You fall into some ruts writing comedy. Like, for example, trying to figure out how many different plays on the work "Claus" you can come up with. Or, how many times can you mock the Kardashians? Or what if you can combine the two during the holidays? So, attempting to put a twist on a trope, that popped up out of a funny title, threw in some jokes that had been knocking around in my head that had no home and this happened. This was written for ACN and their short-form sketch format. It is what it is and there's was no real reason to attempt to expand it.
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The Claudashians
ANNOUNCER: Tonight on E!, a new show about the family everyone thinks they know about.
KIM: Dad, can I borrow the sleigh? Khloe, Kourtney and me have a date.
SANTA: No, you know I need it to deliver all the toys tonight.
KIM: You love all the other kids in the world more than you love us!
ANNOUNCER: It’s “The Clau-Dashians.”
SANTA: Yes, I have 3 daughters. Not a lot of people realize that. I refer to them as my Ho-Ho-Ho’s.
KIM: So, I’m thinking, if the elves can build toys, why can’t we get them to build a Jacuzzi? We need a Jacuzzi more than we need a rocking horse. Or maybe a yo-yo.
KHLOE: I like yo-yos.
KOURTNEY: You are a yo-yo.
KHLOE: (giggles) I am.
ANNOUNCER: It’s the only way to keep up with the Clau-dashian sisters.
KHLOE: I don’t want any egg-nog.
KOURTNEY: You don’t like it?
KHLOE: I don’t believe in it.
KIM: Oh, you’re egg-nostic.
ANNOUNCER: Whether they’re sucking on icicles or North Pole dancing, you’ll want to make sure you don’t miss a single episode.
SANTA: Where are my reindeer? And why are you naked, Kim?
KIM: I’m protesting your abuse of animals! How can you make reindeer fly against their will???
SANTA: Suffering Sugarplums! They’re flying reindeer, that’s what they do!
KHLOE: We sent Rudolph to the plastic surgeon to get his birth defect corrected. His nose kept clashing with our outfits.
SANTA: What?? You’re fixing his nose? That’s what he’s famous for! Now he’ll just be famous for being famous, like you three. What are you doing now?
KOURTNEY: I’m tweeting this.
SANTA: That’s the TV remote.
KOURTNEY: I wondered why the channel kept changing every time I read my email. Oh, look! A clothes commercial!
ANNOUNCER: It’s gonna be a bumpy sleigh ride. And you can see it all on “The Clau-dashians.” Tonight on E!, right after “Big World, Little Elves.”
END
KIM: Dad, can I borrow the sleigh? Khloe, Kourtney and me have a date.
SANTA: No, you know I need it to deliver all the toys tonight.
KIM: You love all the other kids in the world more than you love us!
ANNOUNCER: It’s “The Clau-Dashians.”
SANTA: Yes, I have 3 daughters. Not a lot of people realize that. I refer to them as my Ho-Ho-Ho’s.
KIM: So, I’m thinking, if the elves can build toys, why can’t we get them to build a Jacuzzi? We need a Jacuzzi more than we need a rocking horse. Or maybe a yo-yo.
KHLOE: I like yo-yos.
KOURTNEY: You are a yo-yo.
KHLOE: (giggles) I am.
ANNOUNCER: It’s the only way to keep up with the Clau-dashian sisters.
KHLOE: I don’t want any egg-nog.
KOURTNEY: You don’t like it?
KHLOE: I don’t believe in it.
KIM: Oh, you’re egg-nostic.
ANNOUNCER: Whether they’re sucking on icicles or North Pole dancing, you’ll want to make sure you don’t miss a single episode.
SANTA: Where are my reindeer? And why are you naked, Kim?
KIM: I’m protesting your abuse of animals! How can you make reindeer fly against their will???
SANTA: Suffering Sugarplums! They’re flying reindeer, that’s what they do!
KHLOE: We sent Rudolph to the plastic surgeon to get his birth defect corrected. His nose kept clashing with our outfits.
SANTA: What?? You’re fixing his nose? That’s what he’s famous for! Now he’ll just be famous for being famous, like you three. What are you doing now?
KOURTNEY: I’m tweeting this.
SANTA: That’s the TV remote.
KOURTNEY: I wondered why the channel kept changing every time I read my email. Oh, look! A clothes commercial!
ANNOUNCER: It’s gonna be a bumpy sleigh ride. And you can see it all on “The Clau-dashians.” Tonight on E!, right after “Big World, Little Elves.”
END
