Early on when I started posting under the Category "Skit Happens" (AKA: From the Slush Pile) I was posting stuff that that been submitted somewhere but didn't get chosen. Post-pandemic (if we are, in fact, post-it) I've been writing sketches and have had few, if any, places to submit them. I don't know why I'm still writing them. It's like the idea pops into my head and I get such a rush from the act of creating, I want to get it down on paper, I need to. These things are burning holes in my thumb drive and I have to put them out there somewhere and I have a blog. So, we'll be playing around on here, I suppose.
I recently went through a musical comedy phase, writing parodies of a couple of musicals. The Rain in Spain idea I actually jotted down a while ago, and with the pandemic and working from home, got to flesh it out a bit. And I mean a little bit. It's just about two pages. It's practically a black-out. Without feeling like I was going to send it to TMI: Hollywood, I didn't push myself to expand it out much. I wrote for the three main characters, got to the twist and bailed. It's still cute, though.
Rain in Spain
ELIZA and HIGGENS are seated, looking tired. PICKERING enters.
PICKERING: How is it going, Higgins?
HIGGINS: Dreadfully! I dare say I may have bitten off more than I can chew!
PICKERING: That’s not the Professor Henry Higgins I know! I’ve seen you turn many a sow’s ear into a silk purse.
HIGGINS: Very well, very well. Try it again, Eliza.
ELIZA: In ‘artford, ‘ereford and ‘ampshire, ‘urricanes ‘ardly ever ‘appen.
HIGGINS: No. Again!
ELIZA: In Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen
HIGGINS: Better. Now the other one.
ELIZA: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
HIGGINS: No, no, no, no, no! Where does it rain?
ELIZA: In Spain.
HIGGINS: No, not Spain.
PICKERING: Then where?
Higgins pulls out a weather map.
HIGGINS: Here in London! With this cold front coming down from the north, we’ll see winds and heavy downpours starting tonight and lasting well into tomorrow.
PICKERING: I’ll need an umbrella.
HIGGINS: More than an umbrella! There will be gusting winds
ELIZA: I don’t want to be a weather girl! I just wanted to run a flower shop!
HIGGINS: You foolish woman! Flowers can’t exist without rain! How do you not know that?
ELIZA: I’m leaving!
HIGGINS: Oh, really. And just where do you think you’re going?
ELIZA: To Spain!
HIGGINA: And how do you think you’re getting to Spain?
ELIZA: On the plane! The plane!
She leaves.
PICKERING: By Jove, I think she’s got it!
The end
PICKERING: How is it going, Higgins?
HIGGINS: Dreadfully! I dare say I may have bitten off more than I can chew!
PICKERING: That’s not the Professor Henry Higgins I know! I’ve seen you turn many a sow’s ear into a silk purse.
HIGGINS: Very well, very well. Try it again, Eliza.
ELIZA: In ‘artford, ‘ereford and ‘ampshire, ‘urricanes ‘ardly ever ‘appen.
HIGGINS: No. Again!
ELIZA: In Hartford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen
HIGGINS: Better. Now the other one.
ELIZA: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
HIGGINS: No, no, no, no, no! Where does it rain?
ELIZA: In Spain.
HIGGINS: No, not Spain.
PICKERING: Then where?
Higgins pulls out a weather map.
HIGGINS: Here in London! With this cold front coming down from the north, we’ll see winds and heavy downpours starting tonight and lasting well into tomorrow.
PICKERING: I’ll need an umbrella.
HIGGINS: More than an umbrella! There will be gusting winds
ELIZA: I don’t want to be a weather girl! I just wanted to run a flower shop!
HIGGINS: You foolish woman! Flowers can’t exist without rain! How do you not know that?
ELIZA: I’m leaving!
HIGGINS: Oh, really. And just where do you think you’re going?
ELIZA: To Spain!
HIGGINA: And how do you think you’re getting to Spain?
ELIZA: On the plane! The plane!
She leaves.
PICKERING: By Jove, I think she’s got it!
The end
