I found it! As I mentioned yesterday when I posted "Hal's Recycled Tree Lot," that skit was a brother to this sketch. This was a skit from my college days. I forget the reason we wrote it, I don't recall having a venue for it. We often wrote things for the heck of it back then. It was good practice for spending the rest of my life writing things for no reason. But the big tradition in the Northeast is swimming pool dealerships which would start selling Christmas items in the off-season. They were the original places that sold the big over-sized house decorations long before every store carried inflatable lawn displays. So, we thought it would be funny to watch one guy buck the trend. I found this version of the skit re-formatted for submission to the Prairie Home Companion show. It has a very SCTV vibe to it which would slide off into Python absurdity. It's a fun, short bit.
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Sid's Swim Center
by John Rawlins & Dan Fiorella
GK: This portion of the show is brought to you by Sid's Swim Center, reminding you it's only 10 days 'til Christmas..
(Christmas music plays.)
SID: (stiffly, New Yawk accent) Ho-ho-ho. So Christmas is here again and you feel like taking your traditional Christmas swim. Where can you go to get the best in swimming pools, filters, ice breakers and stuff like that? At those other pool centers? Heck, no! They're too busy selling Christmas trees and giant plastic candles and stuff like that. But not us! At Sid's Swim Center you won't walk in looking for a pool and leave with a holly wreath or mistletoe or stuff like that. We're open all year round and pools is our business, our only business. That's why we can charge exorbitant prices. That's right, exorbitant! on just about everything you need for your pool. Stuff like chlorine, algecide, ladders, slides, water, thermal bathing suits and stuff like that. Get a load of this week's special: Buy our Barrow's DeLux full-size water wheel now and get this inflatable Santa life-preserver absolutely free! It sure makes a swell gift for the kiddies. Ho-ho-ho. At Sid's Swim Center we get the most of your money. I oughta know, 'cause I'm Sid! So get into the holiday swim and come on down. Ho-ho-ho! (pause) How was that?
GK: Sid's Swim Center, conveniently located at Nome, Greenland, Hudson Bay, Syracuse, New York and exit Zero on the North Pole Turnpike. Remember, pools make a great stocking stuffer! And you'll get yours at Sid's Swim Center. Sid's Swim Center is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Polar Bear Club.
(Christmas music plays.)
SID: (stiffly, New Yawk accent) Ho-ho-ho. So Christmas is here again and you feel like taking your traditional Christmas swim. Where can you go to get the best in swimming pools, filters, ice breakers and stuff like that? At those other pool centers? Heck, no! They're too busy selling Christmas trees and giant plastic candles and stuff like that. But not us! At Sid's Swim Center you won't walk in looking for a pool and leave with a holly wreath or mistletoe or stuff like that. We're open all year round and pools is our business, our only business. That's why we can charge exorbitant prices. That's right, exorbitant! on just about everything you need for your pool. Stuff like chlorine, algecide, ladders, slides, water, thermal bathing suits and stuff like that. Get a load of this week's special: Buy our Barrow's DeLux full-size water wheel now and get this inflatable Santa life-preserver absolutely free! It sure makes a swell gift for the kiddies. Ho-ho-ho. At Sid's Swim Center we get the most of your money. I oughta know, 'cause I'm Sid! So get into the holiday swim and come on down. Ho-ho-ho! (pause) How was that?
GK: Sid's Swim Center, conveniently located at Nome, Greenland, Hudson Bay, Syracuse, New York and exit Zero on the North Pole Turnpike. Remember, pools make a great stocking stuffer! And you'll get yours at Sid's Swim Center. Sid's Swim Center is a wholly-owned subsidiary of the Polar Bear Club.
