October 2014, with a comedy troupe in sight, I did start trying to turn out season-specific sketches when the whole "Hollywood Current Events" premise didn't interest me. They did do an annual Halloween show, and I know I over-submitted the first year I dealt with him, writing new and resurrecting old bits. This was one of the new bits, a mash-up of two popular reality show tropes; paranormal shows and practical joke shows. As well as goofing on the idea that the SYFY channel was drifting away from its Sci-Fi roots. It's a commercial parody, which means I was still writing sketches that were too brief and needed to work on that. So, to remind people that Halloween is coming and I have a Halloween book to sell, here is...
Ghost Punkers
ANNOUNCER: Tonight, on SyFy, it’s the hot new series from the producers of “Ghost Hunters” and Ashton Kutcher---
(A LEADER as a GROUP follow him across the stage to the counter. He carries some kind of detecting device.)
LEADER: Okay, we’re now in the cellar of the Benson Mansion where the owners claim they’ve heard the mysterious chain rattling emanating from-
(DUDE in a white sheet pops up from behind counter.)
DUDE: Boo!
LEADER: (screams)
(Dude pulls off sheet.)
DUDE: Gotcha, dude! I scared you good! Ha!
LEADER: Stop that! Stop doing that! It’s not funny!
ANNOUNCER: It’s “Ghost Punkers.” The show that adds some abnormal to the paranormal.
(A WOMAN leads the group to the door. She holds a device.)
WOMAN: Dave, my sensors are showing a presence here in the attic. Let me just open up this door---
(She does. Dude with sheet pops out.)
DUDE: Boo!
WOMAN: (screams) That’s not funny! That’s not funny!
DUDE: Oh, it so is!
ANNOUNCER: Hey, we’ve been following these guys around for years now and they never find anything, really, so let’s have some fun with it, you know?
(Leader is now bringing the group toward the first counter, then leads them away to the opposite counter.)
LEADER: Now back here in the cemetery, legend holds that the ghosts of the murder victims rise up to seek their killer---
(Dude in sheet pops up again.)
DUDE: Boo!
LEADER: (screams) You idiot! Stop doing that!
DUDE: Dude, did you just wet yourself?
LEADER: I have a condition! I have a condition! It’s not funny!
ANNOUNCER: Tonight, it’s the premier of “Ghost Punkers” on Syfy. Yeah, it’s not really sci-fi, either.
End
(A LEADER as a GROUP follow him across the stage to the counter. He carries some kind of detecting device.)
LEADER: Okay, we’re now in the cellar of the Benson Mansion where the owners claim they’ve heard the mysterious chain rattling emanating from-
(DUDE in a white sheet pops up from behind counter.)
DUDE: Boo!
LEADER: (screams)
(Dude pulls off sheet.)
DUDE: Gotcha, dude! I scared you good! Ha!
LEADER: Stop that! Stop doing that! It’s not funny!
ANNOUNCER: It’s “Ghost Punkers.” The show that adds some abnormal to the paranormal.
(A WOMAN leads the group to the door. She holds a device.)
WOMAN: Dave, my sensors are showing a presence here in the attic. Let me just open up this door---
(She does. Dude with sheet pops out.)
DUDE: Boo!
WOMAN: (screams) That’s not funny! That’s not funny!
DUDE: Oh, it so is!
ANNOUNCER: Hey, we’ve been following these guys around for years now and they never find anything, really, so let’s have some fun with it, you know?
(Leader is now bringing the group toward the first counter, then leads them away to the opposite counter.)
LEADER: Now back here in the cemetery, legend holds that the ghosts of the murder victims rise up to seek their killer---
(Dude in sheet pops up again.)
DUDE: Boo!
LEADER: (screams) You idiot! Stop doing that!
DUDE: Dude, did you just wet yourself?
LEADER: I have a condition! I have a condition! It’s not funny!
ANNOUNCER: Tonight, it’s the premier of “Ghost Punkers” on Syfy. Yeah, it’s not really sci-fi, either.
End
