From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Again, quick bit, pop culture, TV parody. Three strikes. I thought maybe the PHC crowd would enjoy mocking the FOX crowd. This was when FOX was deep in it's "When Bad Things Happen to People" phase, with horrible videos of terrible things. It was all based on the idea that you can't stop watching a train wreck, so why not televise train wrecks. I thought by adding some SFX, it might get considered, but no, it was not.
Fox Sweeps
(announcer, critic 1, critic 2)
ANNOUCER: They are terrible things, horrible to look at, yet you can't turn away. And now they're on FOX! This sweeps period the Fox Television network presents "Car Accidents, Train Wrecks and Plane Crashes," from the producers of "When Celebrities Attack" and "Who Wants to Marry My Ho?" watch the most amazing accidents...
(car horns, Tires squeal, crash)
ANNOUCNER: The biggest wrecks...
(train whistle, crash)
ANNOUCER: The most spectacular crashes...
(jet noises, crash)
ANNOUNCER: All together on one FOX program. Here's what TV critics are saying about "Car Accidents, Train Wrecks and Plane Crashes."
(Crash noises)
CRITIC 1: It was horrible, but I couldn't look away.
(crash noises)
CRITIC 2: I didn't want to watch, but I just keep watching.
ANNOUNCER: If it's sweeps period then it's positively FOX. "Car Accidents, Train Wrecks and Plane Crashes" coming soon on FOX. It's like rubber necking in your living room.
end
ANNOUCER: They are terrible things, horrible to look at, yet you can't turn away. And now they're on FOX! This sweeps period the Fox Television network presents "Car Accidents, Train Wrecks and Plane Crashes," from the producers of "When Celebrities Attack" and "Who Wants to Marry My Ho?" watch the most amazing accidents...
(car horns, Tires squeal, crash)
ANNOUCNER: The biggest wrecks...
(train whistle, crash)
ANNOUCER: The most spectacular crashes...
(jet noises, crash)
ANNOUNCER: All together on one FOX program. Here's what TV critics are saying about "Car Accidents, Train Wrecks and Plane Crashes."
(Crash noises)
CRITIC 1: It was horrible, but I couldn't look away.
(crash noises)
CRITIC 2: I didn't want to watch, but I just keep watching.
ANNOUNCER: If it's sweeps period then it's positively FOX. "Car Accidents, Train Wrecks and Plane Crashes" coming soon on FOX. It's like rubber necking in your living room.
end
