From 1999 to 2004-ish, I was one of the contributing writers for Garrison Keillor's renowned radio show "A Prairie Home Companion." I learned a lot of things there, mostly how to spell 'prairie." It was a solid gig and I'm proud of my work there. But, like any other job, there were...things...
There's not much to explain about this sketch. I think wrote more duct tape sketches and only got one in, the very unusual Duct Tape Surgery. This and Ketchup sketches. I think my duct tape sketches were mostly about wearing duct tape. I remember the one about Halloween costumes. I don't recall what prompted this bit on nonsense, it might have something to do with me recalling taping my jean cuffs in place. Anyway, I wrote it up and submitted it. They passed on it.
Duct Tape Tailoring
(GK, SS, M1: Man 1, M2: Man 2)
GK: And now a message from the American Duct Tape Council.
SS: Having trouble getting the right fit with your pants?
M1: Well, actually, yes. These pants are just too long.
SS: Then say good-bye to too-long legs. Thanks to duct tape. I just fold up your cuff and tape it in place with some good-old duct tape.
(tape ripping)
M1: Hey, my pants are the perfect length!
SS: Yes they are.
M1: But I have these big metallic-looking strips around my ankles.
SS: That's what we call a fashion statement.
M2: What about me? My pants are too short!
SS: No problem for duct tape. I just take these pieces...
(tape ripping)
SS: Tape them around the bottom of your pants and Viola! The perfect length. See how it drapes along the top of your shoe?
M2: Yes. But it's attached to my socks.
SS: Don't have to worry about them sliding down now, do you?
M2: But what if I want to take off my pants someday?
SS: Thanks to duct tape I can quickly patch clothing, darn socks, replace shirt pockets and turn shorts back into full length pants in no time flat. It's like having a sewing machine on a roll!
GK: Duct tape... it's almost just about the only thing you need sometimes, duct tape.
(DUCKS)
A message from the American Duct Tape Council.
M1: My jock strap is a little loose...
end
GK: And now a message from the American Duct Tape Council.
SS: Having trouble getting the right fit with your pants?
M1: Well, actually, yes. These pants are just too long.
SS: Then say good-bye to too-long legs. Thanks to duct tape. I just fold up your cuff and tape it in place with some good-old duct tape.
(tape ripping)
M1: Hey, my pants are the perfect length!
SS: Yes they are.
M1: But I have these big metallic-looking strips around my ankles.
SS: That's what we call a fashion statement.
M2: What about me? My pants are too short!
SS: No problem for duct tape. I just take these pieces...
(tape ripping)
SS: Tape them around the bottom of your pants and Viola! The perfect length. See how it drapes along the top of your shoe?
M2: Yes. But it's attached to my socks.
SS: Don't have to worry about them sliding down now, do you?
M2: But what if I want to take off my pants someday?
SS: Thanks to duct tape I can quickly patch clothing, darn socks, replace shirt pockets and turn shorts back into full length pants in no time flat. It's like having a sewing machine on a roll!
GK: Duct tape... it's almost just about the only thing you need sometimes, duct tape.
(DUCKS)
A message from the American Duct Tape Council.
M1: My jock strap is a little loose...
end
