Well, here's a brief bit of nonsense. It was originally written for PHC but rejected. I attempted to submit it elsewhere to zero success. It's short. It's goofy. How do you make zombies more terrifying? You remove the one way to kill them; the head shot. But that opens up other problems...
Anyway, all in good fun and here to remind you to get a copy of Halloweenies today!
The Attack of the Headless Zombies
ANNOUNCER: It’s a terror from beyond the grave, creatures that can’t be stopped, it’s “The Attack of the Headless Zombies.”
NANCY: Ted, they’re coming! It’s the Headless Zombies!
TED: My god! It’s true! I didn’t believe it! But it’s a mob of headless zombies!
NANCY: They’re coming closer! They coming closer…hey, wait where are they going?
TED: I wonder why they’re walking passed us. Look at that one that keeps bumping into the fence, like he can’t get around it.
NANCY: They are headless.
ANNOUNCER: An unnatural act created them. Man is powerless to stop them. It’s “The Attack of the Headless Zombies.”
TED: Professor, what do they want?
PROFESSOR: Well, in the past, any zombies we dealt with would be after us to eat our brains…but these zombies are headless, so I don’t know what they think they’re doing.
ANNOUNCER: Okay, they’re not very fast and they can’t see where they’re going but they’re attacking because it’s “The Attack of the Headless Zombies!”
GENERAL: Okay, troops, we’ve got every bit of weaponry set up here waiting for those headless zombies to come over that hill. When they come up, I want every gun, cannon, mortar and rocket aimed at them.
SOLDIER: Sir?
GENERAL: What is it, soldier?
SOLDIER: Well, apparently, the headless zombies wandered off to the west and fell off some cliffs.
GENERAL: Oh.
ANNOUNCER: It’s “The Attack of the Headless Zombies” coming eventually to a theater near you.
End
NANCY: Ted, they’re coming! It’s the Headless Zombies!
TED: My god! It’s true! I didn’t believe it! But it’s a mob of headless zombies!
NANCY: They’re coming closer! They coming closer…hey, wait where are they going?
TED: I wonder why they’re walking passed us. Look at that one that keeps bumping into the fence, like he can’t get around it.
NANCY: They are headless.
ANNOUNCER: An unnatural act created them. Man is powerless to stop them. It’s “The Attack of the Headless Zombies.”
TED: Professor, what do they want?
PROFESSOR: Well, in the past, any zombies we dealt with would be after us to eat our brains…but these zombies are headless, so I don’t know what they think they’re doing.
ANNOUNCER: Okay, they’re not very fast and they can’t see where they’re going but they’re attacking because it’s “The Attack of the Headless Zombies!”
GENERAL: Okay, troops, we’ve got every bit of weaponry set up here waiting for those headless zombies to come over that hill. When they come up, I want every gun, cannon, mortar and rocket aimed at them.
SOLDIER: Sir?
GENERAL: What is it, soldier?
SOLDIER: Well, apparently, the headless zombies wandered off to the west and fell off some cliffs.
GENERAL: Oh.
ANNOUNCER: It’s “The Attack of the Headless Zombies” coming eventually to a theater near you.
End
