Lord knows I have mixed feelings about Pee-Wee Herman (as explained here) but his death this week really affected me. He was a running reference in my family. My dad "portrayed" him at family picnics, when we did family shows. My kids enjoyed the shows and movies (until the whole Christmas thing). We imitated him. Paul Reubens was a guy who hustled and made a career for himself and just stood out from the crowd. And at one point I spent months writing in his voice, attempting to imitate his style and humor for Warner Bros. I really thought I had done a good job of it. Granted, things didn't work out back then and now his passing suddenly shuts a door of (possibly imagined) opportunity. Or the chance to ever tell my story to him. I mean, I friended him on social media. I linked my blog posts to him several times. No reaction. And now I'll never know if he was even aware of my existence. He was a creator and writer, and I hoped there might be a connection there, but no more.
I've been going through some old scripts, working on a new project, and I stumbled across this sketch. I have no memory of writing it and had forgotten it existed. I took the character Pee-Wee Herman and combined him with the classic "Playhouse 90" series from the 1950s. How boomer can you get? So, it's scenes from the old teleplays that were broadcast on CBS and adding Pee-Wee to them. This was for TMI:Hollywood, and they were a generation younger than I and the sketch wasn't selected. I didn't think of it as topical, but now I see how any sketch, topical or evergreen can have an undetermined shelf life. Ideas age, references fade into the past, personalities pass on. So, because I have little else to do, here's my sketch:
Pee-wee's Playhouse 90
ANNOUNCER
MARTY PILLETTI
PEE-WEE HERMAN
JUROR #3
JUROR #8
RUTH ADAMS
JULES GASPARD D'ESTAING
Lights down.
ANNOUNCER (o.s.) : It was classic television programing at its best, part of the Golden Age of Broadcasting and now it’s available on Blu-Ray and DVD.
Lights up on MARTY talking to someone we can’t see yet.
MARTY PILLETTI: You don't like her. My mother don't like her. She's a dog. And I'm a fat, ugly man.
Oh, it’s PEE-WEE HERMAN.
PEE-WEE HERMAN: I know you are but what am I?
Lights down
ANNOUNCER (o.s.): It’s Pee-Wee’s Playhouse 90, a collection of broadcast brilliant that was once televised live to America’s homes. Classic teleplays like “Marty” or “Twelve Angry Men.”
Lights up on JURORS seated.
JUROR #8: We're not convinced. We want to hear them again. We have as much time as it takes.
JUROR #3: [another pause, seething with anger] Everything - *every single thing* that took place in that courtroom, but I mean everything - says he's guilty. What d'ya think, I'm an idiot or somethin'?
PEE-WEE HERMAN: Say it, don’t spray it!
Lights down.
ANNOUCER (o.s.): It’s all re-digitized and remastered for your home enjoyment, more vivid and sharp than you remember these classics. Classics like the western drama “Invitation to a Gunfighter”
Lights up on JULES, seated. RUTH enters, agitated.
RUTH: I heard shots. They woke me.
JULES: Just a little gunplay at the saloon. Nobody hurt.
RUTH: Gunplay? Guns is a plaything to you?
Pee-Wee jumps out.
PEE-WEE HERMAN: Aaah! You said the word of the day! Plaything! Aaaah!
ANNOUNCER (o.s.): We only made seven of these, so order yours today!
END
MARTY PILLETTI
PEE-WEE HERMAN
JUROR #3
JUROR #8
RUTH ADAMS
JULES GASPARD D'ESTAING
Lights down.
ANNOUNCER (o.s.) : It was classic television programing at its best, part of the Golden Age of Broadcasting and now it’s available on Blu-Ray and DVD.
Lights up on MARTY talking to someone we can’t see yet.
MARTY PILLETTI: You don't like her. My mother don't like her. She's a dog. And I'm a fat, ugly man.
Oh, it’s PEE-WEE HERMAN.
PEE-WEE HERMAN: I know you are but what am I?
Lights down
ANNOUNCER (o.s.): It’s Pee-Wee’s Playhouse 90, a collection of broadcast brilliant that was once televised live to America’s homes. Classic teleplays like “Marty” or “Twelve Angry Men.”
Lights up on JURORS seated.
JUROR #8: We're not convinced. We want to hear them again. We have as much time as it takes.
JUROR #3: [another pause, seething with anger] Everything - *every single thing* that took place in that courtroom, but I mean everything - says he's guilty. What d'ya think, I'm an idiot or somethin'?
PEE-WEE HERMAN: Say it, don’t spray it!
Lights down.
ANNOUCER (o.s.): It’s all re-digitized and remastered for your home enjoyment, more vivid and sharp than you remember these classics. Classics like the western drama “Invitation to a Gunfighter”
Lights up on JULES, seated. RUTH enters, agitated.
RUTH: I heard shots. They woke me.
JULES: Just a little gunplay at the saloon. Nobody hurt.
RUTH: Gunplay? Guns is a plaything to you?
Pee-Wee jumps out.
PEE-WEE HERMAN: Aaah! You said the word of the day! Plaything! Aaaah!
ANNOUNCER (o.s.): We only made seven of these, so order yours today!
END
