Our Easy-To-Keep New Years Resolutions!
MAN: No unnecessary space trips.
WOMAN: Cut back on adopting third world babies.
MAN: I resolve not to post government secrets online.
WOMAN: I’m cutting back on bacon-flavor sodas.
MAN: I’m turning down any offers to be the subject of a reality TV show.
WOMAN: Cut down on spamming people.
MAN: Stop tough negotiating with the Yankees.
WOMAN: No more suicide bombing missions.
MAN: Cut down on my egg-nog consumption for a couple of months.
WOMAN: Try to put on a few pounds.
MAN: I resolve to use more contractions in my speech and writing.
WOMAN: Limit my resolutions to once a year.
ANNOUNCER: Easy, right? So keep on listening for more of our Easy-to-keep New Years Resolutions!