Is there anything that has a shorter shelf life than a topical sketch that isn't selected? Other than that charcoal sneaker insole. It's rough. You pull together a decent take on today's headlines only to learn they didn't pick your sketch to be in this week's show. Then what? Submit it around to the hundreds of comedy troupes that are looking for sketches from strangers? Make a puppet show? Or, do you just start posting on your own blog because you never know (actually you do, but you do it anyway)? I often delve into political humor and that dates really fast. I try not to be too specific, but fortunately, a lot of the same stuff just comes up again and again. Seriously, it's like they can't let it go. So, maybe it hasn't dated just yet. For example, this proposed short video script...
Hillary Card Collection
INT. LIVINGROOM
(Gloria, harried wife on phone.)
GLORIA: I can’t believe Steve! He called my mother intrusive and fat. He lied to me about the big “business trip” he was supposed to be on and then he backed the car over my cat. I’m done. Done!
(Steve walks in with a card.)
STEVE: Gloria--?
(She hangs up.)
GLORIA: What do you want, Steve?
STEVE: I saw this and thought of you. I wanted to give it to you.
(Gloria takes the card and opens it to read.)
GLORIA: “To Gloria, I know you’re angry at me but…Crooked Hillary is still not in jail and that’s very, very upsetting. From Steve.”
(Gloria looks at Steve.)
CUT TO:
INT. STORE
(ANNOUNCER at store display.)
ANNOUNCER: It’s the Hillary Card Collection from Hallmark. When you need to shift the focus or the blame, just give one of these lovely distractions from Hallmark.
MONTAGE:
PEOPLE READING CARDS
WOMAN: “I missed your birthday, but Crooked Hillary deleted 30,000 emails!”
BOY: “There’s no money in this Bar Mitizvah card, but Hillary and the Clinton Foundation swindled Haiti!”
MAN: “I didn’t collude! Hillary colluded!"
WOMAN: “I forgot our anniversary…Benghazi!!!”
INT. LIVING ROOM
(Gloria is still looking at Steve.)
Gloria: (indicating card) There’s jewelry with this, right?
(Steve pulls out a jewelry box.)
GLORIA: Better.
INT. STORE
ANNOUNCER: Whether it’s a fumbled apology or an emotional nuclear attack, you’ll be able to play the Hillary card often and for years to come! The Hillary Card Collection from Hallmark; If you don’t send them, the terrorists win.
the end
(Gloria, harried wife on phone.)
GLORIA: I can’t believe Steve! He called my mother intrusive and fat. He lied to me about the big “business trip” he was supposed to be on and then he backed the car over my cat. I’m done. Done!
(Steve walks in with a card.)
STEVE: Gloria--?
(She hangs up.)
GLORIA: What do you want, Steve?
STEVE: I saw this and thought of you. I wanted to give it to you.
(Gloria takes the card and opens it to read.)
GLORIA: “To Gloria, I know you’re angry at me but…Crooked Hillary is still not in jail and that’s very, very upsetting. From Steve.”
(Gloria looks at Steve.)
CUT TO:
INT. STORE
(ANNOUNCER at store display.)
ANNOUNCER: It’s the Hillary Card Collection from Hallmark. When you need to shift the focus or the blame, just give one of these lovely distractions from Hallmark.
MONTAGE:
PEOPLE READING CARDS
WOMAN: “I missed your birthday, but Crooked Hillary deleted 30,000 emails!”
BOY: “There’s no money in this Bar Mitizvah card, but Hillary and the Clinton Foundation swindled Haiti!”
MAN: “I didn’t collude! Hillary colluded!"
WOMAN: “I forgot our anniversary…Benghazi!!!”
INT. LIVING ROOM
(Gloria is still looking at Steve.)
Gloria: (indicating card) There’s jewelry with this, right?
(Steve pulls out a jewelry box.)
GLORIA: Better.
INT. STORE
ANNOUNCER: Whether it’s a fumbled apology or an emotional nuclear attack, you’ll be able to play the Hillary card often and for years to come! The Hillary Card Collection from Hallmark; If you don’t send them, the terrorists win.
the end
