REST IN PEACE
WIFE and HUSBAND are waiting when the DOCTOR enters.
DOCTOR: I’m sorry to say that we lost your aunt.
WIFE: Oh, dear. I hate to think of her dying all alone. We were the only family she had left.
HUSBAND: So sad. So very sad.
DOCTOR: We did what we could for her.
WIFE: How did the end come?
DOCTOR: Oh, she died peacefully.
WIFE: That’s something, I suppose.
HUSBAND: I guess we can be thank for that at least she died peacefully.
DOCTOR: Oh, yes, right after she clutched her chest and she collapsed.
HUSBAND: Wait…clutched her heart? She was in pain?
DOCTOR: Not at all. Very peaceful.
WIFE: I dunno, that whole “clutching her chest” thing seems pretty unpeaceful.
HUSBAND: Isn’t that something you should have been watching for?
DOCTOR: Normally, yes, but with all the screaming it was so hard to focus--
DOCTOR: It’s a medical term. It means yelling loudly.
HUSBAND: I wouldn’t exactly call that a “medical term.”
WIFE: And we know what screaming is.
DOCTOR; Well, it’s something we say a lot around here and this is a medical place.
WIFE: To get back to the actual point; She was screaming?
DOCTOR: It’s to be expected with all the blood that was squirting around.
HUSBAND: What--? How--?
DOCTOR: Yes, there was trouble with one of the IV lines and, well, I don’t want to say her arm “exploded” but it was pretty dramatic.
WIFE: Her arm? My aunt’s arm?
DOCTOR: Don’t worry, it wasn’t like it was attached to her at that point.
WIFE: My aunt’s arm wasn’t attached? To my aunt?
HUSBAND: Why wasn’t it attached to her?
DOCTOR: I could give you a lot of fancy terminology, but, basically, it fell off.
WIFE: How is that possible???
DOCTOR: God’s will.
WIFE: There’s no way God would have willed that.
DOCTOR: Sure, not at first. But, as I said, with all the screaming…
HUSBAND: That’s it, we demand to see her!
DOCTOR: I wouldn’t recommend it.
WIFE: And why wouldn’t you recommend it?
DOCTOR: She’s not here.
WIFE: How can she not be here? Why wouldn’t my aunt’s body be here?
DOCTOR: There’s this creature that lurks the basement and dark hallways and it often carries off people.
WIFE: Carries off people???
DOCTOR: Well, not living people. Just the dead ones.
HUSBAND: That doesn’t even make sense! This is absolutely the worse hospital I’ve ever seen!
DOCTOR: Wait, who told you this was a hospital?
HUSBAND: That’s it, we’re calling the authorities!
They storm off.
DOCTOR: (calling after) Hey, don’t forget to give us a good Yelp review!