…During last week’s photo shot of world leaders at the UN, President Obama announced he had to go to the bathroom.
…President Obama was caught trying to do rabbit ears to the Austrian prime minister at the UN photo shoot last week.
…The Sgt. Pepper album was re-released this week on iTunes.
Responding to a complaint from Republicans about his proposed tax on the wealthy, Obama responded "This is not class warfare. It's math."
…and you know how bad we are at math.
The media has been avoiding discussion about a new book, 'Confidence Men' which alleges dissension and incompetence inside the Obama White House. A spokesman for the networks stated that they weren’t about to cover a book of gossip and unsubstantiated claims. Besides, they were already busy covering “The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin.”
President Obama unveiled a new deficit reduction plan which includes $1.5 trillion in new taxes, including an end to Bush-era rates for earners making more than $250,000 and creating additional taxes on millionaires…
…in a related story, the Dept. of the Interior put American millionaires on the endangered species list.
…all part of the White House’s plan to thin out the herds of millionaires.
An Associated Press-CNBC poll shows that Twenty percent of Americans say they’ll be millionaires in the next decade…
…Well, kiss that dream goodbye, kids.
Cryos International, the world's largest sperm bank, is no longer accepting semen from redheads because demand is so low. It’s like they’re treating them as red-headed stepchild---oooooh, right.
“Dancing With the Stars” made headlines this season by featuring its first transgendered celebrity contestants. So kudos to them and Nancy Grace.
The Associated Press published an article disproving President Obama’s claim that millionaires are paying taxes at lower rates than middle-class families. Which can only mean one thing: AP has a lot of millionaires working there.
New MSNBC daytime host Craig Melvin attempted to make the claim that the GOP is 'Out of Step' with Voters on Tax Hikes. Sure, that’s why they keep winning elections.
The Manhattan U.S. Attorney charged online poker site Full Tilt Poker with bank fraud, illegal gambling offenses and money laundering adding that Full Tilt Poker and its board of directors operated the company as a "massive Ponzi scheme"…
…the Board of Directors have been tapped to head up Social Security.
…if convicted they could be sentence to serving on The White House’s Green initiative program.
Ben & Jerry's announced their newest ice cream flavor, Schweddy Balls…
…Wow, I never thought I’d find an ice cream in bad taste.
…because they couldn’t make chocolate and vanilla sound offensive enough.
…because Cheebuger-Cheeburger would make a lousy ice cream.
…because what parent doesn’t want to give their child a big serving of Scheweddy Balls?
A 28 year-old black man confessed to sending threatening KKK emails to the local police department and city hall. I guess because no one would take angry threats from a black guy seriously.
According to the USA Today/Gallup survey, a majority of Americans believe President Obama deserves at least some blame for the country’s economic troubles. The White House then released a statement blaming the President’s low poll numbers on President Bush.
A new McClatchy-Marist poll finds that a solid plurality says they’ll definitely vote against President Obama…
…and that’s just among people who haven’t been paying attention.
…and that’ll go higher once they actually get someone to vote for.
Speaking to an audience at a political fundraiser in New York President Obama said “all that hopey changey stuff” from his 2008 campaign “was real” and it’s “still there.” Yeah, we noticed.
A Somali radio station with ties to a militant Islamist group awarded children rifles and grenades as prizes for winning a Koran-reciting competition and the losers were shot.
During the opening of the UN General Assembly, President Obama attempted to block the Palestinians’ bid to create a Palestinian nation…
…Considering his record attempting to block Scott Brown, Chris Christie, Bob McDonnell, or for the GOP in 2010 and Olympic Committee from nixing Chicago as a host city, good luck with that.
…and immediately, Palestine submitted a bid.
Lifetime cancelled Roseanne Barr's reality show, “Roseanne’s Nuts.” Why? The title says it all.
Two top executives at a bankrupt California solar energy company invoked their Fifth Amendment rights and refused to answer questions at a House hearing. I can’t say I’m surprised they took the Fifth. They took everything else.
The Associated Press and networks are still referring to the Solyndra situation as merely an "embarrassment." Face it, if this were under a Republican president, they would have attached the word “gate” to Solyndra weeks ago.
The Palestinian president formally submitted a bid to the U.N. Security Council to become a member state and then asked for a second vote to revoke Israel’s statehood.
The House of Representatives paid tribute to Rep. Charles Rangel by unveiling Rangel’s official portrait as chairman of the Ways and Means Committee, which is was forced to resign from less than a year ago after the House formally censured him…
…so, it’s his official mug shot.
…later the portrait was censured for owning off-shore frames.
Facebook users, angered by several major design upgrades to the site began protesting the changes…
…and forcing many to re-join reality.
…because there’s nothing worse then having your Facebook page altered.
…and are really ticked that they took away the “dislike” button.
During a speech to the United Nations Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad suggested that President Obama had Osama Bin Laden killed to keep him from revealing who really was behind 9/11…
…wait, you mean Bin Laden didn’t know he was responsible for the 9/11 attacks?
The Dow Jones Average dropped again last week on fears of another recession. Hey Dow Jones, too late.
Southwest Airlines has increasingly been finding graffiti on the bellies of its planes that appear to be Arabic words reading “Infidels on Board.”
UC Berkeley scientists have developed a system to record visual activity in human brains and reconstruct it as digital video clips so that eventually people can record and reconstruct dreams on a computer screen…
…seriously, how many people want videos of them showing up naked at school?
…no word on whether or not it will be in 3-D.
The U.S. Office of Personnel Management has found that the government’s Civil Service Retirement and Disability fund has $120 million annually over the last five years to dead federal workers…
…although, in the Civil Service fund’s defense, with federal workers, it’s sometimes hard to tell.
A Massachusetts teen who ordered a part for his paintball gun received a package up with pornography, sex oils and erectile dysfunction pills instead. A statement released by the teen said “thank you thank you thank you.”
Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said Americans need to “adjust” their tastes so they’ll like the healthful foods the government wants them to eat. So who are you going to believe, the Secretary of Agriculture or your tongue?