I mean it was bad enough that we were starting to inundate TMI Hollywood with political sketches, since they were mostly dealing with pop culture, but then 2016 was the first pop-culture presidential election. Hillary here is so confident. Trump is flailing. OK, so maybe not all of it dated. The biggest trick in these things is trying to find you're own take on a character and not just do an SNL sketch the way they were defining them. It's hard. I often find myself writing in the voice of the SNL version of the person. But the sketches were now better fleshed out, there was a decent POV and a good closing gag. So, there's that. And now it gets to see the light of day...
HILLARY: Is that your real name?
CHRIS: Not at all, just trying to lighten things up. And the “League of Woman Voters” upsets Mr. Trump.
HILLARY: Happy to do it.
CHRIS: Although we could have done all of this via email.
HILLARY: Nope, sorry, taking a little break from the emails for the time being. Not a fan.
TRUMP: And I need to point out that I’m here because I thought you said there would be rebates. Rebates.
CHRIS: Not something that would exist, sir.
TRUMP: The system’s rigged against me!
CHRIS: Excuse me?
TRUMP: Oh, sorry, that’s my default setting.
HILLARY: Like water off a duck.
CHRIS: So, basically, the only think we agree on is that the debates have to be held before November 8th---
TRUMP: November eighth? Why the rush?
CHRIS: That’s Election Day.
TRUMP: Figures. She’s trying to Bernie me!
HILLARY: Well, my team and my gynecologist put together a series of dates that work for us and avoid any menstruation cycle issues Donald might object to.
TRUMP: The failing New York Times!
CHRIS: I’m sorry, what?
HILLARY: So, how about October 12?
TRUMP: Columbus Day? You would have us debate on Columbus Day! You heathen! Why do you hate the Italians?
HILLARY: Fine, let’s say October 11th.
TRUMP: Columbus Day eve! How are we supposed to prepare for Columbus Day, devil woman?
CHRIS: October 10th?
CHRIS: Now, as to format…
TRUMP: I would like 2 moderators and one color commentator.
CHRIS: Debates don’t have color commentary.
TRUMP: And they call me the racist!
HILLARY: That’s fine.
TRUMP: Oh, and no moderators from CNN, PBS, MSNBC---
HILLARY: Of course.
TRUMP: The NY Times, Telemundo, the Golf Channel---
CHRIS: The Golf Channel?
TRUMP: They got snippy with me during my Scottish golf course opening.
TRUMP: And no one from CBS, NBC, ABC, NPR, or FOX.
CHRIS: Who does that leave?
TRUMP: The editor of the National Enquirer, the WWE and the Lifetime Movie and Mysteries channel.
HILLARY: Doesn’t matter.
TRUMP: Now, I’ll need a specially designed buzzer for my Trumpesque hands---
HILLARY: --Not a word--
TRUMP : ---And all the answers have to be in the form of questions. And there had better be decent parting gifts.
CHRIS: We’re not doing a game show, Mr. Trump. It’s a debate.
TRUMP: Oh, and a trap door, you know, for the loser. That’s great TV. There’s no TV show that can’t be improved with a trap door.
HILLARY: You and your trap doors. Have you decided which hand you want me to tie behind my back?
CHRIS: Mr. Trump, we have done an awful lot to accommodate you, we moved the date as not to be up against the NFL games---
TRUMP: Yes, I really cannot in good faith force the people of our nation to choose between the future of democracy and watching a football game.
HILLARY: Of course not.
TRUMP: Besides, it goes back to a very strict restraining order issued by the NFL against me after that whole United State Football League mishigas. That reminds me, I want a halftime show. Chris Christine asked if we could get Springsteen.
CHRIS: Again, not a debate thing.
HILLARY: He wants a half time show, let there be a half time show. It doesn’t matter. I have been preparing for this moment for all my life. I have crawled over bodies, figuratively--okay and literally--faced foes, slander and disdain to come to this point in history, because I decided a long time ago that I will make a kick-ass president. This isn’t something I decided on a whim. This is not some massive campaign to promote my brand. This is my destiny. Are you feeling lucky, punk? ‘Cause I’m Crooked Hillary and I’m about to rip you a new one. Again.
TRUMP: Rigged! Benghazi! Email!
HILLARY: Save it for the show, Donald. Oh, and Chris, make sure we have American flags on stage. A bunch.
CHRIS: My testicles just raced into my body.
(Donald looks at his hands. They’ve disappeared up his sleeves.)
DONALD: Oh, my hands! Not again! Devil woman! Devil woman!