Lions & Tigers and Beards, Oh My!
When I was a kid, tattoos and beards were the domain of sailors, bikers and tough guys. These are people who were tough, rugged individuals, using tattoos to denote significant touchstones in their lives; the ports they visited, the battles they served, or that hooker in San Diego. Beards were worn by mountain men, pirates and lumberjacks, people who lived off the beaten trail, and weren’t concerned about things like razors or personal hygiene. In other words, people with tattoos and beards could beat me up. Now, I feel I can defeat most people with beards and tattoos by misspelling their names on a Starbucks cup.
It’s supposed to be “outlaw” to get a tattoo, but how outlaw can it be if you’re getting it at that Tattoo Shack at the mall, next to the GAP? Beards were for the outdoors man, who didn’t have access to things like running water, a supply of razors or mustache wax. Now that anyone can have one, most everyone will. And I’m sure women are working on a way to sport unkempt, scraggly beards as we speak. Yes, it a world of nonconformists, it’s good to make sure you’re all nonconformist the same way.
Anyway, I’m off to invest all my money in tattoo removal technology. And razors.