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It's a Prairie Home Companion sketch story with a happy ending. I wrote up this piece back in December of 2000 and they passed on it. Too heavy on the double-entendres? Maybe. But I kept it handy afterward.
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By December of 2004, I had started freelancing for American Comedy Network, which produced comedy pieces which were then syndicated to radio stations all over the country that subscribed to their service.
Much of the more generic, less topical material that I created for PHC got routed over to ACN (in addition to new stuff). I had a pretty good success rate with them. Coming up on Christmas, Buy-agra was a perfect shopping season sketch that could play off-season as well. Malls were still a thing back then, you have to realize and Black Fridays were the Hunger Games of retail. So, here's the PHC version followed by the ACN production, with a shout out to my old pharmaceutical company, Ulti-med.
Much of the more generic, less topical material that I created for PHC got routed over to ACN (in addition to new stuff). I had a pretty good success rate with them. Coming up on Christmas, Buy-agra was a perfect shopping season sketch that could play off-season as well. Malls were still a thing back then, you have to realize and Black Fridays were the Hunger Games of retail. So, here's the PHC version followed by the ACN production, with a shout out to my old pharmaceutical company, Ulti-med.
Buy-agra
GK: Now this word from our sponsor:
TR: Honey, please, let's stop. I can't go on.
SS: What's the matter, dear? Can't keep up?
TR: I can't do it, honey. I'm sorry. This has never happened before.
SS: It happens all the time! I don't understand, don't you love me any more?
TR: It's not that, it's just I hate shopping! I hate going to the mall! We've been here three hours and I've stopped blinking. I just can't do it.
GK: How many times have you heard that, ladies? Yes, many women are married or involved with a man who suffers from spential dysfunctia, unable to endure any amount of time in stores, shopping centers or malls. When faced with shopping, they experience chills, fatigue, anxiety and sometimes temporary blindness. But now there's help. Ulti-med Pharmaceuticals introduces Buy-agra for men.
SS: Buy-agra? What's that?
GK: A new treatment which can increase your husband's shopping drive by 50%. No longer miss out on those one-day sales or limited time bargains because your man can't keep up. Buy Buy-agra today and you'll see.
AN: Buy-agra; from Ulti-med, the makers of Mall-lium, to help you wind down after a long day in the stores. Now available at better chain stores everywhere.
end
TR: Honey, please, let's stop. I can't go on.
SS: What's the matter, dear? Can't keep up?
TR: I can't do it, honey. I'm sorry. This has never happened before.
SS: It happens all the time! I don't understand, don't you love me any more?
TR: It's not that, it's just I hate shopping! I hate going to the mall! We've been here three hours and I've stopped blinking. I just can't do it.
GK: How many times have you heard that, ladies? Yes, many women are married or involved with a man who suffers from spential dysfunctia, unable to endure any amount of time in stores, shopping centers or malls. When faced with shopping, they experience chills, fatigue, anxiety and sometimes temporary blindness. But now there's help. Ulti-med Pharmaceuticals introduces Buy-agra for men.
SS: Buy-agra? What's that?
GK: A new treatment which can increase your husband's shopping drive by 50%. No longer miss out on those one-day sales or limited time bargains because your man can't keep up. Buy Buy-agra today and you'll see.
AN: Buy-agra; from Ulti-med, the makers of Mall-lium, to help you wind down after a long day in the stores. Now available at better chain stores everywhere.
end
12/04
