From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... I had some succession with a SOTU address back in 2004, so I figured I'd attack it again, with a preview in 2005. Didn't get picked. It's an okay bit. The negative campaign ad? I'd actually turn that into a running bit over at ACN radio for elections involving the Pope, the American Idol, and a Iraqi president, so something came of it. Anyway, here's W's speech preview:
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Here's the second part of my Christmas 2-fer. The Florida Radio Project produced my piece, "A Candy Cane Christmas." This idea has been bouncing around my head for ages. The Hallmark Christmas machine has gotten out of hand the last few years, churning these holiday rom-coms out to the extend that it's spilled over into 2 other cable channels. I like to think I was poking fun of it first, but the pop culture zeitgeist has definitely zeroed in on it, from SNL sketches to Comedy Central movie parodies and back to Hallmark, which has started to poke fun at itself in a couple of recent movies. The sketch had made the rounds to various comedy outlets, with little success (try finding a stage troupe that also does Christmas shows). I then incorporated it in to MY version of a holiday rom-com, a screenplay I wrote called "Merry Broadcast." The Florida group did a great job with it and the audience was onboard, so enjoy A Candy Cane Christmas:
Weekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site. I always hesitate when this kind of topic is offered, titillate. I'm a prude. I don't like working blue. And when people dive into this opening, it always feels kind of crass. But, in for a penny, in for a pound. I try to go for clever over crude, the double entendre or pun on the title, not that I always succeed. I managed to grind out 15 or so and 10 got picked, so I guess that's a victory. WH posted it over that their (ad-heavy) site, so check it out! Meanwhile, I have to start submitting some legitimate articles to them again.
Back in December, I had a 2-for of Christmas cheer. The Florida Radio Project did two of my scripts. First (second will be another post), they did a new version of "The Nick Files: Lost Claus." After having written a couple of radio adaptions of my Nick Flebber stories I took a look back at "Lost Claus" which was, to be honest, a glorified radio sketch that was a cross between my original screenplay and a comic story I made to parody my old K-mart job. So, I attempted to fill it out with some scenes from the original versions and beef up my page count/run time to 30 minutes. Then I sent it out. And it sleigh-ed the audience. Ha! Check it out for yourself:
From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... Okay, I've been off the grid for a couple of weeks and have fallen behind. If I thought anyone was reading the blog, I might be upset about that. But for now, let's try to catch up. It's no mid-January and I want to post the January 2005 skits I submitted to PHC as we enter the second half of the 04-05 season. Reading this bit I have to admit I don't know what I was thinking. Finding Neverland was in the air, with a movie and play kicking around. They were about the author of Peter Pan. Then there was the whole Michael Jackson legal action going on about what allegedly happened on his Neverland ranch. Sure, there was the possibility of a sketch here. But for PHC? No way! Anyway, I wrote it up and submitted it. They passed on it, which really isn't a surprise. It was short. It was topical. It never stood a chance. Escaping NeverlandWeekly Humorist, a humor magazine I often submit to and occasionally get in, runs these Hashtag Games on Twitter (X), where they name a topic and we submit humorous responses. These games play right into my gag reflex, so I always throw up something. I've taken to setting my calendar to get online every Wednesday to "play" (and by "play" I mean submit content to their website for free--I like to think of it as pun bono work). I always submit a bunch of them on X (Twitter) and some of them get selected for inclusion to their online site. Full disclosure, I was off the grid for a couple of weeks and my Google calendar reminded me about the game. Musicians. Food. I'll admit, my heart wasn't fully in it, but I managed to come up with 15 or so. Five made the cut. There were some solid entries here, so I was lucky to get in, I think. From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... One of those sketches I have no recollection of. What inspired it? Beats me. Not a wrestling fan. PHC had turned Jesse Venture into a reoccurring character on the show. Wrestling was big again, bouncing between cable and broadcast TV. The various smackdown shows were big POV. Obviously, I wrote it but why did I ever think PHC would use it? I can't say. Anyway, there didn't, so here it is... Christmas SmackdownIt seems that brokerage house, Oppenheimer, put a lot of money earlier this year into a new slogan, “The Power of Oppenheimer Thinking.” Then Hollywood released the movie “Oppenheimer” about the creation of the highly destructive WMD and the company had to put it all on the back burner. In fact, they had to issue a FAQ to help explain to customers any connections between the movie and the company (spoiler alert: there aren’t any). They even felt the need to address Barbenheimer, in a sidebar. After the fuss over the movie faded, the company started to roll out the new slogan anew. Now, award season is gearing up and the movie about the atomic bomb is back in the news. Frankly, the company missed a real opportunity by not trying to piggyback on the success of the motion picture. So, we had the focus groups come up with some new slogans: “The Nuclear Power of Oppenheimer Thinking” “Oppenheimer: Getting you results faster than a missile.” “Giving you the ammunition to succeed, that’s Oppenheimer!” “We’ll detonate your future: Oppenheimer” “Opening an account with Oppenheimer? Dyn-O-Mite!” “Oppenheimer: Making cash is a blast.” “Open an account with Oppenheimer and watch the fireworks!” “Oppenheimer: Watch your investments blow up!” “Investing with explosive results; Oppenheimer!” “Oppenheimer: We da bomb!” From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things... I kinda covered this sketch back in 2018 here. It started with the age-old question: What is the deal with that Dolly? It's a couple of quick jokes about defective toys meeting up with the Misfit toys, so get it, make some gags and get out. Was doing a parody of a 40-year old TV special too pop-culture for PHC? Who knows. I thought it was a solid little sketch. The fact that I was able to dust it off and expand upon it years later means it was a good premise that got better with each execution. PHC passed, so as part of our look at Christmas past, here is... The Island of Recalled ToysI'm very happy that this piece found a home. It's been a prose piece, a radio sketch and a version of it is in my screenplay, "Merry Broadcast." And now it's a prose piece again. Hope we get some eyeballs on it As we are aware, the holidays are not always a season of cheer for all people. It’s beyond the “holiday blues” that we’ve all heard about. And it’s a bit beyond medical science. Let’s look into the holiday’s maladies and try to steer clear of Sickmas and resist the general feeling of no wellness. Find out how on Weekly Humorist!
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Dan FiorellaFreelance writer, still hacking away. Archives
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