From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
Before Trump got "elected," it was pretty much agreed that Bush 2 was the worse president (the fact that Trump hates George W. makes us pretty sure Trump knows this, too). George was an easy target and PHC had "him" on multiple times over the years. In fact, my last produced sketch was a Bush bit earlier in 2004). So, with Christmas coming and the Great Recession in full swing, it was time to combine the two for this sketch. Didn't make it, even though it would have killed in NYC.
George Xmas
GK: It is the holiday season, an exciting time of year.
GW: You betcha.
GK: Mr. President, what a surprise. I never expected to see you here.
GW: I just wanted to come by and inform America about one of our new plans to get this economy going.
GK: I'm sure a lot of people will be delighted to hear that.
And I'm flattered you choose our program to do this. But why not just hold a press conference?
GW: A what?
GK: A press conference. You appear before an audience made up of journalists.
GW: Oh, yeah, I remember them.
GK: I knew you would.
GW: Don't like 'em. They're always asking too many questions.
GK: That is their job.
GW: Well, curiosity killed the cat, you know.
GK: Your major announcement?
GW: Well, as American's we are no longer an agricultural economy or a manufacturing economy. And face it, most of our service economy is overseas. We're a consumer economy.
GK: All right.
GW: So, consuming is what we do best. And if we don't consume, the economy falters.
GK: I'm with you so far.
GW: Now, what's the biggest consuming time of the year?
GK: Christmas.
GW: Exactly. So, I'm sending a bill to Congress to establish another Christmas.
GK: Very bold.
GW: It's every thing we do best. Plus it's a sop to my evangelistic base. And it's all covered by my faith-initiative policy. What could be better than spending more money to honor our Savior.
GK: You're killing multiple birds with one stone.
GW: And if that's succesable, we can add on a 3rd Christmas. Those department stores won't know what happened to their bottom line. And just think, all that seasonal help becomes permanent staff. so I got the job creation situation handled to boot.
GK: I can tell you put a lot of thought into this.
GW: Well, I have to keep on my toes. I don't want to become one of those lame duck fellows.
GK: Not a pleasant fate.
GW: Yeah, 'cause I'll have some real issues to run on next time.
GK: Excuse me, sir, you can't run again. There are term limits.
GW: Oh. Well, just as well. It'll be hard to top this second Christmas deal.
GK: Indeed it will.
GW: So, remember my fellow Americansters, let's get out there and consumerate all you can so we can get this great nation economating again. Good-bye and Merry Christmas.
end
GW: You betcha.
GK: Mr. President, what a surprise. I never expected to see you here.
GW: I just wanted to come by and inform America about one of our new plans to get this economy going.
GK: I'm sure a lot of people will be delighted to hear that.
And I'm flattered you choose our program to do this. But why not just hold a press conference?
GW: A what?
GK: A press conference. You appear before an audience made up of journalists.
GW: Oh, yeah, I remember them.
GK: I knew you would.
GW: Don't like 'em. They're always asking too many questions.
GK: That is their job.
GW: Well, curiosity killed the cat, you know.
GK: Your major announcement?
GW: Well, as American's we are no longer an agricultural economy or a manufacturing economy. And face it, most of our service economy is overseas. We're a consumer economy.
GK: All right.
GW: So, consuming is what we do best. And if we don't consume, the economy falters.
GK: I'm with you so far.
GW: Now, what's the biggest consuming time of the year?
GK: Christmas.
GW: Exactly. So, I'm sending a bill to Congress to establish another Christmas.
GK: Very bold.
GW: It's every thing we do best. Plus it's a sop to my evangelistic base. And it's all covered by my faith-initiative policy. What could be better than spending more money to honor our Savior.
GK: You're killing multiple birds with one stone.
GW: And if that's succesable, we can add on a 3rd Christmas. Those department stores won't know what happened to their bottom line. And just think, all that seasonal help becomes permanent staff. so I got the job creation situation handled to boot.
GK: I can tell you put a lot of thought into this.
GW: Well, I have to keep on my toes. I don't want to become one of those lame duck fellows.
GK: Not a pleasant fate.
GW: Yeah, 'cause I'll have some real issues to run on next time.
GK: Excuse me, sir, you can't run again. There are term limits.
GW: Oh. Well, just as well. It'll be hard to top this second Christmas deal.
GK: Indeed it will.
GW: So, remember my fellow Americansters, let's get out there and consumerate all you can so we can get this great nation economating again. Good-bye and Merry Christmas.
end
