Back in 2001, we were looking at the first post 9/11 Thanksgiving. So naturally, I started to roll out my silly side. The "Inappropriate" Store has been a grand source of comedy for me, heavily influenced by Monty Python with these, like the Parrot Sketch or the Cheese shop. As mentioned elsewhere on this blog, my first sketch of any merit was "The Pet Rock;" that was my pet store sketch. I've done plant shop, a travel agent and a cheese store (which I even repurposed for movie script) and then there are the commercials for Inappropriate Stores, such as this one, the House of Stuffing. Also part of a grand tradition, well mined by SNL. Much like the shops themselves, it's a niche field. But perfect for people who really, really like stuffing. Anyway, PHC didn't use it. I thought I really captured his voice and pacing and spirit in this bit. Oh well. I pitched it elsewhere until it wound up here.
And, of course, this whole celebration of fall is to help remind folks that my book, Space Case, is available over at Amazon. It sure beats stepping on a rake!
House of Stuffing
GK: We gather together for Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving means
stuffing...
SS: I'm all discombobulated. Dave loves his mother's chestnut stuffing and I want to make an oyster stuffing but maybe I should make a healthy tofu stuffing.
GK: Once a year you make stuffing, stressing over the fact that if you don't get if right, it'll be 364 days before you get to try again. Who needs that kind of pressure?
SS: Not me! But what can I do?
GK: Maybe it's time to visit Tim's House of Stuffing. Tim makes and stocks over 300 different kinds of stuffing, from acorn to zucchini stuffing. There's stuffing for every person, every occasion and every mood, from fruit to nuts. Can't decide which to serve? Then try Tim's Stuffing Sampler, containing up to 12 different stuffing portions. For those of you who can't get their fill of stuffing enjoy one of Tim's stuffing logs or some stuffing jerky. Or if you want to extend that stuffing spirit all year long, you can enroll yourself or a friend in Tim's Stuffing of the Month Club. Club members receive a fresh and exciting stuffing every 30 days. Stuffing is the gift that keeps on giving. Too much leftover turkey but no leftover stuffing? Then pick up one of Tim's stuffing loafs, cut to order. Perfect for those next day turkey sandwiches.
TR: Great stuffing, honey. And you seem so calm and sedate this year. I wasn't the least bit nervous while you handled the carving knife.
SS: Thanks, honey. I am calm and sedate, thanks to Tim's House of Stuffing.
GK: Come to Tim's House of Stuffing, were Tim says:
TM: There's no need to be stressing, come try my turkey dressing.
GK: Tim's House of Stuffing, 118 Main Street, right next to Hank's Gravy Hut.
end
stuffing...
SS: I'm all discombobulated. Dave loves his mother's chestnut stuffing and I want to make an oyster stuffing but maybe I should make a healthy tofu stuffing.
GK: Once a year you make stuffing, stressing over the fact that if you don't get if right, it'll be 364 days before you get to try again. Who needs that kind of pressure?
SS: Not me! But what can I do?
GK: Maybe it's time to visit Tim's House of Stuffing. Tim makes and stocks over 300 different kinds of stuffing, from acorn to zucchini stuffing. There's stuffing for every person, every occasion and every mood, from fruit to nuts. Can't decide which to serve? Then try Tim's Stuffing Sampler, containing up to 12 different stuffing portions. For those of you who can't get their fill of stuffing enjoy one of Tim's stuffing logs or some stuffing jerky. Or if you want to extend that stuffing spirit all year long, you can enroll yourself or a friend in Tim's Stuffing of the Month Club. Club members receive a fresh and exciting stuffing every 30 days. Stuffing is the gift that keeps on giving. Too much leftover turkey but no leftover stuffing? Then pick up one of Tim's stuffing loafs, cut to order. Perfect for those next day turkey sandwiches.
TR: Great stuffing, honey. And you seem so calm and sedate this year. I wasn't the least bit nervous while you handled the carving knife.
SS: Thanks, honey. I am calm and sedate, thanks to Tim's House of Stuffing.
GK: Come to Tim's House of Stuffing, were Tim says:
TM: There's no need to be stressing, come try my turkey dressing.
GK: Tim's House of Stuffing, 118 Main Street, right next to Hank's Gravy Hut.
end
