Oct. 2005; one of the things I tried to do when I was submitting material to Prairie Home Companion was to mimic what they already were doing and mash it up with a holiday or current event. PHC had the Duct Tape people and they had the Ketchup people, so I would create something, like, say, The Candy Corn Council when Halloween approached. Granted it's got a slight more edge to it then the Buttermilk Biscuit promos, but I thought it worked. PHC disagreed. As did the proceeding radio companies I sent it to. Oh, well.
Anyway, all in good fun and here to remind you to get a copy of Halloweenies today!
Candy Corn Council
ANNOUNCER: And now a word from the Columbian Candy Corn Council.
SPOKESPERSON: Everyone loves candy corn this time of year, but there are lots of other times you may be in the mood for the tasty sugar rush of candy corn. We at the Candy Corn Council are dedicated to extending your love of candy corn all year round! We've put together a booklet with great candy corn recipes like Creamed Candy Corn and Candy Corn Muffins. Mix candy corn with jelly beans and make yourself a coma-inducing succotash. Hmm-Hmm. Mix it in salads, cake batter, your morning coffee or any other hot beverage:
BRIT 1: Would you care for some tea, Lord Buntly?
BRIT 2: Why, thank you ever so much, Gwenth.
BRIT 1: One kernel or two?
BRIT 2: Two, please.
SPOKESPERSON: And candy corn is 100% fat free!
DAVE: That's right. I'm Dave and I switched to a diet heavy in candy corn instead of greasy fast food and I feel great.
WOMAN: Oh, have you taken up parachuting? I see your chute flapping in the breeze in your backyard.
DAVE: What? No, that's just my laundry on the clothes line.
SPOKESPERSON: So whether it's candy corn on the cob or candy corn chowder, you'll be eating the sweet life. Candy Corn; it's not just for Halloween anymore.
ANNOUNCER: This message was brought to you by the Columbia Candy Corn Council and the American Dental Society. Four out of five dentists recommend candy corn as the perfect way to pay off their summer villas.
The end
SPOKESPERSON: Everyone loves candy corn this time of year, but there are lots of other times you may be in the mood for the tasty sugar rush of candy corn. We at the Candy Corn Council are dedicated to extending your love of candy corn all year round! We've put together a booklet with great candy corn recipes like Creamed Candy Corn and Candy Corn Muffins. Mix candy corn with jelly beans and make yourself a coma-inducing succotash. Hmm-Hmm. Mix it in salads, cake batter, your morning coffee or any other hot beverage:
BRIT 1: Would you care for some tea, Lord Buntly?
BRIT 2: Why, thank you ever so much, Gwenth.
BRIT 1: One kernel or two?
BRIT 2: Two, please.
SPOKESPERSON: And candy corn is 100% fat free!
DAVE: That's right. I'm Dave and I switched to a diet heavy in candy corn instead of greasy fast food and I feel great.
WOMAN: Oh, have you taken up parachuting? I see your chute flapping in the breeze in your backyard.
DAVE: What? No, that's just my laundry on the clothes line.
SPOKESPERSON: So whether it's candy corn on the cob or candy corn chowder, you'll be eating the sweet life. Candy Corn; it's not just for Halloween anymore.
ANNOUNCER: This message was brought to you by the Columbia Candy Corn Council and the American Dental Society. Four out of five dentists recommend candy corn as the perfect way to pay off their summer villas.
The end
