GK: Who's my little sweetums? Come on honey, time to eat. Come on, baby, it's delicious. It's, it's...Strained tripe. Strained tripe? Why did we buy this? Oh, yeah, I had a coupon. Well, you have to eat it, because...it's good for you. Because it'll help you grow big and strong. Because I'm the daddy.
(Knock at door, door opens)
GK: Who is it?
KDS: Trick or treat!
KDS: Trick or treat.
GK: Why are you kids trick or treating?
K1: We want candy, Dad!
GK: Kids, it's July. Early July.
K1: We'll take ice cream then.
GK: What are you doing?
K2: We're bored, Dad
GK: Well, it's too early for trick or treat. Do something else...
GK: Okay, baby, where were we? Oh, here comes the airplane. Varroom. Coming in for a landing with a fresh load of...Strained coconuts for you. Come on, open up.
(KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS)
KDS: (singing) Hark the Herald Angels sing, glory to the newborn King. Peace on earth---
GK: It's too early for Christmas carols. Do something summer-y.
K1: Like what?
GK: I don't know. Summer-y. Summer-y. Sell lemonade. There you go.
GK: Okay, baby, let's take if from the top, shall we? Hmmm- yummy-yummy.
(KNOCK AT DOOR. OPENS)
K2: Would you like to buy some lemonade?
GK: You're not supposed to sell it door to door. You're supposed to sit quietly behind your lemonade stand and wait for the thirsty people to come to you.
K1: It's too hot. And we're getting thirsty.
GK: Then drink the lemonade.
(door shut. Knock. Opens)
K1: We've declared bankruptcy.
K2: We're bored.
GK: Did you go on the swings?
GK: Did you go on the slide?
GK: Did you play ball?
GK: Did you go in the pool?
K1: We wanna watch TV!
GK: But it's such a nice day.
KDS: We wanna watch TV.
GK: Fine, fine. Go in the living room.
(footsteps run off)
GK: Well, baby, If you're not going to eat this, what am I supposed to do with it all?
K1: Hey, pop!
K2: We're hungry.
K1: Whattaya got to eat?
GK: Strained artichokes!
(kids screaming, running, door slam)
GK: Hey, this stuff works better than back to school commercials.