ETA: Yeah, Ligiddy is off line these days. I had to scrounge around to find what article it was, since I didn't bother describing it here at all. Remember those books and articles describing the Fifty Habits of Successful People? Yeah, I misread it once and that triggered this bit, which I'm now posting it here...
Filthy Habits of Successful People
A Google mishap occurred as we attempted to list the 50 most successful people and their habits and now we’re wondering if these are really the people who we should be emulating because, as it turns out, some of their habits are pretty filthy.
- Bill Gates: Picks nose.
- Warren Buffett: Never flushes the toilet after he goes.
- Eleanor Roosevelt: Sniffed her fingertips constantly.
- F. W. Woolworth: Sniffed the fingertips of his employees.
- Richard Branson: Cannibalism.
- Sam Walton: Ate with his fingers. I mean, even chili! Did you ever?
- Donald Trump: Appears on reality TV shows.
- Thomas Edison: Farted and blamed assistants.
- Henry Ford: Nazi.
- Louis B. Mayer: Bedded young starlets and then lied about it to his gay lovers.
- Steve Jobs: Too soon. You can’t believe the blowback I got online for attempting this line of inquiry. My laptop is still at the Nerd Shack trying to clear out all the stuff they sent my way.
- Col. Sanders: Licked his fingers before handling the chicken.
- Margaret Thatcher: Smoked shredded wheat.
- Oprah Winfrey: Bites her toe nails.
- Rupert Murdoch: Bites his employees’ toe nails.
- Ludwig van Beethoven: Never changed his bed sheets.
- Catherine the Great: Sex with horses. Oddly, I actually knew about this one.
- J.K.Rowling: Practices black magic. Which explains a lot.
- Henry Ross Perot: Doesn’t pick up after his dog.
- Charlie Chaplin: Held cock fights and bear baiting exhibitions in his Hollywood mansion.
- Charles Shultz: Serial killer.
- Steven Spielberg: Nazi (weird, right?).
- Arianna Huffington: Foreign Liberal. According to my dad, anyway.
- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Double-dipper.
- Dalai Lama: Never changes robes.
- John D Rockefeller: Constantly made heavy breathing crank phone calls.
- Albert Einstein: White slaver.
- Lee Iacocca: Insisted on wearing “Lucky Underwear” all the time.
- Julia Child: Kept licking utensils constantly. Even the ones she wasn’t using.
- Ted Turner: Recycles condoms.
- Mark Twain: Paid assassin.
- Aristotle Onassis: Mud wrestling.
- Lou Wasserman: King of the skid marks.
