From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
-This is a quick tossed off commercial parody that's a bit depressing. Medicine commercial parodies have been around forever. I even did one for Cracked magazine. Frankly, I was probably in the dumps when I wrote this. I'm shocked I actually bothered to put a fake med at the end and didn't just leave it as a lecture about how lousy your life is and of course you're depressed. It didn't get used and no one else picked it up. Again, the premise is a clam and the joke delivery system is a trope as well, so I can't say I was much surprised by its rejection. Fortunately, I had Happitol to get me through it.
Get Undepressed
TK: Do you feel listless? Tired? Are your sleep patterns altered? Is your appetite off? Disinterested in life?
SS: Yes, I am.
TK: Things are classic symptoms of depression. If you are suffering these symptoms for more than two weeks, you may be suffering from clinical depression. Do you know what causes depression?
SS: Um, chemical imbalances in the neutrons?
TK: No, it's your lousy life.
SS: Oh, wow. I had no idea.
TK: Oh, come on. You never go out. Your job is menial. You have no love life.
SS: That's certainly true.
TK: You got nothing to look forward to, so of course you're depressed.
SS: Wow. This is bumming me out even further. What should I do? Quit my job? Join a dating service? Take some night courses?
TK: Sure, you could go through all the time and expense of doing one or all of those, or you can take new Happitol.
SS: Happitol? Sounds, I don't know, happy.
TK: Exactly.
SS: And Happitol will make my life better?
TK: I didn't say that. It'll just make your life seem better.
SS: Actually, that sounds attractive, too.
TK: We thought it might. So get undepressed the Happitol way.
GK: Yes, Happitol, the little yellow pill that will cure the blues.
end
SS: Yes, I am.
TK: Things are classic symptoms of depression. If you are suffering these symptoms for more than two weeks, you may be suffering from clinical depression. Do you know what causes depression?
SS: Um, chemical imbalances in the neutrons?
TK: No, it's your lousy life.
SS: Oh, wow. I had no idea.
TK: Oh, come on. You never go out. Your job is menial. You have no love life.
SS: That's certainly true.
TK: You got nothing to look forward to, so of course you're depressed.
SS: Wow. This is bumming me out even further. What should I do? Quit my job? Join a dating service? Take some night courses?
TK: Sure, you could go through all the time and expense of doing one or all of those, or you can take new Happitol.
SS: Happitol? Sounds, I don't know, happy.
TK: Exactly.
SS: And Happitol will make my life better?
TK: I didn't say that. It'll just make your life seem better.
SS: Actually, that sounds attractive, too.
TK: We thought it might. So get undepressed the Happitol way.
GK: Yes, Happitol, the little yellow pill that will cure the blues.
end
