QUnlike topical sketches, holiday sketches have a shot at being utilized the next year. Or the one after that. Or maybe...
You get the idea, a holiday could have a longer shelf life, but, like most sketches in the world, it'll never see the light of day. And, as you may have guess, I'm kinda a nut about Halloween. So, if I had a venue, I would inevitably start churning out new Halloween skits or recycle some off the hard drive. To mixed results. As I stated with the TMI: Hollywood group, I was still feeling my way, still churning out the shorter skits, but come September, I would begin handing in Halloween bits. Like this one from 2014. Somehow the name popped into my head; of course zombies were all the rage, so eventually a skit followed. The formatting is off for a stage piece. Did I think they would do it as a video? Or did I just automatically fall into a movie template. Who knows? Anyway, I present it here as part of my Halloween themed promo for my book, Halloweenies.
You get the idea, a holiday could have a longer shelf life, but, like most sketches in the world, it'll never see the light of day. And, as you may have guess, I'm kinda a nut about Halloween. So, if I had a venue, I would inevitably start churning out new Halloween skits or recycle some off the hard drive. To mixed results. As I stated with the TMI: Hollywood group, I was still feeling my way, still churning out the shorter skits, but come September, I would begin handing in Halloween bits. Like this one from 2014. Somehow the name popped into my head; of course zombies were all the rage, so eventually a skit followed. The formatting is off for a stage piece. Did I think they would do it as a video? Or did I just automatically fall into a movie template. Who knows? Anyway, I present it here as part of my Halloween themed promo for my book, Halloweenies.
Aberzombie & Finch
EXT. WOODS - DAY
A disheveled MAN and WOMAN stumble along the path, frantic.
WOMAN: Day after day, we’re running from these undead creatures.
MAN: We do what we have to do. We can’t just give up. We have to fight these zombies.
WOMAN: I miss my life. I miss my home. I miss fashion!
(Zombie growls are heard. They look.)
WOMAN: Oh, no! It’s another group of zombies!
MAN: I see them! I see them! Get your guns ready!
WOMAN: Wait a second! These zombies got it going on. Look how sharp and stylish they are!
(The Zombies look very preppy in stylish casual wear.)
MAN: Huh?
WOMAN: Why, they look more like high fashion mannequins than the lumbering undead!
MAN: I wonder how?
ANNOUNCER (O.S.) : (so pleasant) Because they shop at Aberzombie and Finch, the place to become a fashionable mobile corpse!
WOMAN: Look at the way that shirt brings out the yellow haze of his glazed eyeballs!
(to Man) Why can’t you dress like that?
ANNOUNCER (O.S.): For the latest and trendiest fashion needs, it’s Aberzombie and Finch. It’s a no-brainer!
ZOMBIE: Hmmmm, brains!
The End
A disheveled MAN and WOMAN stumble along the path, frantic.
WOMAN: Day after day, we’re running from these undead creatures.
MAN: We do what we have to do. We can’t just give up. We have to fight these zombies.
WOMAN: I miss my life. I miss my home. I miss fashion!
(Zombie growls are heard. They look.)
WOMAN: Oh, no! It’s another group of zombies!
MAN: I see them! I see them! Get your guns ready!
WOMAN: Wait a second! These zombies got it going on. Look how sharp and stylish they are!
(The Zombies look very preppy in stylish casual wear.)
MAN: Huh?
WOMAN: Why, they look more like high fashion mannequins than the lumbering undead!
MAN: I wonder how?
ANNOUNCER (O.S.) : (so pleasant) Because they shop at Aberzombie and Finch, the place to become a fashionable mobile corpse!
WOMAN: Look at the way that shirt brings out the yellow haze of his glazed eyeballs!
(to Man) Why can’t you dress like that?
ANNOUNCER (O.S.): For the latest and trendiest fashion needs, it’s Aberzombie and Finch. It’s a no-brainer!
ZOMBIE: Hmmmm, brains!
The End
