after awhile, things start to occur to you, as they would of any story you've seen a hundred times. And as a writer, these are going to become skits. It can't be helped, it's how my brain works. Weirdly, I found this draft of the skit in my prose folder. I think I may have planned to rewrite it again. Which seems like a solid idea. Maybe it'll pop up somewhere next year!

This edition of Skit Happens is brought to you by "Lost Claus" the snappy comedy mystery! Leaping Yule Logs, Santa's missing! And only one man can find him, Nick Flebber, PI. Get your copy today at Amazon!

The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come

Skit Happens: Christmas Edition - Caroling 2

12/21/2018

Song parodies can be exhilarating or excruciating. Sometimes the whole thing just tumbles out of your, the words scan the song beautifully. Other times it's like pulling teeth. With the 'net, it's a lot easier, with rhyming dictionaries and such, but I have a lot of files that are catchy, punny song titles and not much else. Again, Christmas is something that can be evergreen, unless you use the a pop song that's going to fall out of circulation until the next oldies station decides to focus on the 2010's. But a lot of times, it's the perfect way to nail current events. Or, here, just to have fun for the holidays.

If you liked this holiday bit, you'll love my book, Lost Claus, the story of a tough PI and an elf who have to save Christmas. It's over at Amazon. Buy a copy today! I'll be glad you did!

Coal Me Maybe Snow Angel

Skit Happens: Christmas Edition - Springsteen Holiday Jam

12/20/2018

When is a Christmas skit not a Christmas skit? When it covers all the holidays! Similar to my Bobby Pickett Sings Halloween bit, this takes the idea of Springsteen trying to expand his Christmas hit to include the other holidays. It's from 2012, for the radio people, and was reworked to a stage bit (with little effort) and sent around, 'til it wound up here.

If you liked this bit of holiday fun, you'll love my book, Lost Claus, the story of a tough PI and an elf who have to save Christmas. It's over at Amazon. Buy a copy today! Yule be glad you did!

Springsteen Holiday Jam

Skit Happens: Christmas Caroling Edition

12/19/2018

Writing Christmas song parodies out of actual Christmas songs is easy. Just try writing Christmas song parodies out of other Top 40 pop song hits. Then you got something. And what I got is a lot of song parodies that didn't go any where, except here.

We present this Christmas comedy to remind you that my Christmas Comedy Caper, Lost Claus is available over at Amazon. So buy your copy today and avoid the holiday rush!

Christmas Day Christmas!

Skit Happens: Christmas Edition - Sid's Swim Center

12/18/2018

I found it! As I mentioned yesterday when I posted "Hal's Recycled Tree Lot," that skit was a brother to this sketch. This was a skit from my college days. I forget the reason we wrote it, I don't recall having a venue for it. We often wrote things for the heck of it back then. It was good practice for spending the rest of my life writing things for no reason. But the big tradition in the Northeast is swimming pool dealerships which would start selling Christmas items in the off-season. They were the original places that sold the big over-sized house decorations long before every store carried inflatable lawn displays. So, we thought it would be funny to watch one guy buck the trend. I found this version of the skit re-formatted for submission to the Prairie Home Companion show. It has a very SCTV vibe to it which would slide off into Python absurdity. It's a fun, short bit.

This edition of Skit Happens is brought to you by "Lost Claus" the snappy comedy mystery! Leaping Yule Logs, Santa's missing! And only one man can find him, Nick Flebber, PI. Get your copy today at Amazon!

Sid's Swim Center

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